Manic Pixie Dream Girl
by Junkie June
Summary: Searching for answers in the bottom of the bottle, answers to questions she doesn't know. Can he find her, or will she drown in her sea of whiskey and self destuction? Can he be her sun, if her dark past has left her as the lifeless moon? AH/AU OOC/Cannon
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I don't own what others already do, and I swear I will come up with some more original disclaimers for the next chapters.**

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**Prologue**

_Alice's POV_

I was that Sun. Something that once did shine, only to be lost in the darkness.

I lit another cigarette, focusing all my attention on the smoke rings, while trying to ignore the devastating similarities there once was between me and the sun. Looking up now at the moon and the stars didn't help much.

The stars were only what was left of the sun, smaller, scattered pieces, broken up and peeking through the darkness.

The stars were balls of gas, just like the sun, only they were useless and blended into the millions of others. There was nothing special or useful about a star, they were the suns that hadn't made it. They were the suns that fell behind and stayed in the darkness but they were not alone, and they still did shine.

The moon, a dry, lifeless, desolate, wasteland was what took the place of the shining sun. It was the opposite of the sun, it was death. Not shining like the sun or brilliant and surrounded by its own kind like the stars, the moon was just there.

If I was once the sun, now I was the dull, grey moon. Unlike the stars, I couldn't shine anymore and I was alone. I was the blank, lifeless figure hanging in the darkness.

I flicked my cigarette out the open window and wrapped my arms around my legs, pondering my new philosophy.

**-xo-**

Maybe seeing the future wouldn't be such a bad thing, nothing could be worse than constantly reliving the past. At least if I saw the future and knew what was coming, maybe change wouldn't be so intimidating because I could plan for it.

_More like run from it. _I pressed the cold glass to my lips and drank in the comfort I'd found in the bottom of countless empty bottles.

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**A/N: Shall we continue?**

**P.S. At the moment, this story is like my baby and I wish I could add my favourite quotes and parts to the prologue, but then I'd be giving away to much of the story. **

**Anyways, review if you'd like to learn more about this Manic Pixie Dream Girl. **


	2. Eau de Patron, Sunrise and Day one

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. I don't, but if I did, I would have at least taught Edward some manners. A hundred year old vampire should know not to play with his food, its rude.**

**I don't own Biggie, Young Buck, Tupac or anything esle that someone esle already owns. **

**In this story Alice shares a lot of similarities to Bella in the books. I know it would have made more sense to use Bella as the main character but I think Bella is more vocal about her problems, whereas Alice would rather keep it to herself and suffer in silence.**

**Oh and Jalice for life.**

**I was going to wait for more people to check out the prologue and tell me if they wanted me to continue this story, but screw it.**

**I love this story and I want to continue. **

**So... Enjoy!**

**PS. ****xo**

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A POV

_Vodka, Tequila, Scotch, Gin, Whiskey, Rum or Rye?_

Decisions, decisions.

_Johnnie, Jack or the Captain?_

These are the only people I need in my life. They don't complicate, but rather make living more tolerable. Well, at least living in Forks has become much easier with the collection of half empty bottles under my bed.

_White or Dark?_

Definitely hard stuff today. Need to be good and drunk for my first day.

_Grey Goose, Patron, Johnnie Walker, Tanqueray, Jack Daniel's, Bacardi or Jim Beam?_

So many choices. If only Father knew about the liquor cabinet under my bed. I chuckled darkly a loud as I pictured his face if he ever found it.

_White can be drunk in class but brown tends to agree with me better. _

I checked the clock as I pondered these options. I still had forty-five minutes until I had to leave. So much for time helping me decide.

Thoughts and concerns about the following hours plagued me.

_Drinking in public it is._

I quickly rushed down stairs and filled a water bottle a little less than half way with orange juice.

_Gin and Juice?_

_Tequila sunrise?_

_Screwdriver?_

I put as much effort into my alcohol selection as most girls do into their hair and make up.

_Tequila sunrise. Patron it is._

Seems fitting considering the time of day. I poured the Tequila into the water bottle, filling the empty space. I shook it up and took a nice big swig. Pretty soon I wont have an empty space either.

_Better double it to be sure. _

I ran back downstairs and filled another water bottle. There was no way I could handle today sober. I tossed the two bottles into my backpack and decided not to drink anymore until my car was parked at school.

_Don't want to risk totally another car. _

I pulled on a pair of short jean shorts and a plain black tank top. I considered heels, but opted for black flip flops instead.

_Must blend in._

I repeated to myself the entire drive. I don't want to know anyone here, and I definitely do not want to be noticed. The Alice who loved and lived for attention stayed in Seattle. I am not her anyone. I am the Alice who blends in. I will be just another nameless face in a sea of clones. I will not even stand out as the new girl, I will stay completely unnoticed.

I parked my old Volkswagen van and pulled a water bottle from my purse. I took two giant swigs and climbed out of my rustic van. I followed the signs for the central office as I passed through sea after sea of nameless faces. Small clicks of kids hung out in the halls, most were laughing, joking, smiling, some were teasing each other playfully or gossiping and snickering. Something I could never be apart of. Something I refuse to ever be a apart of. It was already half way through the first quarter, so no doubt allies and enemies were already made. I would be the new girl, coming in half way through the year while trying to stay unnoticed. It will be a challenge to say the least.

Lucky enough for me, I past through the crowds undetected and made it to the office without being bothered once. I talked to the secretary, making sure to stay far enough away so she couldn't smell my _Eau de Patron._ She gave me my schedule and course package before kindly directing me to my first class.

I pulled out my 'juice' and drank some liquid courage before turning the door handle. I knew I was late, the hall was empty when I left central office and I knew I'd be center stage for the next few minutes.

"Mary Alice, is it?" An older greying woman spoke from behind a large wooden desk.

I nodded and tried to keep my attention on her, pretending the rest of the student were not there. "Just Alice, please."

"Well Alice, I'm Mrs. Smith. It's nice to meet you. Why don't you tell the class about yourself."

This was the moment my liquid courage decided to make itself known in my body.

_Drunk? No. Tipsy? Maybe. Mouthy and buzzed? Yup. _

"I'd rather not." I stated a matter of factly and looked around the room for an empty seat.

"Don't be shy dear, go on." She said sweetly. I don't think she was trying to embarrass me, but I couldn't have people thinking I was shy. Everyone was able to talk to the shy girl, she did not necessarily give off an uninviting vibe.

I needed everyone to think I was a bitch, a snob, or just all around unfriendly. So I turned to face the class. "I'm Alice Brandon and I don't enjoy talking about myself. So don't ask." I smirked triumphantly at Mrs. Smith, who didn't seem amused with my speech.

"You can take a seat over there." She pointed to an empty seat in the back, far right half of the classroom. I plopped down next to a blonde haired boy and pulled out my 'juice'. After a nice, long gulp, I set it down on my desk and kicked back in my chair. I must have passed out during the class because I was awoken by the startling sound of the bell. I shoved my water bottle into my bag and headed for my next class.

I got there early and picked a seat in the back, on the wall. I was grateful that I only had to introduce myself to Mr. Petersburg then he left me alone.

Faceless, nameless kids started to fill the room. No one sat next to me after my little speech, thank god. I caught a pair of blondes eyeing me as they took seats at the table in front of me.

The room was buzzing while everyone chatted and waited for the final bell to ring. I sat in silence, occasionally sipping my Patron and shooting death glares at anyone who looked at me. I was about to rest my head on the desk and go back to sleep but a flash of blonde waves past in my peripheral and the chair next to mine shuffled.

"And there I thought you wouldn't wake up in time for this class." A voice with a noticeable southern drawl, whispered into my ear, much to close for comfort. I shuffled away and turned to be facing the guy I'd sat next to last class. He had honey blonde hair, that waved into his deep green eyes and stopped below his ears. His lips curled into a smirk which hinted towards arrogance while his eyes followed my every movement and assessed my worth.

"You seriously need some gum or something, I can smell it from here." The boy grinned smugly and motioned to my water bottle with his eyes.

Before I could come back with a witty and rude reply of my own, the two blondes in front of me turned around and purred in unison, "Hi Jasper."

"Ladies." He nodded his head once, acknowledging them. They battled their eyes and giggled before turning around.

"Mindless clones." I muttered under my breath in a tipsy haze.

The boy next to me chuckled loudly and extended his hand. "I'm Jasper Whitlock and you're in my seat."

I almost asked him if his name was on the seat before realizing just how juvenile that would be. "I don't care." I retorted with and turned away from him.

I was almost asleep when Mr. Petersburg cleared his throat loudly in front of the class. "We are going to start doing labs now until the end of the quarter. Like I told you last class, the person you are sitting next to is going to be your lab partner from now on. If anyone has a problem with this please come speak to me. For now, I'd like everyone to work on the handout with their partner."

I groaned before I even realised it, and grimaced when I caught Jasper smiling at me smugly. "So partner," He laughed and shuffled his chair to face mine.

"Not if I can help it." I huffed and pushed my chair back violently, before stomping to the front of the room.

I stood in front of Mr. Petersburg's desk and slapped on a sweet, innocent expression, "Sir, I'd much rather work alone, if that's possible."

He let out a long sigh and gave me a tired look, "If Mr. Whitlock is willing to work alone as well but it wouldn't be very fair to force him too."

I nodded my understanding and he motioned for Jasper to join us at his desk.

"Jasper, Alice wants to work alone, would working alone yourself be a problem?" Mr. Petersburg seemed annoyed that I'd put him in this position but in my defence, I wasn't around last class, so how was I supposed to know about lab partners and what not.

"I'd much rather work with a partner, Sir." When Mr. Petersburg looked away from us, Jasper shot me a wicked smile to gloat.

"Well, Alice you'll have to work with Jasper for now but if someone else wants to work alone, or switch partners, I'll let you guys know." I could tell from his tone he thought that was highly unlikely, which meant, I was stuck with Jasper Whitlock.

I plopped back down in my seat and hit my 'juice' bottle, _hard._ Once I couldn't stand the taste of straight Tequila with a subtle hint of orange, I tossed the almost empty bottle in my purse.

"You'll see, I'm not so bad Darlin'." Jasper drawled with a suggestion in his voice.

"How about this. Don't bother me unless it has to do with what we're working on." I hissed, hoping he'd take the hint.

He didn't unfortunately, but I tried my hardest to ignore his advances and coped by finishing one water bottle and starting the next. When the bell finally rang, I staggered out of the classroom quickly and make my way to my next class. Again, I arrived early, introduced myself to the teacher and opted for a seat in the back, against the wall. The classroom filled with kid once more and the chatting started.

"Hey Shortie, you be in ma seat." A huge, no wait, massive guy stood next to my chair, waiting for me to move.

I looked at him once, rolling my eyes and muttered how much I cared. I was expecting him to go away, there were many seats in the back still available but he didn't. Instead, he took the chair next to mine.

"The name's Emmett." He bellowed and extended his hand but quickly withdrawal it when he realised I wasn't going to shake hands. "You must be the new girl, Alice right?"

I nodded and started to drink. It's too bad, being only 5'2 and comparable to a gothic version of Tinkerbell doesn't really scream intimidating. Now, if I was the female equivalent of him, that would be a different story.

"Don't talk much do yeah, Shortie?" He slurred with a musical tone to his voice. The way he talked reminded me of a rapper, which I think is what he was aiming for. "What'cha sippin' on?"

He motioned to my water bottle with an amused expression, no doubt he could smell it.

"Patron and OJ." I smiled a tiny little bit before I was able to reconstruct my icy façade.

"Got a pocket full of paper, Patron in ma cup, tell them haters, catch up ho, bitch, you better buck, ho."

I couldn't hold my bitchy act any longer. I burst out laughing, almost spitting my patron on the chick in front of us. "You did not just quote Young Buck?" I mused and continued laughing like a fool.

"Hellz yeah I did Shortie. I'm impressed G, most hoes up in this bitch wouldn't know their 'Pac from their B.I.G."

I tried once again to recompose my uninviting attitude, but I broke out grinning seconds after, "That's blasphemy. West side for life." I chirped and made a 'W' with my fingers.

"Aw, hell no Shortie, I moved up here from New Jersey, I be a east coast rider til I die." He drawled with a massive playful grin.

"Not cool Big Poppa. Thug life be like major pimps." I laughed as I quoted Tupac's Bury Me a G and named Emmett after Biggie Smalls. I took a quick swig from my bottle and place it on the table between Emmett and I.

"If I gotta be sittin' with the enemy, you best be passin' the patron." He laughed and reach for my water bottle, taking a big gulp before I could warn him.

"Damn Shortie, I thought you said there's some OJ in there." He grimaced and winced at the taste. I chuckled and was about to mock his masculinity but was cut off by the teacher. When class finally ended, I said goodbye to Emmett quickly and rushed from the classroom. I instantly regretted talking to him, I didn't want to make friends and I didn't want to seem approachable that's for sure. There was something about him though, I just couldn't not smile around him.

I made my way to the cafeteria but quickly turned around and headed for my car instead. I was running low on supplies, thanks to Emmett, and definitely needed to refill my bottle. I only lived a few minutes from the school, so it didn't take long, but I knew Dad would be home for lunch soon and I'd have to hurry. I grabbed the bottle of Patron and shoved it in an oversized handbag.

_Roulette anyone?_

I stuck my hand under the bed and closed my eyes, my fingers wrapped around the neck of a bottle and I pulled it out.

_Hennessy cognac. _I silently laughed at how fitting it was after the conversation with Emmett, and shoved the bottle in my purse. I filled my water bottles a little less than half, with orange juice again and ran to my ancient van. I spun out of the driveway and down the street, passing my father on his way home for lunch.

_Perfect timing._

I parked in the lot, farther away than necessary, so no one would see me mixing my drink. I downed a good swig of Hennessy before tossing it in the back, along with the almost empty patron bottle. I stumbled out of the van and through the parking lot, collapsing on the grassy area close to the school, able to move my drunk ass any further. I checked my cell phone for the time and realised I still had forty-five minutes of lunch left. I debated getting something to eat, but my body was drunker than my mind and refused to move. So I just sat there, smoking cigarette after cigarette and sipping my Tequila sunrise. I watched the sky, and in my drunken haze I let my mind wonder. Thoughts of Seattle came flooding back to me, thoughts of my mother, my old school and of him. I wonder what he's doing right now. I hope he's rotting in a tiny cell. I knew that wasn't the case though, I knew he was free. There was no proof, it was only my word against his and no one believed me. I knew he was out there, walking among the normal people, stalking out his next victims.

"S'up Sunshine?" A massive figure blocked out the sun and I knew immediately but the musical tone, it was Emmett.

"Chillin' G." I played along and threw out my best thug impressions.

"Mind if I kick it with ya? Ma lady be doin' her own thang." The way he spoke, something told me this wasn't a game to him, like it was to me, he actually spoke like that all the time.

"Nah Big Poppa. S'all good." I laughed and patted the ground next to me. He smiled warmly and took a seat on the grass.

"Damn Sunshine, you still sippin' the patron?" He mused and grabbed my bottle, smelling it before he took a swig.

"Sunshine?" My brows furrowed in confusion as I tried to remember if he was calling me that in class today, but I could only recall of Shortie.

"Cha'yeah. Cuz you be sippin' on Tequila Sunrise, and you seem like a sunshine to me, homie." I didn't want to tell him how far from the truth and utterly wrong that statement was. So I just smiled and nodded.

"Yo Emmett." A voice shouted in the distance and I groaned loudly when I saw Jasper Whitlock running towards us, with another blonde haired boy following not far behind.

_So much for blending._

"S'up Jazz-man? S'up James?" Emmett called as the two boys got closer to us.

"You hittin' on my lady?" Jasper chuckled teasingly. I knew he was joking, but I still went into full bitch mode. I don't want anymore friends.

"Shot dawg, you talkin' bout ma lil Shortie right here?" Emmett mused with a smug grin. "Sorry Homs, this be ma Sunshine."

I tried my hardest to ignore Jasper, but he decided to take a seat on the grass in front of Emmett and I.

"How's it goin' _Sunshine_?" Jasper drawled with an apparent mocking tone to his voice.

"Fuck off." I hissed and lit another cigarette. I could help but look at Jasper though. The way the sun light hit him, I realized how handsome he was. Or maybe that's just the liquor talking. I grabbed the bottle and drank some courage, hoping to make it out of this friendly chat alive.

"Damn Shortie, don't be hatin' on ma homeboy here." Emmett seemed honestly confused but I just rolled my eyes. I wasn't about to explain my reasons for disliking him. Mainly because I didn't have any. "I gotta roll out Sunshine, can't keep ma woman waitin'." He stood up and flashed me a peace sign before bellowing out "Peace" in an extremely loud voice.

"What'cha got there?" Jasper drawled and again I knew he was mocking me.

"Patron." I laughed because I doubt he actually knew what it was.

Jasper raised an eyebrow asking me to explain further. I snorted with laughter, taking my chance to mock him, "It's Tequila."

"I'm partial to whiskey myself." Jasper chirped with a smirk that told me to kick the bitchiness up a nock.

"Figures." I laughed and stood up, wobbling a little but nothing I couldn't handle. I waved bye to Jasper and stumbled to the door.

My next two classes passed uneventfully, I didn't know anyone and I didn't meet anyone either, just the way I like it. I made my way to the gyms late because I needed my nicotine fix and stumbled threw the double doors.

I didn't have any gym clothes so my plan to blend in was a total fail. We were playing volleyball in small teams of sixes. I didn't recognise anyone on my team, but I did notice the blonde clones on the opposite team, standing with a larger, statuses blonde, who was full on glaring daggers at me.

_Enemies are better than friends. _I reminded myself just as the volleyball collided with my head. "What the fuck?" I growled loudly and the whole gym fell silent. I spun around to see the same blonde who was glaring at me, snickering with the clones at her flanks.

"Hey new girl. You'd better watch who's man you're sniffing around." The blonde shouted with a hint of threat to her tone.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I hissed as she approached. The clones never moving from her sides.

"Stay the hell away from Emmett or you'll be sorry." She snarled at me getting up in my face. I knew I could have thrown in some rapper lingo and confused the hell out of this chick but I let the boozes do the talking and sat back for the ride.

"Is that a threat Blondie?" I chuckled darkly, trying purposely to provoke her.

"It's a promise." I couldn't help myself from laughing, I couldn't believe she'd said that with a straight face. I continued laughing until I felt my cheek start to sting and I realised she'd slapped me. Before I realised what I was doing, my right hook connected square with her jaw. "Fucking slut." She hissed and lunged at me but was caught mid stride by the guy Jasper was with at lunch. The gym teacher came running over and grabbed my arm, dragging me out of the classroom.

I was sitting in front of the principals seconds after the incident, well it felt like seconds to me because I was…_Shit. I'm drunk_.

"Nice right hook." The guy from lunch appeared in front of me with a cheesy grin.

"Got gum?" I managed to mutter out. He searched his pockets and tossed me the pack. I popped one in and threw it back to him.

"James, by the way." He chimed and started down the hall, just as a hand landed on my shoulder.

"Miss Brandon, I presume?" An younger man with short blond hair asked. I nodded and followed him into the office. I sat down in one of the plushy chairs across the desk from him. A gold name plate stared me right in the face. _Carlisle Cullen. _Well, at least I know the Principal's name now.

"You know it is unusual for me to meet with new students on their first day here." He looked around before his concerned eyes landed on me. "You've been in trouble for fighting before haven't you, Mary?"

"Alice please and in both cases, she started it." I mumbled childishly, still letting the boozes talk for me.

"Regardless. You shouldn't be fighting. I'll let you off with a warning this time, but if it happens again, I'll be forced to suspend you." I mumbled my thanks and closed his office door. The secretary told me to sit on the bench outside the office until the final bell rang as I was leaving. I took a seat next to a little brown haired chick. She shot me a small smile and let her brown hair fall as a shield between us.

I sat in silence, pondering the events of today and trying to quench my thrust for liquor. I was broken from this thought by the mousey brunette next to me, making a small throat clearing sound.

"You're Alice right? I was in your first period English today, I'm Bella." Her voice lacked confidence like she was afraid I'd reject her. Truth is, I wish I was cruel enough to do it, for her benefit. I couldn't though, as much as I didn't want to socialize, this girl seemed very frail, I took pity on her vulnerability and courage.

"Hi Bella, what are you in for?" I was grateful that I at least had something to talk about.

She shrugged her shoulders casually, "I walked out of History because I didn't feel like getting bitched at. Yourself?"

I laughed at the contrasted in stories, she did something minor and was getting the same punishment as I was, "I decked some bitch in gym class."

"Oh my god, who?" She jumped on it quickly, her eyes widened as if she wanted to soak in every ounce of gossip.

"Emmett, that really big gangster guy's girlfriend, I guess… or a chick that likes him…I'm not sure, a really tall, blonde bitch." I stammered out, more as a question than an answer.

"Tall and blonde? That's got to be Rosalie, yeah she's Emmett's girlfriend. She's a total bitch- Wait? You hit Rosalie Hale?" She shrieked with a massive, impressed grin.

I shrugged, not knowing what to say. The conversation came to a halt when a tall, lanky boy with bronze coloured hair came and sat down next to Bella.

"Alice, this is Edward, my boyfriend." Bella chirped with a huge smile. I waved at Edward and turned my attention back to nothing. No need to be nice anymore, she has someone to keep her company.

"I know. She's in my Science and gym class. Nice right hook, by the way." Edward mused with a crocked but proud smirk.

"So I've been told." I laughed at the repetition, first that James guy, now Edward.

"I'm a little surprised you didn't slug Whitlock in Science today. Actually now that I've seen your incredible right hook, I'm disappointed you didn't" Edward chuckled and Bella slapped his arm, but I flared up with anger at the mention of Jasper. I don't know what it is about how, but he has a talent for pissing me off. I took a few breaths and tried to calm myself. When I'd finally suppressed my rage, I was able to hiss threw my teeth, "The year is young."

They laughed and Bella opened her mouth to say something but before she could say or ask anymore, the final bell rang and I dashed for my van. I was staggering while I was running, not watching where I was going, just focusing on my van. I crashed into something and a force stopped me from moving. I collapsed on the ground, the liquor finally immobilizing me. I caught a flash of honey blonde before I hit the grass, I briefly felt a pair of hands snake around my waist, but was to out of it to struggle.

"Christ, Alice are you alright?" Jasper southern drawl flooded my ears. When I finally snapped out of it, I pushed myself off of him and ran for my van. I jumped into the driver's seat and tossed my bag in the back. While I was momentary busy with my bag, I felt a sudden draft before I was shoved across the bench into the passenger's seat.

"There is no way in hell you're driving Alice." Jasper stated firmly as the engine roared to life. "Now, where do you live?"

"Fuck you. Get out." I snapped at him, suddenly both intimidated and annoyed by his actions.

"I'll leave you alone, after I make sure you get home safely." I could hear the concern in his voice, I could see it in his eyes, but I didn't care. I don't want him in my life.

"Why do you care? Why does it matter? Just get out of my life." I shrieked, I wasn't me anymore, I was the Patron now. Strong, uncontrollable with a harsh string.

"After I get you home, I'll fuck off." He muttered reluctantly and the van took off down the street.

I sighed in defeat, obviously I couldn't stop him now. "Just stop at the park. I can't go home yet." He did as I asked. I tripped out of the van and collapsed face first on the pavement. Before I could lift myself up, Jasper's arms twisted around my body and he lifted me into his arms. He carried me bridal style over to a grassy spot under a large tree and set me down. Then he ran back to the van, killed the engine and grabbed my purse from the seat.

"You can leave now." I hissed as he passed my purse to me. I dug through it and pulled out my pack of cigarettes. I checked it, but was disappointed when I realised I was out.

"You're not home yet." Jasper countered and passed me a cigarette from his pack.

"I'll never be." I whispered to myself, feeling the pain and heartache, I'd felt the day it happened.

"Home is where you make it." Jasper whispered back, taking me off guard for a second.

"I don't think I'll be making it anywhere long enough." I mumbled cryptically and I felt my heart ripping into pieces as I spoke. I couldn't do this, I had to keep my guard up, I couldn't let him in, he'd only hurt me or I'd end up disappointing him. "Walk away Jasper." I warned, but I knew he wouldn't give up so easily.

"I'm not going anywhere until I get you home Alice." I could see the hidden meaning in his eyes. He didn't mean my physical home here in Forks. I wanted to tell him he'd have to wait around forever, that my home died one sunny day in Seattle, but I couldn't. I couldn't reopen suppressed wounds.

I had nothing left to say, instead I just sat there, letting my mind wonder back to Seattle once again. I found myself remising about Jane, about Felix, about Demetri, about Alec. _You've been in trouble for fighting before haven't you, Mary?_ Mr. Cullen's words rang in my ears. She hit me first, she started it. Somewhere in the back of my mind, a voice was yelling at me, calling me a liar. _You started it Alice. You needed the attention. You forced her hand._ I flinched as I remembered the stinging sensation when Jane's fist first collided with my mouth, then the dull throbbing as it did so again, and again. Nothing I couldn't handle though, he hit much harder.

I shook my head, trying to shake the thought away, shake it right out of my mind. _You fucked Felix, you forced her to do it._ My conscious sneered inside me. My conscious, something I've desperately tried to drown in boozes, something I've constantly tried to silence, tried to kill. _You fucked everyone though. It's surprising someone didn't finish you off, after Jane. _I shook again, but I knew what was coming next, and I knew I would break down if I thought about him again. _Oh wait, he already tried to. _

I ripped the zipper on my purse, struggled with the cap on my bottle, before breaking it off and desperately bleeding the bottle dry.

"Slow down there, or you'll be spending the night with me as well." Jasper laughed as he threatened me playfully.

"Better than going to my Dad's." I chuckled darkly at the lesser of two evils but Jasper's eyes lit up.

"Then it's settled. You're staying with me." He grinned smugly and I knew this was a bad idea.

_So much for distance._

"No." I hissed, letting him know he'd over stepped his boundaries and stood up, trying to stumble to my van.

"Christ, Alice. Slow down. I'm sorry, I'll take you back now." Jasper called as he chased after me.

Jasper dropped me off at my house and walked back to the school, I guess. I ignored my dad's constant questioning and slammed my bedroom door. Hopefully he'd think I was on my time of the month or something and left me the hell alone. I crashed into my bed, praying I was drunk enough to escape dreams.

_The door creaks open slowly, relieving the shadows of the dark garage. The yellow_ _Porsche Mom had gotten me for my 16th__ birthday contrasted against the darkness. A rope hung above my car, I followed its lengths, but I already knew who was on the end of it. _

_Then I scream._

It's the same thing almost every night, unless I pass out drunk, I dream of the day I found her. The same day I'd wrapped my pretty little Porsche around a tree. Everyone thought I was just a stupid kid, one who didn't realise the dangers of drunk drive. No one realised that I drove that car into the tree. I was in control and the car went exactly were I directed it too. I wanted to hit the tree, it was no accident.

The sun would be up in a few hours and I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep again. I couldn't finish the nightmare, and keep my heart in tack.

Every night I relive my mother's death, and every night, it doesn't get any easier. I feel myself growing colder with each passing day, each passing nightmare.

Time does not heal all wounds.

What does not kill you, doesn't make you stronger, it only makes you colder.

These voices, these thoughts, these memories are the ones I try to drown. The alcohol doesn't stop them, but merely dulls the pain, they leave.

I mulled through my options but finally settled on some good old southern whiskey.

I opted for the same outfit as yesterday, shorts and a tank top. Much good it'll do now, not only does Emmett feel like he can talk to me, but Jasper and Bella do too.

_Avoid. Run. Coward. _

I walked to school today, opting for a white trash Irish coffee of sorts. Well just coffee and a lot of whiskey. At least if I walked, no one would feel the need to drive my car home after school.

First hour came and went, I passed out on my desk before the class started, so I had no idea whether Jasper sat next to me again or not. I have a feeling he did, I don't think he'd give up that easy.

"How you feelin' Darlin'?" Jasper southern drawl came from behind me as he pulled out the chair next to mine. I mumbled something unintelligible and followed it up with a strong, "Leave me alone."

The boy at the table in front of us, spun around to face me. I recognised him, but couldn't place him. Something about that smile though, I know him from somewhere…

"Hey Alice, how are you?" The boy flashed his crocked smile at me. Oh right, Edward.

"Hey Edward, been better." I glared at Jasper to prove a point.

Edward laughed and muttered, "The year is young." Quoting me from yesterday as he pulled out the chair next to him for a tall, thin blonde woman. The way he acted with the woman, I could tell they were close. I briefly wondered if Bella knew but figured best not to get involved.

I managed to avoid any mention of yesterday with Jasper and focus on the lab. The bell rang all too quickly and I was off to history to face Emmett. I rushed there, hoping to beat him to the classroom. This way if he wants to sit with me, he will and if he doesn't, he wont.

No such luck though, Emmett already had our table, leaving 'his seat' and my wall seat open for me. I took it as a gesture of friendship, sucked in a breath and staggered over there.

_You only had one friend, and you managed to fuck it up the day you met him? Good job Alice. _

I took a big swig of my coffee, hushing the voice of my conscious while I waited for the awkward silence to lift.

"Damn homie, ma lady be doin' two to five this week." Emmett finally blurted out, but with more amusement in his tone, than I'd expected.

I took a second to make should I got my translation right before I spoke, "Didn't mean no respected Big, but your lady be trippin' yesterday, be talkin' a lot of shit. Sayin' I can't be talkin' to ma homeboy. Damn man."

Translation: I'm sorry, she started it, she said I could talk to you anymore and I feel bad. _Perfect._I mentally congraduatlated myself at how fluent I was in the language of gangster rap.

"Ain't nothing G, ma lady be straight up rude, but that's why I love her homes." Emmett boomed with a foolish grin. _Aw, that's was sweet. I think._

"I don't got any beef with your girl Big, she got beef with me. I ain't gone be hatin' on her." I considered each word as I spoke-rapped it, making sure I didn't accidentally say something stupid.

"Rosie's got beef with everyone Sun. Ain't nothing new. Only, no mofo up in this shit has ever crossed ma gal. Ain't no man got the balls." Emmett seemed to ponder it for a moment, before looking me up and down, not assessing my worth, but the way a trainer looks over a champion racehorse.

"Wait, no ones ever even told her off?" He words tripped me up and I dropped the rapper dialect for a moment in my confusion.

"Nah man, Rosie be the Queen up in this bitch." Before I could reply the teacher hushed the class and started her lecture. Well, at least Emmett had given me something to think about.

_I deck the Queen Bee. _

Well, so much for blending in. I guess the new plan would be to become public enemy number one, and I'm well on my way after yesterday.

The bell rang and all the cattle herded to the lunch room. I've always hated the school system for this fact alone.

We are cattle.

We are mindless, brainless, zombies. Who need our brains to be stuffed with knowledge and need to be told what to do and how to do it.

The school system is much, much too confined. I can't wait to be out of here. I'm not a sheep, and I refuse to be treated as such. I need out.

I broke away from the clones and found an empty bench outside. Which wasn't all that hard, considering how hard its raining today. I lit a cigarette and sat back, feeling sharp pricks as the rain drops pinched my skin.

"Hey slugger, you got an extra on of those?" A boy plopped down next to me and his lips curled into a teasing smirk. I passed him my pack before looking him up and down.

"James, right?" I wasn't sure, but I was sure he was the boy from the office, the one who told me I had a good right hook, or was that Edward?

_Too late now. _

"Yeah, and you're the new girl, Alice right?" He asked with a suggestive smirk. A part of me knew there was nothing friendly about that smirk, it sent shivers down my spine, but I chalked them up to the cold weather and faked a smile.

"Yeah, I guess I am." I tried to keep my tone neutral, but the whiskey was having the same effect it always did. Whiskey makes me happy, chatty and social.

_Mental note: Terminate relationship with Mr. Jack Daniel's. _

"Well Cutie, if you need _anything_, don't be afraid to come find me." He emphasised 'anything' by aching an eyebrow, and my common sense was screaming to run.

_But you're common sense also told you to swerve from that tree…_ Another voice chuckled darkly, drowning out my common sense.

"Anything?" The whiskey asked before my brain could catch up with my mouth. The minute it slipped, I wanted to crawl into a dark hole. I'm not that Alice anymore, I repeated to myself again and again to made sure I kept my drunk mouth shut.

"Anything you like, baby." He chuckled darkly, dragging his eyes along my body and pausing at my breasts.

Before I could find my words, I noticed a shadow in my peripheral vision and a voice hissed, "James." curtly.

I spun around and faced my bronzed haired savoir. "Oh hi Edward." I said politely and motioned for him to sit, secretly praying he would.

My silent prayers were answered and James stood up, nodding his head to acknowledge Edward before smirking devilishly at me and undressing my body with his eyes once more.

I took a long hall off my cigarette, trying to calm my racing nerves before looking at Edward. His lips were pursed and his features appeared older than they should while his eyes were wild and young with anger.

"He's a snake, watch out for him." Edward sneered in the direction James had left in. I knew his anger wasn't directed towards me, but it made me uncomfortable all the same.

"Yeah, I figured that much." I muttered, trying not to let my drunkenness be mistaken for naïve.

"If he gives you any trouble, just tell me. I've been dying to put him in his place." Edward's anger turned in a smug, hateful cockiness as he spoke.

"Okay, thanks." I mumbled reluctantly and flicked my finished cigarette into the wet grass before stomping it out.

"Not a problem, any friend of Bella's and such." He laughed but my jaw dropped. I'm not her friend, I only met her once.

"Oh no, I'm not…" I stopped when I realised how rude saying it would be.

"Not yet. Trust me, I know things." He mused cryptically, and emphasised his point with a wink.

I fumbled through the rest of the day, avoiding anyone who knew my name and skipping the James-Edward conflict I was sure to face in gym. Instead, I headed for the park and took a seat under the tree where Jasper and I had sat last night.

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**A/N: Ugh. I edited this chapter yesterday with FF spell-check and saved it. So now I go to post, and none of my spelling corrections saved. **

**Oh well, at least my spelling isn't that bad. Still, sorry about the errors. **

**I hope you enjoyed! **

**Review if you'd like me to continue, or even if you think this story is a lost cause. I don't mind, I just want feedback. **

**PS. xo**


	3. Dreaming of Yesterday & Tomorrow

**Disclaimer: I don't own what SM does, but if I did, Twilight certainly wouldn''t be based around a whiny human, a frigid vampire and a Neanderthal wolf. But then there also would be a story, quite the dilemma. **

**Thanks to all that reviewed. You guys seriously made my day. **

**I just want to give a quick shout out to daydreamingaway for correcting a spelling mistake I made & now fixed in every chapter. THANK YOU!**

**Also, I forgot to warn you guys, this story deals with a lot of dark themes. It is after all, rated M for a reason, or several. In this chapter we start to get into the dark stuff, just a heads up. **

**(Rated M for violence, abuse, drug use, sexual abuse, lemons and good old teenage angst.)**

**This chapter is short compared to the rest of them, but it gives the first sight into Jasper's mind.**

**So Enjoy.**

**PS. xo**

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**J POV**

I rolled over and kicked my blankets in frustration. I haven't slept much this past week. Not since I first laid eyes on that dark little pixie.

She haunts my dreams at night. Her dark, cloudy, blue eyes intrigue me. Her silky, porcelain skin begs my hands to wonder her delicious curves. Her long, soft looking legs tease me and her entire presence tantalizes me, driving me to the brink of insanity.

Every time I close my eyes, I see her there. Sometimes she's happy, her eyes glow a light blue, the cloudiness disappeared. Sometimes it's just her, the painful dark eyes and all. But sometimes, she is mine and I can let my hands wonder, while my mouth places soft kisses along her torso.

Sometimes I wake up, disappointed because I'm alone.

Sometimes I wake up afraid for her, fearing she's in danger.

Sometimes I wake and realise it was all a cruel dream.

But mostly, I wake up and my heart falls into my gut when I roll over and realise she's not actually here. Tonight was no exception, I try to convince myself that she isn't real, she is only a fantasy, a beautiful creation of my mind.

But I know I could never imagine someone so perfect. Alice Brandon was definitely real and she was definitely going to be the death of me.

I laid awake in bed as I recalled tonight's dream.

_She was in my bedroom, in my bed, smirking up at me with lustful eyes. I brushed a stray hair from her cheek, my eyes begging to kiss her. She moved closer to me and my breath stilled as she brushed her full bottom lip against mine. I couldn't control the man inside me, the animal any longer. My fingers twisted into her hair, clasping my fist around the smooth brown locks as I pulled my mouth to mine. She would be mine now. Our lips met and crashed forcefully together, they moved together with an amazing urgency and passion. Her little hips begin to grind against my growing erection while my lips moved to her neck, kissing and nipping my way down. _

"_I need you." She pants breathlessly as my hand slides down her torso to passing her stomach and hips…_

Then I slap myself because I woke up. Its always the same, I always wake up before I can touch her. It's like, even in my dreams, she teases me.

_Fuck this. _I kicked off my blankets and slid on my jeans from yesterday. I don't know where I'm going but I can't lay in bed, being teased by a woman who wont even give me the time of day.

_You know exactly where you're going and you're a fool if you do this._ Something inside me hissed. I knew it was true, but I couldn't bring myself to stop.

The engine of my truck roared to life loudly and I thanked god my folks slept like the dead. Makes sneaking out all the easier. Not like they'd notice me missing however. I rarely saw them, even though I was an only child and did live in the same house as them, they never seemed to have the time. Which suits me just fine, I'd gotten used to being on my own. I had a large support system of friends, so I didn't _need_ family. The only family I needed was my cousin, who'd come to live with us a few years ago. She was the only true family I needed.

I circled the block a few times before I finally found the nerve to tap on the window with the light on.

**APOV**

_The door creaks open slowly, I brace myself for what I'm about to see, but instead I'm in her bedroom. The bedroom they shared. He's standing in front of me, inviting me in. My legs freeze and I can't move. I'm trapped between two evils. When I don't follow his orders, he drags me in, locking the door behind us. _

_His cold, firm hand lands square on my cheek and I spin to the ground. The blood dripping from my mouth. His foot lands in my stomach before he orders me on my feet. _

_I do what he asks. Maybe he'll stop then. His lips crash into him and I tried to push him away but he's to strong. _

"_Don't you fight me, Mary Alice, or I'll have to take this out on her." He hissed and pulled my dress over my shoulders. I didn't fight him. He pushed me onto her bed, and I didn't fight him. He thrusts into me and I don't fight him, because if I do, he'll hurt my mother. I laid there, waiting for him to be done with my body as if it were disposable. When he finishes inside me, I don't move until he's gone. I don't so much as breath until I know I'm alone. But I wasn't alone, there was a knock on the door, I don't answer, the knocking continues. _

Then I scream, louder than I've ever screamed before.

_Tap, tap. _Wait is that real? I quickly tried to dry my tears before I pulled the shade open a little bit to peek outside. I slid my window open when I recognised the honey blonde locks.

"Jasper. What the hell?" I hissed through the half opened window.

"I heard screaming are you alright Alice?" His voice was rushed with panic and I knew if I could see his face I'd see it there too.

"I'm fine Jasper. What are you doing here?" _Lair, _my conscience hissed in the background.

"Not really sure myself Darlin'. Want to hang out with me for a bit?" His voice hinted that there was more he wasn't telling me but as much as I didn't want to be close to anyone, I would much rather not be alone right now.

"Fine. Just a minute." I sighed and grabbed a bottle from my stash before flicking off the light and climbing out the window.

**J POV**

We ran towards my truck, and took off down the street quickly, before her father had a chance to notice she was missing. I pulled into the lot and parked at the park, our park. It wasn't until we were walking through the grass that I noticed Alice was still in her pjs, walking through the park barefoot. She was my fantasy come to life. Her hair messy in the way that she'd just rolled out of bed. _Hopefully my bed, one day. _Her tiny, silk night gown flowed gently in the autumn breeze. Her arms swung freely by her side as she carelessly flung the bottle of liquor around.

It took me a moment to put the clues together, before I raced to catch up with her. "Alice, here." I pulled off my sweater and offered it to her but she shook her head causally, turning away from me. My hand clasped around her tiny arm and I spun her back to me, pulling her into my chest. She flinched and tried to pull away from me.

"Please Darlin', its cold and you're drunk, just put the sweater on." I pleaded sweetly, but was getting ready to force her little body into the thing, if I had to.

"Fine." She sighed and wrapped the sweater around her shoulders. I let her go and she skipped along freely as I trailed behind, admiring the view of her long bare legs. When I finally caught up with her, she had collapsed into the grass, by the tree we sat under the other day.

"So, do you normally come stalking around peoples windows at three in the morning to hang out?" She mocked sweetly but I could tell her tone was guarded, like a double edged sword.

My head collapsed into my hands as I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to calm my racing nerves, "Only when I've stayed up the passed few nights thinking about the person."

"Jasper, don't." She sighed and her voice had a hint of regret, but I chose not to focus on it, instead I changed the subject.

"Want to talk about your nightmare?"

Her head snapped up and she glared at me venomously. "No."

"You sure? It helps to talk about it." I whispered, hoping to get to know her a little better by learning what she feared enough to scream like that.

"You can't help me Jasper. I'm not a project or something to be fixed. Besides, it wasn't a nightmare,-" She paused to look into my eyes. "-it was a memory."

I shuddered involuntary, _what in her life could have been so painful that she screams out in terror just at the memory? _I had nothing to say, so instead I threw my arm over her shoulder and hugged her body close to mine. She struggled and tried to pull away, but I held on until she gave up and moved in closer. "I've wanted to do this since the day I saw you." I whispered and tightened my grip to hugged her closer if possible.

"Just don't. Don't ruin it." She mumbled and rested her head on my chest, moving closer to my body with each breath. My arm slid down her shoulders and rested my hand on her lower back. I eventually worked up the courage to shift her into my lap, she didn't hesitate. I buried my face into her short brown hair and grinning like a fool when I realised what I was doing.

"God, I haven't been able to get you off my mind." I whispered into her hair before I remembered her no talking rule.

"Please don't say those things Jasper, or I'll leave." I was unable to ignore the regret in her voice. My hands landed forcefully on her hips, holding her firmly in my lap.

"Tell me you don't like me, tell me you don't like what I say to you, tell me you don't want me and I'll leave you alone." She wiggled a little, trying to free herself while I talked but then her body became tense and her little hands clung to my shirt.

"No, please not alone. Not again." She whispered so softly, I don't think I was supposed to hear it. I didn't reply out of respect and only hugged her to my chest.

_You'll never have to be alone again. _I promised silently.

**A POV**

I thought I wanted to be alone, to be quarantined like the disease I am. Being here in Jasper's arms felt so safe, so right, so much like home. I wasn't ready to give this up, even though I knew I had to.

For tonight though, I wouldn't be broken. I'd be perfect for him, he deserved that much at least. I knew it'd hurt me tomorrow, but that pain can be dulled with boozes. Tonight, I wanted one night to be everything I'd ever wished I could be.

Tonight, I just wanted to be loved.

So I let him hold me, and I held back, clinging to his shirt like a life vest, as if he were the only one who could keep me from drowning in my sea of suffering.

His fingers ran through my hair, combing my strands as a means of comfort but it was anything but. I didn't want him to comfort me. No, not tonight. This wasn't about me tonight, this was about him. It was about me being everything he'd thought I was this past week. I could give him that, he deserved that, he wasn't broken. He didn't know or need to know what it felt like to be rejected and torn. I couldn't let him be hurt the way I had been. So tonight we will pretend.

"Why have you been thinking about me?" I whispered, an undertone of desire in my voice.

His lips brushed against my ear and my breathing hitched, becoming harder and harder to keep my breathing normal. His lips pressed against my ear and my body sparked to life from his touch.

I bit into my lip, trying my hardest to stifle a small moan building in my throat. I couldn't stop it, I moaned out softly as he whisper, "I don't know but you haunt my dreams, I can't stop thinking about you."

I could feel his warm breath and lips on my skin, every nerve in my body was alive again, my heart pounded erratically while the tension being building inside of me.

"W-What do y-you dream about?" I stuttered and this time, it had nothing to do with the alcohol.

Jasper's body tensed under me, but relaxed just as quickly. "Well, I dream about holding you,

**J POV**

I dream about kissing you, I dream about waking up with you. Sometimes, I dream about you being happy, that I make you happy.-" I sighed, I didn't want to tell her that I mostly dream about the sadness in her eyes, the pain, the hurt, and the her total lack of faith in humanity. I didn't want to tell her I see the guarded, untrusting, black emotion in her cloudy dark eyes. I knew though, if I told her, she would know I saw right through her drunken mask and either she'd push me away, or she'd let me in. I wasn't ready to gamble tonight, it felt too good holding her in my arms, I wasn't ready to give that up, I wouldn't chance it, not tonight. "-Then when I wake up and realise you're not laying next to me, I try to sleep again but I can't."

"Why Jasper?-" Alice whispered and shuffled a little in my lap, earning a positive reaction from my groin. She turned to face me, her lips so close, I could feel her warm breath on my mouth. If wouldn't take so much as a twitch for our lips to be pressed together, my body tensed with anticipation and my breathing slowed, as I waited for her lips to met mine. "-Why me?"

The sadness hung in her eyes, but it was conflicted with regret. My insides boiled with a red hot rage and I wanted to kill whoever had hurt her like this, whoever had left her so broken, she'd given up on trying to find the pieces.

"I don't know Alice. You've barely said two words to me that weren't telling me to leave, but I can't stop myself from thinking, dreaming about you." It was true, tonight was probably the most we'd talked to each other without her telling me to go away. She shuffled a little more and placed her tiny hands defensively against my chest, trying to restrain me or keep me from leaving.

**A POV**

I found myself face to face with him, so close I could feel his warm breath on my mouth. I caught my eyes wondering to his full, luscious lips as he slowly dragged his tongue across them. I'd subconsciously places my hands on his broad chest, letting them linger there, as his grip tightened around my hips, holding me there. I wanted so badly to kiss him, and I knew he wanted the same. We sat there for a few moments, in a daze as the sexual energy continued to build between us. I watched his eyes as the searched mine for something, something that would tell him I wanted him. Subconsciously, we continued to inch closer to each other, as his lips gaze ever so slightly against mine, sending tingles down my spine causing me to shiver with anticipation. Suddenly, it was hard to breath, I tried to steady my pounding heart beat as I waited for his touch. His lips crashed forcefully into mine, while he pulled me into his body and my hands slid up his chest, to find place around his neck. He bit into my lip, so his tongue could gain entrance into my mouth. My hands instinctively twisted in his honey blonde hair, pulling him deeper into my mouth and causing him to moan a little. We stayed like that for what felt like a much to brief second, but in actuality must have been a lot longer. We our lips broke apart, my breathing came in short pants, half due to shock and half due to pleasure. My lips tingled with electricity and I could feel everything in my body, I felt alive again. Something I hadn't felt in a ever long time, but the strange part was, I didn't even know I was dead before, until now.

Warning bells went off in my head while a voice hissed, _mistake, mistake, mistake…_ over and over again. The voice was right, I knew now tomorrow would hurt much, much more than I'd initially thought. Tomorrow wouldn't just be painful because I let someone get close, only to have to push away from them again. That would sting but I could have handled it. But now instead, I'd die all over again and I wasn't ready for that kind of pain, not again.

"Jasper, I-I'm s-sorry, this was a-a mistake." My voice trailed off, and I knew he saw right through my protective lies, but he didn't say anything. Instead he brought his lips to mine, brushing them gently across my parted lips before crashing them together again. I reluctantly broke away, while my conscience called me a traitor.

"I can't." I whispered and pulled away from him, but stayed in his arms. I could feel his erection pressing against me as I moved. I was having trouble finding the will power to deny him, to deny myself the pleasure. I don't know what I was thinking, or if I was thinking, but I got up, took his hand and pulled him to his truck.

"Take me home." I whispered, hoping he'd catch the cryptic meaning.

"Where's that Miss Alice?" He purred, his voice husky with lust. He placed both hands on the passenger's door, trapping me between them while he used his body to pinned me there.

"Tonight, I can be yours." I whispered seductively and his lips met with mine again while he pressed his body to mine. My fingers twisted in his hair, pulling him deeper into my mouth as I grinded my hips against him. He broke away abruptly and opened the door for me like a gentlemen.

I crawled under the sheets next to him, and curled up to his chest, resting my head on his shoulder. I was awoken hours later not by screaming, not by a nightmare, but by a gentle rap on the door. The sleep induced haze was finally lifted when my eyes landed on Jasper's sleeping form next to mine, I froze.

_Shit, shit, shit. What have I done?_

The door softly creaked open and I heard a half familiar voice calling Jasper's name. "Jasper, come on, you gotta get up. You slept in and we have to be at school in forty-five minutes." The voice whined with a hint of irritation but overall kindness. I nudged Jasper a little, something about the voice made me want to help the woman, like she was too kind for her own good. I took pity on whoever it was and nudged him again.

"Jasper?" The door creaked open a little more and the voice become stronger, clearer.

"Fuck off B." Jasper groaned beside me and grabbed his arms around my waist, burying his face in my hair, and placing gentle kisses on my neck. "Mornin' Darlin'." He drawled softly in my ear, his southern accent thicker due to his sleepy tone. He pulled my body to his, pressing against me so I could feel his morning wood.

"Jasper Whitlock, you get out of bed this instant." The voice shouted and the lights came on, violently blinding me for a moment. I buried my face in the crook of his neck, trying to hide from the inevitable embarrassment of being caught. There was a soft gasp before the woman muttered, "Oh god, I'm _so _sorry. Uh... -school. Get ready." I couldn't see her face, but the embarrassment was clear in her sheepish voice.

"S'aright B. We're getting up." Jasper mumbled and I knew he was smirking, I didn't have to see it to know.

"Shit. School." I shouted in a panic, only after I heard the door click closed. I jumped off the bed and rushed to find my purse. "Shit, shit, shit." I cursed under my breath when I looked at the time. "I don't have anything? Shit." I mumbled as I paced the room. I knew there wasn't enough time to go back to my place, but I couldn't go to school in my pjs, without even a pair of shoes.

"Slow down Ali, I'm sure B would lend you something for now, and I'll take you home at lunch time if you want to get your stuff." Jasper stated as he jumped off the bed, trying to calm me so I wouldn't pace the room any longer. I reluctantly agreed and Jasper left the room to find 'B', whoever that was. His sister maybe? _Oh god I hope not. _I wondered what she must think of me, the girl half naked in her brother's bed.

He returned seconds later and directed me to B's room.

I pushed the door open and noticed a small brunette studying her wardrobe. She was a little taller than me, with long brown hair that flowed freely to her waist. She must have realised I was here because she spun on her heel and turned to me. My jaw dropped. _Fuck._

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**Review if you love this Alice and Jasper as much as I do. **


	4. Can't ask Alice anything, anymore

**Disclaimer: I don't own what I don't own, the people who own it do.**

**Mega THANKS to my reviewers, you guys are awesome.**

**I know its has been a while since the last chapter, I'm sorry! **

**I'll try to post more often, but FF has been seriously ticking me off, I've been trying to post this chapter for two weeks now, FINALLY.**

**xo**

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A POV

"Bella?" I gawked, trying to recollect my jaw from the floor. Her lips curled into a massive grin as she pranced across the room, wrapping her arms around my neck and pulling me into a big hug.

"_Ohmygod_, hey Alice!" She exclaimed enthusiastically with the same foolish grin as before. She skipped back to her closet and started tarring through it, tossing an arm full of clothes on her bed. "Pick what ever you like, Sweetie." She chirped with a genuine smile that intrigued me.

_How could someone be so kind, unguarded and naïve? Doesn't she know people will kick her when she's down?_

I muttered a thanks and picked through the heap of clothing. "You should totally wear this." She chimed innocently without a tint of hatred or ill intent to her voice. She held up a purple cocktail dress, that looked darling and causally all at once. I shrugged and took it from her, to caught up in the mysterious trusting ways of this girl.

_How can she trust me to give it back to her? Why is she helping me? Why can't she just hate me so I don't have to hurt her too?_

I slid the dress on and stood in front of the full length mirror. "Wow." Bella whispered with a hypnotic tone. At first I thought she was kidding, being sarcastic or whatever. I thought she wanted me to look bad, to wear something stupid, but when my eyes focused on what was staring back at me, I knew I was the one with the problem, not her. She was right, the dress did look amazing but what was even more incredible was her total honesty. She didn't try to sabotage me as I mentally accused her of, she didn't try to make me look like a fool, she was genuinely trying to help me. Bella was the definition of wearing your heart on your sleeve.

I was about to thank her but she held up her index finger and danced happily to her closet, only emerging moments later with a pair of shoes. I did as she commanded without question and slipped them on. I took a good long look at the girl staring back at me. She was happy, she had friends, her insides weren't shattered beyond repair, she was smiling, genuinely smiling but she wasn't me. The girl staring back didn't wake up screaming nights, her heart hadn't been left in small pieces, her mind hadn't turn to mush, her body hadn't been a disposable tool nor had it been a punching bag. The biggest difference though, the girl in the mirror was sober and still happy, she wasn't me. She was everything I couldn't be, she was what I'd been for Jasper last night, she was my façade, my mask and everything I wished I could be.

Bella returned with a small toiletry bag in one hand and a flat iron in the other. "Wasn't sure if you were a make up kind of gal or a hair gal." She mused offering me both. I waved her off but she pursed her lips into a thin line and studied me. I shifted my weight uncomfortably because I knew she was judging me, analyzing my appearance. I wish I could hide, I felt too vulnerable, like I was on display.

"Honey, you're at least gonna brush the sex outta your hair right?" She asked sternly and I couldn't stop myself from breaking out into a fit of laughter. She wasn't judging me, she was merely observing my matted bed hair. _Wait a second, did she just tell you to brush the sex out of your hair?_

"Oh my god. We didn't have sex." I croaked, half asking or reminding myself, half correcting her.

She chuckled softly and mused with a teasing tone, "Oh I know Sweetie, you wouldn't be here if you did."

_Cryptic much?_

"What do you mean?" I muttered not sure I wanted the answer.

Bella handed me a hair brush before plopping down on her bed and sighing, "Jasper doesn't do _sleepovers. _If you had had sex and on the off chance he was too tired to drive you home last night, Jasper would have driven you home extra early this morning so he wouldn't have to show up to school with a girl."

I ran the hair brush through my hair and thought about what she'd said. I took a moment to try to decode it, but was plagued with questions. So I asked the one that was pressing at my mind the most, "Should I leave?"

Bella's jaw dropped and she jumped off the bed as if I'd just told her the house was on fire, "No, no, no." She said in a rush but trying to assure me. When she finally calmed down, she placed a reassuring hand on my arm but I involuntarily flinched from being touched.

"What do you mean 'Jasper doesn't do sleepovers?'" I hissed protectively and placed the hair brush on her night table.

Bella ignored my venomous reaction and let out a small sigh, "Jasper doesn't let girls sleep over. It has happened a few times before that they have, but he always drove them home before school so he wouldn't be seen with them after.-" She stopped and looked at the ground sheepishly. "-Jasper does one nighters only."

"Oh." Was all I could manage to mumble.

_Are you surprised? It's karma! You're no better. Alec, Felix, Demetri, Mark. _My conscience continued spitting a list of names and I tried to will the thoughts away. _Why do you care anyways? No one gets close, no one gets hurt remember? Did you actually think he care about you? Did you actually think he would like someone as fucked up as you? _Now it hurt more, more than I'd imagined when I let him hold me and knew I'd be alone again soon. More than I thought it would when I knew I would feel dead again.

I think I could have handle alone, I could have survived dying again, even if just barely, but this ripped the band-aid off my suppressed wounds. This, peeled the scab and scratched at them until they bled.

I was disposable again, replaceable, something to be tossed away when finished with. I wasn't alone anymore, I was worse, I was nothing now.

_Blend in, you say? Well isn't this what you what? To blend in to the sea of nameless, faceless people? Well, guess you got what you wished for. Now, you do. Now, you're just one of the nameless, faceless chicks that have laid in Jasper Whitlock's bed. _

I had forgotten Bella was in the room until she clear her throat and offered me a sympathetic smile.

_I don't need your pity. I got what I deserved. _My conscience hissed, triumphant in my misery.

I wouldn't let her pity me. No. Fuck that. I slapped on a smug smile and chuckled darkly, "You think he'll be driving me to school until he gets what he wants?"

Bella's smile faded and she stared at me wide eyed. "Uh,well, I meant it more as I think you're different from the other girls, like he likes you or something." She mumbled shyly and fidgeted with her hands.

_No one gets close, no one gets hurt. _I chanted to myself and forced my lips to smirk. "I'm sure he liked them all too."

Bella's soft brown eyes pleaded with my cold, icy blue ones, "Aw, no Alice, that's not what I meant. I mean this isn't usual behaviour for Jasper. I shouldn't have said anything, shit. Jas is gonna be so pissed. Just forget I said anything."

A part of me wanted to hang her out to dry, let her dangle in the wind, teach her that people can be cruel, that the world is a cold, dark place and people could not be trusted. But, another part, a slightly larger part, wanted to protect Bella, to save her from the truth, shelter her from the cruelty and save her from having to see the world through my eyes.

"Forgotten." I mumbled passively and fixed the straps of the dress in the mirror. There was a knock on the door and it creaked open slowly.

"Ready ladies?" Jasper poked his head in the door, and his eyes lit up when he saw me. Bella nodded and grabbed her bag. I picked up my over-sized purse and followed them. Bella climbed in her car and I followed Jasper to his truck, half expecting him to tell me to ride with Bella.

_Not like I would have cared. _A strong voice chuckled inside me.

_Bullshit Alice. You can't fake it forever._ My conscience hissed as I absently opened my purse and let my fingers wrap around the neck of the bottle I'd grabbed last night.

_Wanna bet?_

"Jasper can you stop at the gas station up here, I need to get something." I pointed up the road with a deviant smile hinting towards my intentions. He complied and waited in the truck. I grabbed two small bottles of Coke and analyzed the cashier. It was a younger boy, maybe a year or too older than me. I took a few minutes to observe the sofa drinks and occasionally caught him checking me out. That was my go ahead. I discreetly pulled down the neck of my dress, fixing my cleavage before leaning over the counter, leaving my breasts perfectly on display. The poor boy scanned my drinks and punched the buttons on the register with shaky hands.

"And a pack of Marlboro's, regular please." I purred seductively and the boy looked around, making sure the store was empty before he grabbed a pack off the shift.

"Here you go lil lady." He grinned and handed me the bag with my drinks and cigarettes inside.

I laughed and waved bye flirtatiously while the boy ogled my ass. I hopped in the truck and pulled out a Coke, offering it to Jasper. "Want some?" He laughed and waved his hand dismissively.

He was about the start the engine when I stopped him, "Wait, just a second."

I hopped back out of the truck and started pouring the two bottles of Coke on the pavement. "Alice what the heck are you doing?" I had Jasper's voice coming through my open window. I ignored him and emptied each bottle a little more than half way. When I got back in the car I took the Bacardi from my purse and position the open bottles together before Jasper stopped me. "What are you doing?" His expression was curious but his eyes were tried with worry.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" I hissed and went back to mixing my drinks. Jasper sighed and waited until I was done before starting the truck. I took a refreshing swig of the Rum and Coke before smirking at my mixing skills.

Jasper parked the truck in one of the spots closest to the school. I was expecting him to ask me to get out at any moment before we turned into the parking lot, I was expecting him to park far way, so he wouldn't be seen with me, but this, this was totally unexpected.

_Probably wants everyone to know he's bangin' the new girl._ My conscience quipped smugly.

"Hey Whitlock." A voice shouted but I didn't turn to see it's owner. Jasper stopped walking, but I continued, taking my chance to get away from the spot light he attracts.

J POV

"Hey Whitlock." _Motherfucker. _I slapped on a fake smile and turned to greet James, who was running towards us, well me. I saw Alice walking away in my peripheral.

"S'up boy?" He mused with a shit eating grin while I slapped hands with him. "Props on bangin' fresh meat."

A smug smirk played on my lips and as much as I hated hearing James call Alice 'fresh meat', I knew I'd be a lot worse if James knew she was still fair game.

James and I have this rule, if you will, an unspoken code. Neither of us ever stick it to a chick the other has fucked first. He doesn't touch my leftovers out of pride, I don't touch his for health _reasons_. He can deny it all he will, but I still think the fuckers got an STD or two.

"Nice ass on that one, that's for sure." His eyes stalked Alice's figure as she headed to the building.

"You got no idea." I laughed, trying to play nice with James, but I was ready to rip his eyes right out of their sockets. "Anyways, see yeah around bitch." I slapped him on the back a little harder than necessary and ran off after Alice.

I got to English moments before the bell rang, Alice looked ready for her first period, drunken nap while Bella sat in my spot, talking Alice's ear off. I placed my hand gently on Bella's shoulder, letting her know I was here. She jumped up quickly muttered bye and went back to her seat.

"Hey Darlin', I lost yeah earlier." I laughed, trying to pull off a carefree attitude.

"Yeah…well, class." She muttered staring straight into her desk. The water bottle that she'd bought earlier was already half empty and by the looks of her lazy expression, she was wasted, again. I gave up on conversation after that, letting her take her usual nap while the teacher droned on about nothing important. I stole a few sips from her bottle while she slept, figuring she wouldn't really mind sharing since she seems to have had more than enough. I must say I was shocked at the amount she could drink for such a tiny girl. For such a small girl, she would give the Irish as run for their money in a drinking contest.

_Hmm, I wonder if she could out drink Jake…_He was after all, the school's original party boy. Keggers, beer bongs, quarters, chugging, shots, you name it, no one has ever beaten Jacob Black at a drinking game. Not even Emmett, and he's quite a bit bigger than Jake. Alice though, being only one third Jacob's size and a woman, would definitely get him to put his money where his mouth is.

_Maybe I should bring that up to her one day. I could make a good buck on that challenge, no one would see her coming. _

"Have a nice day." Mrs. Smith announce seconds before the bell rang. Alice didn't wake up though. I shook her shoulder gently, but she still didn't budge. So I did the only thing I could think of, I reached my hands around her waist and ran my fingers along the purple silky material. Alice jumped up, kicking her chair back in surprise, I couldn't help but break out in a fit of laughter. I had a feeling she would have ripped me a new one if there was anyone left in the classroom.

"What the fuck Jasper?" She snarled and looked quickly around the classroom before she calmed down.

"Oh calm down, you were asleep and I couldn't think of a more fun way to wake you up…well actually, that's not true… I can think of a few."

A POV

He moved closer to me, and I could see his eyes darken with desire. "Like what?" I purred as he pressed his body against mine, pushing me into the table, until I had to choice but to sit on it. He pushed my legs apart so he could stand between them as his lips brushed against my neck.

"I'd love to show you baby." He whispered before tracing his lips slowly along my neck, sending shivers throw my body.

_Or is that the liquor?_

His lips finally met mine with tremendous pressure, crashing into them with so much force I had to wrap my legs around his waist just to keep my balance. His arms snaked around my waist and his hands found comfort on my ass. I caught one quick glance at his eyes, they burned with lust and desire. My heart was pounding erratically as his tongue pushed through my closed lips forcefully. My hands twisted in his honey blonde hair, pulling him deeper into me as I bit down on his lip, causing him to let out a loud moan. His hands under my dress, pulling it until it was around my waist and then massaged at my panties. My breathing hitched and came in shallow pants but I forgot how to breathe all together when his hands slid lower and teased the edges of my panties. My lips still locked with him, I took his bottom lip into my mouth, sucking on it, so I couldn't moan too loudly as I rolled my hips into his. He released my lips suddenly, attacking my neck while my nails raked across his back. Nothing was going to stop us, nothing but the loud, obnoxious warning bell. Jasper pulled back abruptly and let me down, quickly but still gently. I fixed my hair and straighten my dress, pulling it down so it covered my lower body once more.

"Fuck baby, we got to get to science." He mumbled reluctantly and grabbed my hand, dragging me from the classroom, leaving me barely enough time to pack my stuff up. He pulled me into the science class just as the tardy bell rang, still gripping my hand tightly. I tried to pull away, but he wouldn't release my hand until I was sitting next to him. I set my stuff out on my desk and pulled out my drink.

_When did I finish this?_ I furrowed my brows as I tried to remember finishing the bottle. _Oh please, do you really think you would remember? _The voice in my head mocked.

I caught Jasper's expression in my peripheral, he had a smug smirk that gave it all away. "Did you…?" I whispered as the teacher began to speak.

_Wouldn't I have tasted it, if he had?_ I tried to remember how this lips tasted, like spearmint, coffee, tobacco -_yet I've never seen him smoke…maybe that was me. _and Coke.

_Bastard. _

"You seemed to have had enough." He mused with a cocky smile and a triumphant sparkle in his eyes.

"Don't you dare tell me I've had enough." I hissed and shoved my books in my purse. "Fuck you." I kicked my chair back violently and stood up, stomping to the door.

"Miss Brandon, where are you going?" Mr. Petersburg asked in a stern warning tone.

"I said I wanted to work alone." I snapped at him and turned back to the door. "I'll be at the fucking office." I said loudly, earning a unified gasp from the other students, and slammed the door behind me.

_Fuck that, fuck him. He doesn't have the right. _I stormed into central office, causing the secretary, Esme, to jump back in shock.

"Mr. Cullen will be right with you. Mr. Petersburg already called me, have a seat on the bench." Esme said with a formal, yet sympathetic tone.

I plopped down on the bench, raking my fingers through my hair, trying to calm my shaking nerves. Mr. Cullen came out moments later, sighed and motioned for me to follow him. I took the same seat across from his desk and waited for him to speak.

Instead he let out a long exaggerated sigh and shook his head. "I really, _really_ shouldn't have to be telling you this, but I just don't know what else to say.-" He paused and took a deep breath, "You cannot swear in class, at your teacher or your fellow classmates. You cannot walk out of class. You cannot slam the classroom door and you definitely cannot hit your fellow classmates. If there is a problem Alice, that's what I'm here for, it's my job to deal with these problems, you just have to report them."

I gawked at him for a moment before I finally found my words, "Uh, That's why I'm here. Duh. That's why I came here instead of just hitting the son of a bitch and saving myself the hassle." I stood up abruptly in a black rage and tried to leave. Mr. Cullen's hand landed gently on my shoulder and he turned me to face him.

"We are not finished here, young lady. We still must discuss consequences… Alice have you been drinking?"

"Uh. N-No." I stammered and realised I'd make a horrible actor.

He rolled his eyes and pursed his lips into a thin line, "Alice, I can smell it on you. You've been drinking."

"No I haven't. I spilt some alcohol on my dress last night when I was drinking with some friends but I haven't been drinking today." I pretended to be insulted by his accusations and he rolled his eyes again.

"Alright Miss Brandon. Just know that this is your last leg. If there are any more incidents I will be forced to suspend you for a week." I nodded politely and headed for the door. My fingers wrapped around the door handle when I heard Mr. Cullen's voice once more, "Oh and Alice, you cannot drink in class." I turned and I swear I saw him smirking for a brief second before he returned his serious expression.

"Miss Brandon, you may sit on the bench until the bell rings or if you'd prefer to go to the library to work on your science handout." Esme smiled at me politely but something told me her offer was sneaky and I should accept it.

"Library please." I smiled, almost grinned as she wrote up a slip for me. I shoved my slip in my purse and my fingers brushed against my Marlboro's. _Hell yes._

I looked around before I ducked outside, lit a cigarette and found an empty picnic table. I pulled my tattered old copy of Go Ask Alice from my purse and flipped to a random page and started reading. I'd read it so many times I could flip to any page and instantly remember what's happening. I knew it better than the back of my hand.

_Hell, you probably know this Alice better than yourself. _

"Hey Gorgeous, what'cha reading?" A voice drawled lazily next to me. When I turned to find the owner, I almost bumped noses with James before I moved away, slightly uncomfortable.

"Go Ask Alice, you ditchin' class too?" I laughed, trying to ignore the bad taste he left in my mouth and the uneasy feeling I got when James was around.

"Didn't I? and of course I am. I had English." He chuckled but his question was serious, which earned a fit of laughter from me.

"No, the book silly. It's called Go Ask Alice." I couldn't help it, I had to laugh again at his dumb question.

He nodded like he finally understood something profound, "What's it about?"

"Well, it's the diary of a young girl who became addicted to drugs." I took a sip of my Coke then a long drag of my almost finished cigarette.

James rested his hand on my bare knee, I tensed but took another sip and tried to relax myself.

_He doesn't mean anything by it. Friendly gesture, friendly gesture, friendly gesture. _I repeated to myself, but I knew it was a lie. I knew I should run but I was too tired for that now, I couldn't be bother to care anymore. "You know you are much too beautiful to be hanging around the likes of Whitlock."

His hand moved higher up my leg, I slid my body further down the bench, trying to put some distance between us, but his hand tightened on my leg and he held me there. His grip was so strong and forceful, I knew he'd leave a bruise, a mark, his signature.

"Get your hand off my leg, _now._" I growled and my body began pulsing with anger. I ground my teeth, trying to relieve some of this rage, but it was no good. His arrogant smirk set me off, and my fist collided with his lip.

"Damn honey, that is indeed some right hook you got there." He chuckled darkly and slid closer to me, pressing himself to me. Before I could say anything, James was being dragged off the bench from behind and shoved to the ground.

"If you think that's impressive, you should see mine." Edward growled as his fist connected with James's face, over and over again. James only landed one hit on Edward before he shoved Edward away and took off in the opposite direction.

"You okay?" Edward's hands wrapped around my waist as he looked into my eyes, probably gauging my reaction. When I nodded, he pulled me into a tight hug, just like his girlfriend did earlier.

"Thank you." I muttered reluctantly, but I was grateful.

"Hey Ali…have you been drinking?" Edward let go of me and raised an eyebrow.

"Yup." I chirped and took another swig to emphasis a point.

_What, that you're an alcoholic? Yeah, I'm pretty sure you've make that point blatantly clear._

I downed a little more to shut that annoying voice up.

"It's not even lunch time Alice." Edward brows narrowed as he assessed my sanity.

"Don't worry. I'll remember to switch to dark liquor after lunch." I mused darkly and only then did I notice Edward's lip was bleeding. "Shit, are you okay Edward, your lips bleeding."

"Yeah, gimme that." He hissed and grabbed the bottle from my hands, unscrewing the cap and taking a rather large gulp. "Much better." He laughed and handed it back to me before looking me up and down, flashing his crocked smirk. "Nice dress."

I looked down at my clothes and it took me a moment to figure out what he meant. "Oh shit, yeah."

"See didn't I tell you, you and Bells would be friends…So, should I ask?" He chimed with a wicked smile.

"Stayed over, didn't have any clothes, so Bella loan me some." I shrugged and tried to ignore his bewildered expression.

"Didn't Jasper drive you home this morning?" He asked after he recollected his jaw from the ground. I shook my head and he stared at me like I had a second head or something.

I decided a nice change of subject was in order, considering, I'd had this speech one too much times today. "So, is Bella like Jasper's sister? 'Cause I never would've guessed." I didn't realise I was curious about Jasper until it was too late and I accidentally blurted out the question.

Edward's chuckled and took a seat on the picnic bench, "No cousins. Bella came to live with Jasper's family a few years ago.-" He paused and let out a shaky sigh before meeting my eyes with a sober expression, "-Bella doesn't like to talk about it, but I feel like you should know, like for some reason Alice, you might be able to understand. Bella's father was shot and killed in the line of duty. He was chief of Police in Port Angelus and was following a lead on some kidnappings when it happened. Charlie, her father, gave his life to break up a prostitution crime ring. These gang members were kidnapping young women, getting them addicted to heroine and forcing them to work off their debt by prostitution." His features wrinkled in disgust as he described the events.

"Her mother?" I asked, suddenly becoming more and more intrigued by the girl who wears her heart on her sleeve.

"Her mother left when Bella was a baby. They tracked her down after the shooting, but she wanted nothing to do with Bella." Edward seemed to grow angry at this, his fists balled together as I could feel the rage rolling off his figure, plaguing the atmosphere. "You know why I said you and Bella would be friends Alice?-" He paused so I could shake my head, even though his question was rhetorical. "-I can see it in your eyes, it's the same darkness I saw in Bella's when she first moved here. I wont ask you your story, partly because I probably cannot relate nor understand, but Bella might be able to. Bella attracts a certain type of people."

I cut him in anger and snapped, "What? The broken type?" I sneered venomously, grinding my teeth to relieve the building rage I felt only moments ago with James.

"Well, I wouldn't say broken, per say, but lost." He ignored my venom and replied with a calm, controlled tone.

"No Edward. I am not lost. I am broken. There is a difference. It's easier to search for something that is lost than it is to pick up and resemble something that is broken beyond repair." My voice was shaky, I'd repeated it over and over in my mind but that didn't compare to saying it out loud. Once I'd said it, it made it true. It couldn't ignore the fact once I'd said the words, reality sunk in.

"You know Bella's father didn't die right there. He took nine bullets, and died in the hospital that night, in Bella's arms." Edward whispered, half angry, but half reassuring.

"You know what Edward, at least he fought and he held on until he couldn't anymore. At least she could tell him that she loved him one more time, and he could tell her. At least he fucking wanted to stay with her!" I screamed shaky with anger.

_How dare he compare our stories. They are not the same, Bella's father actually wanted to stay with her._

My eyes started to swell with all the tears I'd never cried. I tried to blink them away but they fought, threatening to break the barrier I'd built.

I grabbed my boozes, and drowned all the under shed tears, the heart wrenching emotions and the guilt with one numbing swig.

"Alice, I don't want to hear your story.-" He sighed and rubbed his temples, "-Not today Alice. If you want to tell me one day, I'll be here for you, but not today. You're angry and if you tell me, I know you'll end up regretting it tomorrow."

I was stunned at his persistent, instead of begging me to trust them, to tell them, like most people do, Edward was actually begging me not to tell him and he was right, I would regret telling him out of anger.

"Thank you." I mumbled weakly with a sheepish, remorseful smile.

"You might not believe me, but I'll be here when you're ready to talk about it. Even if you try to push me away, I'll be here tomorrow Alice, and the next day, and the next. I'll be here for you."

He was right, I didn't believe him, but I was too exhausted to argue, so I just nodded weakly.

After a few moments of silence, Edward spoke up with a light and friendly voice. "So now I doubt you and Bells were having a sleepover, so what's up with you and Whitlock?"

He nudged me playfully, but I shrugged causally, trying not to let my hatred show, "He came by my house in the middle of the night, because he wanted to hang out. So we chilled in the park, before we went back to his place and passed out."

He cocked an eyebrow, asking me if there was something more, I shook my head and sighed because I knew I wasn't getting off that easily. "He drove me to school this morning because we didn't fuck, or screw around or anything."

Edward nodded but pursed his lips, obviously trying to assess the situation, "That's out of character for him."

All I could do was roll my eyes and chuckle darkly, "I already had this conversation with Bella. I'm sure she'll tell you about it."

I watched him furrow his brows as a puzzled expression played on his features, "I doubt it, she would have already told me this morning. Bella is fiercely loyal, if she feels something is a secret, she'll take it to her grave."

I faked a smile and tried to stifle my dark, mocking laughter. _No one is that loyal. She probably didn't tell him because it wasn't important. I'm probably just another one of her cousin's whores, to her. _

"Go Ask Alice Eh?" I was so deep in thought, hadn't realised he'd picked up my book and started analyzing it. "It's a good book that's for sure. Don't tell anyone, but I got a little misty eyed at the end. I was secretly rutting for her, hoping she'd make it." His voice seemed casual enough, but his eyes held a cryptic, second meaning.

"Yeah well, it's a dose of reality. Not all of us do." I muttered passively, letting him know I caught the meaning of his statement.

"Personally, I think she gave up. I've always thought that drug overdose can never be an accident. It's a choice, a slow masochistic means of suicide." He laughed but it was plagued with a dark sadness.

"I think she struggled long enough." I snapped and my tiny hands balled in fists. He jumped back a little at my reaction, so I slowly counted to ten, then lit a smoke to calm myself.

"I think she was lost, and gave up on finding herself, and that's when she broke." Edward stated, not even bothering to hide his statement behind his interpretation of the book.

"Good bye Edward." I said firmly and it sounded more like a 'fuck off Edward' than anything else. I gathered my things and took off in the direction of the school. I half expected him to follow me, even though it would have only made the matter worse, its what most people would have done. I guess Edward isn't most people then, because I walked into the school undisturbed.

In all the commotion, I forgot to ask Edward how he found me. I puzzled the question as I took a seat in the back of the library and spread my books across the table, minutes before the bell rang.

I made my way to History, where my eyes instantly landed on Emmett, who was sitting at our usual table, saving my seat.

"Sup Big Poppa?" I chirped as I pulled my chair out to sit.

"Ain't much goin' down in this here parts Sun. You?" He nodded his head firmly once to confirm his statement, or to greet me, I wasn't sure.

"Same old same." I muttered and scattered my stuff across the table so it looked like I was working. I noticed two dark haired girls come in and take seats at the table in front of us, before turning around to greet Emmett.

"Sup Hoes?" Emmett announced while they giggled as if he'd said something flattering.

"How did Rosie's meeting go? Is she back today?" The darker skinned, native American one asked, while they both shot a unified glare at me.

"Ch'yeah, she's back." Emmett mumbled quietly, obviously trying to keep this information from me. Both girls turned to stare at me for a moment, waiting for me to do something, flinch, grimace, anything that showed fear, but instead I just shrugged.

"I'd watch myself." The Latin looking girl muttered passively.

I shot her a wicked smirk and chuckled darkly, "If that's supposed to be a threat, then yes, if I were_ you_, I _would_ watch my back." I emphasised while looking her in the eye. She flinched and broken eye contact me with before they huffed in unison and turned around.

"Who the fuck are they?" I hissed at Emmett whose cheeks were slowly turning pink.

"Leah and Maria, they're some of Rosie's hoes." He mumbled quietly so they bitches wouldn't hear our conversation.

"Emmett, tell you're _lady_ that if her and her hoes don't back off, I'll give them a reason to." I snarled under my breath, looking him dead in the eye to make sure he understood.

"I can't make Rosie do anything she don't want to do. Sorry Sun, but she's one helluva stubborn lady." His usual gangster lingo faded as he spoke seriously, grimacing as he knew she was probably tripping hardcore.

"Ight Big, well I ain't gonna sit back and take shit from no one." I folded my arms across my chest and sat back firmly in my chair.

"Sorry Sun. Ain't nothing a brotha can do, bitches be crazy but don't be hatin' on a brotha for his hoe?" It may have sounded like an order, I knew he was actually asking not to be mad at him, so I chuckled and let out a small smile.

"I ain't gonna be hatin' on a homeboy 'cause his lady act a fool dawg." Before Emmett could reply, the teacher got up and started yammering away about some unimportant events of the past. I zoned out and went to sleep on my desk, I could really care less about this class. I loved history, but not when its told to me with biases, and not my own. Amnesia would be the best gift I could ever receive, having no past at all would be better than having mine. Having nothing but blankness to haunt me, would be better than having my demons, my memories every night.

_I'm sitting in the furthest dark corner of my closet, the door is close, I'm surrounded but darkness. But not the silent darkness I was searching for. There shouting again, and even though I'm only twelve, I know what heroin is, I know what cocaine is, I know what crystal meth is. I know in my heart I shouldn't know these things at my age. No one else in my class does but than again, no one else hides in their closet at night. No one else sleeps in their closet, hoping he'll give up once he see the empty bed. He never does though. The shouting stops, a moment of silence processed it, like the calm before a storm and then, my ears are filled with the sound of glass shattering. Not a low quick sound, like someone had dropped a glass, but a large, painful noise, like someone had smashed a mirror on the floor. Amides the shattering I hear the distinct, piercing scream of my mother, my heart stops. He promised. He promised he wouldn't hurt her anymore. He promised that if I let him do those things to me, he wouldn't hurt her. He'd punish me instead, but he'd leave mommy alone. I blind back tears as I hear his loud, booming foot steps on the stair case. I hear the front door close, I hear my door open. _

"_Mary Alice, come out, come out where ever you are." He chants as he stalks around my room. The foot steps pause in front of the closet, the light blinds me. He grabs my foot and drags my body from the corner and I know what happens next. SMACK._

I jumped out of my seat, startled by that obnoxious bell.

"Alice, are you okay?" Emmett's voice was soft, not a hint of his usual gangster talk. He stared at me with furrowed brows and concerned eyes.

"Yeah, fine. Why?" I muttered quickly, avoiding his gaze and packing up my books.

"You're crying." He stated, still staring. I touched my cheek and felt the warm moisture on my fingers. _Shit._

"No I'm fine. My eyes water when I get sleepy." I faked a heartfelt laugh and threw my purse over my shoulder, following Emmett from the classroom. I was slightly grateful though, today's memory wasn't a screamer, but a crier. I wouldn't have been able to play it off if I'd screamed in class. I ducked outside for a cigarette and my eyes instantly trailed to the parking lot, were I saw Jasper waiting by his truck. I quickly rushed around the corner, hoping he hadn't seen me. I stayed there the whole lunch, occasionally peeking at the parking lot to see if Jasper had left yet. When he finally left, I made my way to Spanish class a few minutes early to get a good seat. I took a seat in the back against the wall as usual. When the first bell rang, kids started to fill in like the cattle they are. A large native American boy grabbed the seat beside me, who I instantly recognised as the class clown. Three of his oversized friends took the table in front of us, dragging another chair in so they'd all fit. They turned they're chairs around so they were all sitting around our table. I took a nice big swig and hoped I'd be drunk enough to pass out soon. I quickly learned that was going to be a challenge since these boys never seemed to stop joking and playfully pushing each other around. The one that sat at the corner of the long table pushed the boy next to me, whose name I never bother to learn, into me.

"Fucking watch it." I snarled at the boy who had pushed him, not the boy who bumped me. I knew it wasn't his fault.

But he apologised anyways, "Sorry about that." He mumbled with a small, sheepish smile. "I'm Jake, by the way. That's Sam, Paul, and Jared." He pointed each one out as they waved or smiled at me.

"Uh huh." I muttered disengaged and turned back to my drinking.

"So Whitlock,-" My ears perked up, "-tells me he met a chick that could totally whop your ass at drinking." The one he pointed out as Sam announced with a provoking laugh.

"Ain't no way a fucking woman could out drink me." Jacob said sternly but as if it were the simplest logic known to man.

_Holy crap. That's me._ My eyes widened at the realisation.

I shot up out of my seat, grabbing my bottle on my purse, but leaving my books behind before I asked to be excused with the hall pass. I quickly checked to make sure the coast was clear before ducking outside to get my nicotine fix.

Just as I was in the process of lighting my cigarette, a firm hand landed on my shoulder and I spun around.

_Oh Fuck._

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**Like it, love it or hate it? Let me know...**


	5. Friends, Foes, Fucks and Fights

**Disclaimer: Disclaiming all but the plot. I can atleast keep the plot, right?**

**Hello loyal readers and reviewers, you guys rock.**

**I'm getting bored of this story, 'cause I already know/written how its going to end. So, its like re-reading a book, never as thrilling as the first read.**

**BUT, because you guys rock, I will finish posting this story. I have other things on my plate right now, (college life, another kick-ass story ect.) so if I forget to update, just remind me.**

**If my updating becomes none existant, I will probably just post all the rest of the chapters and be done with it.**

**Kay, so now that the formal stuff is out of the way, I need help. (The kick-ass story previously mentioned) Can I write a story in the third person? Or do you guys prefere POVs like me? 'Cause I started one in the third person, and I was thinking of only doing the intro that way, and the rest in POVs but soon realized how much easier it is to write in the third person. Anyways, what do you guys think, you're the readers not me? **

**And as always, ENJOY.**

**xo**

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A POV

"Jesus Christ Miss Brandon. Not again." Mr. Cullen whined in defeat and grimaced. "Last goddamn warning." He grabbed the cigarette that was loosely hanging from my bottom lip and tossed it on the ground before pointing at the door. "Office. Sit there until the bell rings."

"Can I at least get my stuff?" I muttered weakly as I bit my lip because I knew I was pushing my luck.

"Now." He shouted with his index finger still firmly pointed at the door. I sighed, defeated and rushed to the door.

The time passed at the office slowly, when the bell rang I had barely enough time to collect my things from Spanish and hurry to Math. I sat down in the last available seat and cringed when I realised who I was next to.

_Rosalie mother fucking Hale. Goddamnit all to hell. _

She smirked wickedly at me, no doubt plotting her revenge.

"Hi new girl." She mocked with a devilish, manipulative tone.

"Fuck you." I hissed and turned back to the teacher's lecture. Just then though, I felt a burst a wind followed by something landing square in my jaw.

"Bitch." I growled and pounced, kicked back both chairs and knocking Rosalie to the floor. I landed on top of her, hitting her right between the eyes as she grabbed fist fulls of my hair, yanking it violently. Everyone was panicking but all I could focus on was the bitch in front of me. Suddenly though, I was being pulled off Rosalie's growling figure and dragged from the classroom. Once I was out in the hall, I realised it was one of the schools guards who was pulling me along. I ended up in a familiar place, Mr. Cullen's office.

"Goddamnit Alice, what did I say?" He screamed, shaking with anger, "Six days. Go get your stuff and I'm phoning home. I want you out of this school, NOW." He shouted and pointed to the hallway. "John, take her to get her stuff and escort her from the property." He was livid, his features pulsing red with anger. I didn't bother arguing, I just followed John back to Math class and collected my things.

Dad wasn't home when I got there, I considered deleting Principal Cullen's message, but Dad would figure it out sooner or later, so I just locked myself in my room and waited for him to get home.

J POV

By last hour the student body was chaotic, rumours and accusations were swirling and swarming the hallways. As I made my way to last period Spanish I was stopped on more then one occasion by random people asking about Alice. When I finally pushed through, and ignored half the student body, I took my usual seat with Bella and Emmett. Mike, Maria and Leah took the table in front of us and immediately turned their chairs, so we could all sit in a group, as usual.

"... Well I heard she just attacked Rosie out of no where." Leah continued, obviously finishing a conversation she was having with Maria before they stay down.

"How is Rosie, Emmett?" Maria batted her eyelashes and pretended she cared.

"Fine." Emmett muttered reluctantly and looked away, probably not wanting to get involved.

"Dude. It was insane, like she took a seat next to Rose and just randomly started hitting her." Mike declared with a bewildered expression.

"You were there?" Leah and Maria gasped in unison. Bella and I had yet to contribute to the conversation, she was probably feeling as awkward as I was.

"You know that's not how it happened Mike." Angela Weber groaned as she pulled a free chair up to our table. "You saw, as well as I did. Rosalie hit her first."

Mike slouched a little as Angie made a liar out of him. Four pairs of eyes all went from Angie, to Mike then landed on Emmett, as he shrugged his massive shoulders. "Sun knew Rosie gone act a fool up in this bitch. I been snitching, tell a home girl to watch her back, you dig?" All six of us shook our heads and stared at Emmett as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "I been sayin' in History to ma home girl Alice, that Rosie be trippin'. Bitches be crazy." He tried harder to make us understand, but it was almost impossible to figure out want he was saying, so we continued to stare. "Angie be telling the truth muthafuckas, but I'd been telling Alice that this shit would be going down up in here." He said each word slowly, so he wouldn't have to repeat it a fourth time.

"Whatever, I still think she's fucking psychotic, Jazzy you should be careful." Maria purred with a suggestive smile. Before I could say anything though, there was a low growl from Bella. I turned to see her body tense and her eyes lock on Maria as if she were about to destroy the girl.

"Don't be hatin' Mari, Alice be ma homie. So don't you be trippin' on her too." Emmett tried to calm the situation but his voice was tired, and it was apparent he'd had enough of this conversation.

"I'm just saying, I mean you heard her threatening me in History earlier." Maria whined and I swear their was a unified shrug from everyone at the table, expect for Mike, who gasped, pretending he was shocked and appalled.

My prayers where answered when the final bell rang. I couldn't wait to escape Maria and Leah droning on and on about how crazy-insane-fucked-in-the-head Alice must be.

I waited for Bella to finish gathering her stuff and walked with her to the parking lot, in an unusual silence. Bella walked faster than normal today, her eyes locked on something by the cars. I figured it must be Eddie and shrugged it off until we got closer and I noticed the sun reflecting off platinum blonde locks. _Uh Oh. _

B POV

"Hey Hale." I shouted viciously. Rosalie and I have never really gotten along. In the past year or so we learned to play nice with each other, but we never really liked one another.

"What do you want Swan?" She muttered mockingly and rolled her eyes.

"Stay the fuck away from Alice, you two bit trap." I growled as my hands balled into fists, preparing to collided with Rosalie's new nose.

"What are you talking about? You're precious new girl attacked me." Rosalie said innocently with a devilish smirk.

"Drop the act Hale. We all know how it went down. I'd back off if I were you, unless you want new teeth to go with that new nose of yours." I hissed and Jasper's hand grasped under my arm. He tried to pull me away, muttering 'She's not worth it B' over and over but I shook his hand off and stood my ground.

"Is that a threat Isabella, because I believe you know the laws as well as I do."

_She did not just bring him into this._

I snapped, I lunged towards Rosalie, ready to claw her damn eyes out but I was suddenly winded and pulled back. I turned, expecting to see Jasper but when I did, he was frozen in spot and Emmett had his arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me into him.

"That's enough Rosalie." Emmett shouted the order very, _very_ clearly. He was fed up, pissed off and insulted by Rosalie's actions, that much was clear. He let me down once I'd stopped struggling against him and Jasper grabbed my arm again, this time I let him drag me from the parking lot. I sat in Jasper's truck, trying to calm myself so I could drive. We sat in eerie silence, so I knew Jasper must be fuming, otherwise he would have said something by now. When I'd finally began to control myself I went to my car without uttering one word to Jasper, he didn't say anything either. I drove around in circles until I had had enough. I needed to see Edward. He'd left at lunch today, didn't even say bye to me, but merely sent me a text message saying he was home and he didn't feel up to hanging out tonight. I understood, but now, I need him, and I'm sure he'll understand. I pulled into the driveway and parked my old pick up truck next to his shiny silver Volvo. Every time I did so, I always had the same thought.

_Why is he with a rusty old pickup truck, when clearly he deserves a shiny new Volvo?_

I pushed the thought out of my mind after reminding myself what Edward had said, 'You can be such a moron Bella. Who would want a plastic, shiny, expensive car when they could have a classic, strong and most of all, a real one?'

I didn't bother with the door bell, Mr. and Mrs. Masen's cars were gone, so I doubt they were home from work.

"Hey Eddie." I shouted as I kicked my shoes off. There was a rather loud thud before I heard him on the stairs.

"Bella what are you doing here?" He called from the top of the stairs and I followed his voice.

"I needed to see you, some stuff went down and…Edward, what the fuck happened to your lip?"

_That asshole._ I mentally screamed as he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. This wasn't the first time he'd hid from me after a fight. It happened multiple times last year, he would fight with Jacob routinely, but after his fight with Riley, that almost got him expel, I made him promise me he wasn't going to fight anymore. He would always come home and tell me he was too tired to hang out, thinking I wouldn't find out about it.

"Bella I can explain." He muttered as his cheeks turned a deep red.

"There better be a damn good reason Edward." I barked while he came down the steps and followed me into the living room, sitting next to me on the couch.

He sighed and fidgeted with his hands, "This morning Alice stormed out of class, I think it was something to do with Jas because he was about to go after her, but I stopped him and offered to go instead. I asked Esme at the office and she directed me to the library, but when I realised Alice wasn't there, I went outside to look for her. I got outside just in time to hear her screaming then I saw her punching James square in the jaw. He started pushing against her more so I pulled him off of her and completely lost it."

I gasped and covered my mouth with my hands, "Does Jas know?"

His eye brows shot up and he gave me the 'are you crazy' look. "The hell he does. James is still breathing."

"Are you in trouble?" I muttered, knowing I probably was, no doubt Rosalie would put up a stink about what happened in the parking lot.

"I'll know tomorrow morning." He mumbled sheepishly, but his weak smile quickly turned smug when he noticed my nervousness.

"Jas phoned, said you probably be around, he filled me in."

"Good."

A POV

"Mary Alice Brandon. What the hell were you thinking? Getting into a fight in the classroom?" My father shouted at the top of his lungs. I shrugged and waited for him to look at me before I rolled my eyes.

"Two actually." I corrected which caused his face to become even redder, if possible.

"This isn't funny Alice. You need to change your attitude." He sat down on the couch and ran this fingers through his thinning hair.

"Oh, am I stressing you out? Sorry, I forgot you don't have any experience raising kids." I mused darkly, making sure each word was another dagger.

"I just don't know what to do with you Alice." He shook his head, ignoring my previous comment, "I just don't know what to say."

I wouldn't be ignored that easily. "Well, generally you would say, 'I raised you better than that' but oh yeah right, you let him raise me instead. You could say 'you were taught to use your words, not your fists' but again, that's a lie. You could say 'I'm your parent, so don't talk that way to me' but again, you never wanted to be."

"Now that's not true Alice. No matter what, I am still you father." His voice was firm, but the weakness was so clear. "Your grounded for sneaking out last night and for getting yourself in trouble with the school. Now get out of my sight before I ground you for longer."

My jaw dropped, "The hell I am. I'm seventeen, it's a little too late to start being a father to me now. You don't have the right to ground me, you lost that right and all others when you left us." I screamed and didn't miss the pain that flickered in his eyes before I stormed from the room, slamming my bedroom door.

I laid my head on my pillow and drifted off into a drunken slumber.

J POV

"Mr. Whitlock, Miss Swan, please take you're things and John is waiting to escort you to the office." Mrs. Smith said right after she was interrupted mid-lecture by a knock on the door. I did as she asked without so much as a word. Bella on the other hand, groan and mutter, "What the fuck is it now?" as soon as we where out of the classroom. John smirked for a brief second before he could recompose his business face. "You tell me Miss Swan, I've been to almost every class room this morning."

I furrowed my brows and tried to figure out what he meant by that. He led us into Principal Cullen's office and I found my answer. There was four extra chairs in front of his desk and four bodies filling them. Bella and I took the remaining seats and we all glanced at each other.

_James, Rosalie, Emmett, Edward, Bella and I, Mr. Cullen had a full house today._

"I don't even know what to say. You've all been warned before. Normally I would talk to each of you individually, but since you all seem to be fight amongst each other, this seems fitting." He grumbled and sat down across the large desk from us. "I've already phoned home, each of you gets a six day suspension, effective immediately and you are all to be present for a meeting upon your return next week with you're parents. I'm done. I have nothing more to say."

"Hey Sir, that shit ain't chill, I ain't done nothing." Emmett whined with a disgusted expression.

"I don't want to hear it Emmett. Bella, Rosalie, Jasper and yourself were all involved in the incident that occurred after school yesterday." He stated with an irritated tone. "Miss Hale, Mr. Masen, consider yourselves lucky, along with Miss Brandon, your getting one last chance but this is the last straw, if it happens again, consider yourselves expelled."

"But Sir!-" Rosalie stood up and shrieked, "-I reported the incident!"

"Sit down Miss Hale. I'm aware of that, but you seem to be the center of _a lot_ of fist fights lately."

"Technically, their were no fists involved yesterday." Bella smirked arrogantly at the principal.

"I don't care Miss Swan. The six of you, along with Miss Brandon have all been suspended. I don't care who did what or who didn't do what. The fighting cannot go on. Guilty by association."

Everyone groaned or cursed under their breath as John escorted our group to the locker area then out to the parking lot.

"I say we spring Sun from lock up and kicked OG at La push, you mofos down?" Emmett boomed with a deviant grin.

Everyone nodded in agreement, expect for James who was slowly backing to his car. "Actually, I should get going." He called and jumped in his car, quickly starting it and tarring out of the lot.

"Bells, you, Eddie, and Jasper go spring Sun from the pen. Me and my lady will be chillin' by da sea."

Bella and Eddie climbed into my truck and we started down the road, I didn't turn on Alice's road though, I continued on to my place. I knew my parent's wouldn't be home, and all I'd have to do was delete the message Mr. Cullen left on the answering machine. Then my parents wouldn't even know about the suspension until the meeting. Then they can continued on not knowing Bella or I existed for six more days.

"Wait here." I muttered and left the car running. I deleted the message without even listening to it and went back to the truck, quickly explained to Bella and listened to her prise my intelligence.

I killed the engine and we sat there for a moment, trying to mentally tell the other to go knock.

"Rock, Paper, Scissors?" I broke the silence and Eddie nodded.

"Idiots." Bella shook her head in amusement. "There's three of us."

"Well don't look at me, last thing she said to me was 'fuck you'." I grimaced at the memory.

"Pretty much same here." Eddie muttered and Bella pushed him out of the truck, sauntering to the door.

A POV

"Hello?" A voice called from the other room.

_Who the fuck…?_ I crawled off my bed and pulled on my silky housecoat. I followed the voice to find the owner in the doorframe.

"Bella?" I muttered as the hangover started playing tricks on me.

"Get dress, were going to the beach, which ones your room?" She already started dragging me down the hall. I pointed at my room and she dragged me in, pausing at my wardrobe.

After what felt like eternity, Bella had found my bikinis, picked one out, and forced an outfit on me.

"Feel like drinkin' today?" I muttered and chuckled darkly at my inside joke.

_You're the joke Alice._

Bella nodded with a huge smile, "What do you have?"

"It's more like what do you want." I dropped onto my belly and looked under my bed. Bella shrugged her shoulders, so I pulled a random bottle out.

_Tanqueray._ I smile spread across my lips as I imagined the smooth yet fiery taste of my favourite gin. Bella excused herself to the washroom and I pulled out bottle after bottle, shoving them in my purse.

I ended up with a bottle of Grey Goose, Jack Daniels, Tanqueray, Patron, Hennessey and Bacardi. My beach bag clinked as I walked and met Bella in the hallway. I followed her out, locking the door behind me and froze when my eyes landed on the black pick up truck, idling patiently in the drive way.

"Fuck that. No way." I hissed but Bella's hand grasped my arm and she tried pulling me. When I pulled away Bella glared coldly at me.

Then she finally snapped, "Alice. Get your little butt in that truck. I don't care whatever happened with you and Jazzy. I want to hang out. You're the reason we're all here. So get in the truck." She nodded once in confirmation.

"Uh,-" I croaked as she dragged me to the car and opened the door. Edward jumped out and held the door for me, as I cursed under my breath and climbed in.

"Hey Darlin'." Jasper drawled, looking me up and down lazily. I flipped him off and ignored him the whole drive. Bella and Edward bickered the whole drive, teasing and joking sweetly. Their love was so blatantly obvious, it was painful. We arrived at the beach and my eyes instantly feel on another lovey-dovey couple, holding each other on the beach. I mentally gagged at their show of affection.

_Holy shit, is that…_ "What the fuck is she doing here?" I shrieked when I realised it was Rosalie and Emmett. No one answered me, they all just got out of the car and headed to the others.

_Is this some sick joke? Their idea of amusement? Lets watch the new girl fight with the rich aloud mouth bitch again. _

"What the fuck is she doing here?" Rosalie hissed loudly and pointed at me.

"Grow up." Bella muttered with an exasperated tone. "Emmett invited her, remember?"

Rosalie's eyes went blank as she looked to Emmett for help, but he nodded reluctantly.

"Em, I'm scared. What if she attacks me again?" Rosalie whined and hid herself behind Emmett's shoulder.

"For-fuck-sakes Hale, cut the shit. We all know what happened. Drop the damn act." My eyes nearly bugged out of my head when I hear Bella cussing.

"Shit ladies, word to Bells. Y'all is straight up trippin'. Gonna be drivin' a G insane." Emmett bellowed furiously before turned to Rosalie, and placing both hands lightly but firmly on her shoulders, "Rosie baby, you know you ma number one gal but Alice be ma home girl. For me baby doll."

Rosalie let out a long, exaggerated sigh, "Fine." She mumbled in defeat. "Truce?"

I nodded curtly but I knew I still had to be careful, not turn my back on this girl for a second.

"So you guys skipping or something?" I murmured after a long awkward silence. I scanned the circle catching each one shaking their head.

"We're all suspended for the week." Edward answered, pursing his lips as his eyes flooded with questions and concern.

"What happened? I mean, I know why you and Rosalie are suspended but…" I trailed off looking to Bella and Emmett but avoiding Jasper's eyes.

"Yesterday Rosalie and I got into after school. Jasper and Emmett were suspended for association." Bella winced at the last word, no doubt blaming herself for something or another.

"Oh." I muttered and placed my beach bag full of liquor on the ground. The bottles clanked and four paired of eyes shot in my direction.

"Damn home girl got da juice." Emmett announced with a foolish grin, while the others stared at him with questioning expressions.

"You know it Big Poppa." I laughed but had a funny feeling Rosalie wouldn't like my nickname for her man.

I was right, she glared at me viciously before snapping, "What did you call him?" No one could mistake the venom in her tone.

"Shot baby. As in Notorious. East coast muthafucka." Again Emmett was met with confused eyes, each pair, I believe held concern for his sanity.

"West side when we ride come equipped with game." I sang out but was cut off but Rosalie's snarl.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Her tone was fed up and slightly puzzled.

I sighed in irritation at her lack of urban rap knowledge, "Big Poppa, as in Biggie Smalls, as in Notorious B.I.G, as in Biggie, the dead rapper from the east coast."

Emmett raised his index finger to his forehead before pointing to each side of his chest than naval, making a cross. "Rest in peace, Big Poppa."

There was a unified eye rolling directed towards Emmett, but he ignored it and turned his attention back to me. "So what we gonna be cruckin' on today Sun?"

"Shit Big, you'll see." I chuckled and pulled out my towel. I swear the past two weeks I've been in Forks, the weather has not been cooperating with my mood.

_Rainiest place in the continual US, my ass. _

It's the middle of October, and its freakishly hot out. It's almost winter for Christ sakes, and everyone's been running around in shorts and dresses.

_Oh well, Global warming, I guess._ I lit a cigarette and contributed to the freakishly hot atmosphere. Bella and Rosalie were already in the icy Pacific waters, while the boys were getting ready to joined them. I botched my smoke and slipped out my sundress. The was a short round of gasps, when I looked up, Edward and Jasper's eyes were boring into me.

_What the hell?_ I looked down at my little white bikini, trying to figure out what had them so shocked. _Did I stain it? Is my bathing suit see thought? _I mentally freaked out for a moment and my arms shot up to cover my chest. Edward chuckled with amusement but Jasper still wasn't blinking. His fists balled to the sides and I got hear his teeth grinding from were I was standing. He started to approach me, still in silence. I took a shaky step back, my body preparing for flight mode.

_Fight or flight?_ My body shook a little as my survival instincts kicked in.

_Do you even have to ask? Flight, you know you're a coward, you know you'll run away. _My conscience mocked me viciously.

"What. The. Fuck. Is. On. Your. Leg?" Jasper punctuated each word with a short, restrained breath. My eyes shot down and flashbacks of James's hand gripping my leg flooded my cloudy mind.

"A-A bruise?" I stuttered, taking another step back. Jasper was arms length from me now, and still advancing.

"I know it's a fucking bruise. Who put it there?" He growled. The guys must have heard the shouting because they got out of the water and stood back with Edward, shocked and frozen on the spot.

"I-I…I fell." I tripped on my words, taking another step back, showing my fear.

"Bull-fucking-shit. Those are fucking finger prints. Who did this to you?" He shouted, his eyes dead locked on me. Just then an arm slid between us, and Edward was blocking Jasper's path.

"James." Edward whispered reluctantly and Jasper's attention snapped to him.

"Edward…what were you suspended for?" Jasper asked sternly, his eyes still locked on me. Before I knew what was happening, Bella's arms were wrapped tightly around my waist, hugging me into her side.

"I'll kill him." Jasper hissed softly to Edward, whose eyes gave Jasper the answers he wanted.

"This is why I didn't say anything Jasper. Christ you're such a fucking hot head." Edward shouted with a pointed glare. "Its done. I took care of him. Drop it." His voice was a firm and ordering, while his features said he was dead serious. Jasper reluctantly slumped his shoulders in a defeated way and forced himself to back away from me.

With Bella's arms still around me, I stood on my tiptoes to whisper in her ear, "Can you drive me home now?"

She released her grip slightly so she could see my sombre expression. She sighed heavily before mumbling, "Are you sure?"

I took one last look at Jasper as we pulled away in his truck. We did not speak a word the entire drive, but the comforting silence spoke for itself. Bella somehow knew I didn't want to talk, and somehow, she understood and accepted that. I didn't utter a word to Bella as I climbed out of the truck and slammed the door, because she fucking understood, and I hated that.

I hated that she recognised my distress.

I hated that she understood and would one day ask me.

I hated that she worn her heart on her sleeve, for the whole world to see and stain.

But mostly, I hated that one day she would ask, and one day, I would be one of those stains.

I needed distance.

From Rosalie, that controlling, arrogant bitch.

From Emmett, my first real friend here.

From Edward, my knight in shining, bronze coloured armour.

From Bella, the only person who could possibly understand.

From Jasper…

I hit the bottle pretty hard when Bella dropped me off, drinking away any thoughts, regrets, emotions, but the memories only became more vivid. As I laid back on my bed, too drunk to stand, not drunk enough to reach an alcohol induced coma, I stared that the ceiling while images of the past floated through my brain.

_The tires of the school bus squeal behind me, I can smell the burnt rubber coming from the heated pavement. I make my way up the driveway, pausing when at the cars. Her cars gone, his is not. There where two more cars, ones I didn't recognise. I sighed, she must be working late, I thought as I climbed the old wooden steps, leading to the front door. I drop my book bag by my shoes quietly, hoping to sneak upstairs before he realises I'm home. The house is empty, there isn't a sound nor a creak. I quickly run upstairs, this time remembering to take my shoes and book bag with me. A door opens, voices bellow, I recognise his but not the others. I'm curious. _

_I sit on the top step, peeking out the railing. They cannot see me here, I can see them. He sits on the sofa, a man sits next to him while the other two take seats in the adjacent armchairs. One man pulls something out, handing it to him. He rolls his sleeve up, tying a scarf tightly around his muscle. The man hands him a long syringe, and I cringe, wanting to look away but I cannot. I watch as his pierces his forearm with the needle, slowly injecting the brown substance within. When he's done, he freely tosses the syringe on the coffee table, and his eyes shoot up. I couldn't breath when his eyes met mine, there was a lump in my throat, blocking the air. Maybe, I thought if I didn't breath, he wouldn't see me. _

"_Oh Mary Alice, why don't you come spend some time with your father?" He patted the free spot on the couch. His voice sent shivers down my spine, it was singing, playful and murderously happy. I nodded and slowly walked down the steps. Reaching the middle of the staircase my pace picked up, and I started madly running for the door. _

"_Fucking slut." He screamed. I was mere inches from the door when a pair of large, all to familiar hands clasped firmly on my hips, forcefully dragging my little body to the middle of the living room and dropping me there on the ground. I blinked back tears as I tried to crawl away but he dragged me back. Stripping me of my uniform, while the other men watched and when he was done, when he finished inside me, they all laughed. _

I let the tears stream down my cheeks as I drank more, faster, harder stuff. I cried for there to be justice in the world, I cried for there to be a shred of decency in humanity, and I cried for there to be a God. If there was a god, he forgot me a long time ago. If he was truly there, he wouldn't have let these things happen to me. If there was a god, and if I really did have a soul, I wouldn't be made to relive the torment night after night after night. I don't remember falling asleep, but I remember waking up from a heart wrenching memory, while my pillow was stained with tears I'd unknowing cried.

_I couldn't tell mom, I definitely couldn't tell him. I couldn't tell anyone, not even Jane, my best friend since forever. I couldn't tell anyone without ruining my mother's life. So I walked to the clinic, alone in the deep freeze of a January blizzard. I signed the papers, feeling lucky I was fourteen and didn't parental permission. I followed the lady inside the small white operating room and laid on the table. Everything after that came in pieces. I remember leaving the clinic hours later, pausing to throw up on the side of the road. When I slipped into the house, it was dark out, no one was home. I curled up in the darkest corner of my closet, my safe heaven, and cried myself to sleep. _

_I didn't think anyone had seen me, but upon my return to school, the rumours flew like they had wings of their own. People stared, but no one asked until lunch. _

"_Mary is it true?" Jane slid into the seat next to me with eye concerned eyes. I asked her what she was talking about and she replied, "Markus said he saw you leaving plan parenthood the other day? Is it true, what happened? Are you okay?" _

_I could have told her it was true, I could have told her I didn't know who the father was. She would have believed it, everyone would have believed it. It could have been Markus's, or Alec's, or Demetri's, or any other the other guys I'd let fuck me this year. I wished it was, then at least someone would have held my hand, someone would have faced it with me, someone would have helped me, someone would have cared. But it wasn't and I knew who's it was. It was my step fathers. _

"_No." I'm not alright, "It's not true." _

I flicked the light on, in the darkness the memories where much too vivid. At least the light distorts them, and I cannot see his figure in the shadows with the lights on. A few minutes had passed since I'd woken, I'd spent them drinking, trying to drowned myself in the strong scented liquid, but then there was a low tapping on my window. I knew who it was, I could almost feel his presence, I could almost feel a blanket of safeness roll over me, only almost though.

I hesitated, I didn't want to see him, but I didn't want to be alone with my memories.

_The lesser of two evils?_ but there wasn't one. Either way I'd be hurt, I'd feel pain, I'd have to face something I'd rather forget. I took a deep breath and went to the window. At least I wouldn't be the only one in pain. I reluctantly slid the window open and cursed the fact that it slid open with ease.

_Why couldn't it jam up like the rest of the windows in this house?_

"What do you want Jasper?" I hissed sharply through the open window.

"I just wanna talk, Ali." He pouted, his southern twang stronger than usual and pleaded with his eyes. I stepped back from the window and motioned him in. Knowing I could very well regret this tomorrow.

_Then maybe you shouldn't…_ I cut the voice off by reminding myself I've lived with regret and guilt my whole life, no point in changing now. Jasper contorted his large, lanky but muscular body through the small opening, before getting his leg caught in the frame and stumbling forward.

I tried really hard to stifle my laughter, well actually, I didn't try all that hard.

"Its so not funny." He muttered, before something caught his attention on the ground. My laughter came to a halt when I realised what caught his eye. _Shit._

"Wow. That's quite a collection." He murmured passively and slowly pulled himself up so I could see his worried expression clearly. I sat down on the edge of my bed, running my fingers through my short brown hair, and was suddenly plagued by the days before it was cut.

_Don't go there, not now._ My strength whispered cautiously in the back of my mind, but it was too late, the scene washed over me, and I had to will myself not to cry.

_I could smell the liquor on his breath, I could see the meth in his crazed eyes. I was alone with him again, Mom had left after the yelling, succeeding in escaping his wrath. I, on the other hand, was not so lucky. This time, I tried to fight, I took his hits and returned a few of my own but in the end, my legs couldn't hold up against his beating, and I collapsed. He bent down, his fingers twisting and pulling my long brown hair, as he dragged me down the hallway and into the bathroom, locking the door behind us. He pulled out a blade and held it against me. I begged him not to kill me, while he chuckled darkly. _

"_Silly Mary Alice, I'm not going to kill you." His voice was twisted and patronizing, I scrambled to my feet but when the back of his hand connected with my cheek, I spiralled into the tiled floor. _

"_You worthless little whore." He screamed and grabbed a fist full of my hair, pulling me to my knees. I watched him bring the blade to his fist, and chunks of long brown hair pooled around my tired body. I didn't shed a tear as he continued lopping away clumps of hair. I had no more tears left to give him, instead I waited patiently, knowing the tears would come later when I was alone. When he had finished, he threw the scissors on the bathroom counter, kicked my limp body aside and slammed the door behind him. I stared in the mirror realising, as I looked at the train wreck I had become, this was the first time he'd hit me and didn't force himself on me after. But this time hurt more. This time, he'd taken something from me, this time, he taken my identity. _

I blinked back the tears I couldn't shed that day and focused entirely on holding myself together until Jasper was gone. "So what do you have to say to me?" I muttered with an obvious irritated tone.

J POV

_What did I want to say to her? Shit, I know there was something I had to say…_My throat was dry and I disparately needed a drink before I could squeak any words out. If I could even find the words.

My eyes stayed glued on Alice as she sat on the bed, wearing only a tiny pair of black boy shorts and a matching tank top that hugged her curves, as well as her cleavage.

_Stop looking at her tits! _My mind shrieked at me, so I willing my eyes from her cleavage, only to have them land on her bare thighs.

_Great, 'cause that's so much better._ I pushed my legs forward, each step becoming harder and more forced. I finally reached the bed and effortlessly plopped down beside her, her leg brushing against mine.

"Well?" She snarled and folded her arms across her chest, unknowingly drawing my attention there.

"I-I-I uh, I um forgot?" _Smooth, real fucking smooth. That wasn't supposed to be a question, you hormonal fuck._ I silently cursed the part of my brain that could keep coherent thought.

"You uh, um forgot?" She growled aggressively, mocking me.

"Uh, well, um I'm uh sorry.-" I subconsciously rubbed the back of my neck sheepishly, before finding my nerve, "Yes! I'm sorry, about everything." I shouted softly, having a eureka moment.

_No dumbass, you came to tell her she drinking herself to death. _I winced at the stupid, _stupid_ part of my brain that was right and found it quite easy to ignore.

"Oh." She mumbled, obviously expecting something totally different from me. Now I was stuck, I wanted nothing more than to reach over and slide my hand up those silky, porcelain thighs, but I really didn't feel like having my hand slapped away when I did and I knew that's what she'd do.

_It never bothered you if there was a possibility that a chick would slapped your hand away before. _My conscience suddenly made an appearance after seventeen years of keeping its goddamn mouth shut.

_You were never afraid Maria, or Jessica, or Tanya, or Leah, or Laruen, or Angela, or even Charlotte would slap your hand away. _The rational whore in me mocked along with my conscience.

_Yeah, but those were only sluts, one night stands, something to fuck. _I defended myself, realising I must be losing my damn mind.

_And what makes Alice any different?_ I was stumped, she'd never been anything other than icy or cryptic with me, we'd barely spoken two words that didn't result in an argument but yet, I can't bring myself to move my hand.

"Jasper, if you don't have anymore to say, you can leave you know?" Alice broke me from my internal war, with her aggravated murmur.

"I don't have anymore to say, so I'd like to change my previous answer, I'm here because I just want to sit with you, we don't have to talk. Is that okay?" The heat raised to my cheeks and for the first time in a long time, I honestly feared rejection.

"Fine." She muttered, but then her aggravation turned to amusement as her eyes met mine, "You really can't take a hint, can you?" She smirk smugly, and I wanted more than anything right now to kiss her, to be the one making her smirk like that.

"No ma'am." I laid on the Texas twang a little thicker than usual, remembering what it does to chicks.

She giggled with a silly little grin, "You really gotta stop talkin' like that."

"Why Darlin' is there something wrong with the way I talk?" I drawled so thickly I sounded like a damn cowboy. My eyes were drawn south as she rubbed her thighs together, trying to create some friction I assume. A small smirk played across my lips when I realised I was doing that to her.

"Hmm, no." She hummed seductively and shuffled closer to me. "Just you sound like a cowboy that's all."

My mouth ran before my brain could catch up, "Well, little lady, you look a like a reverse cowgirl to me." No taking it back now, my body tensed as I waited for her reaction.

"I'm sure you'd like to find out." She purred, reaching up and pressing her lips against my ears. I lost it, all coherent thought went out the open window, as I grabbed her hips abruptly and pulled her tiny frame into my lap. "Now you really shouldn't be talkin' like that Darlin'." I returned her whisper as my lips trail down her expose neck.

"Why, is there something wrong with the way I talk?" She mimicked me, with a teasing, playful tone that sent me over the edge. In one swift movement, I tossed her back on the bed, crawling on top of her and positioning myself between her legs.

"You know you're a tease." I growled playfully while she giggled. "Don't you laugh baby."

"Or what? You gonna punish me Jazzy?" She purred, egging me on but fuck was that shit hot.

"You goddamn right I will." With that my lips crashed into hers and her legs wrapped around my hips, pulling my erection into her. I had to bite into her pouty bottom lip to keep control as she grinded against me.

All too soon she pulled away from me, and sat on the edge of her bed again, looking anywhere but at me. When the shock wore off I sat next to her but my hands had a mind of their own. I knew I shouldn't touch her right now, but I couldn't resist pulling her back into my lap.

"Jasper?-" She purred, her eyes bright with worries. "I just want to have fun okay?"

A small, very small, tiny even part of me was hurt by that, but a much, _much_ larger part mentally fist pumped at how awesome this chick is.

"'Nuff said Darlin' and you seem like a lot of fun yourself." She smiled and giggled girlishly some more as she grinded her little ass into my hardness. "What'd I say 'bout laughing Doll?"

"What cha'yeah gonna do 'bout it?" She drawled with a cocky smug. My free hand immediately slid between those irresistible thighs, and teases the edge of her panties. I waited a moment to make sure my hand wouldn't be slapped away before sliding a finger inside and pulling her closer to me by the cotton of her wet panties.

"Fuck, your so wet." I growled in her ear and traced small patterns between her folds. Her hips buckled as I teased her entrance and she ground herself closer to my hand, trying to force me inside her.

"You fucking tease." She hissed and struggled against my hand, while grinding harder into my lap. That did it though, I could feel her frustration as I slipped a finger inside her. She moaned out and twisted her fingers though my hair, pulling me to her mouth. I pumped my hand harder, faster, deeper, as she bit into my lip and moaned in my mouth. I pulled away, attacking her neck while adding another finger, then another. "Oh god Alice, you're so fucking tight." She murmured something incoherent as her walls started to tighten around me, I pulled out. My cock was throbbing against the confinements of my jeans.

"Baby?" She pouted for a second but her expression quickly changed as I pulled the hem of her top over her head. She followed my lead, struggling with the button of jeans before releasing my aching cock.

"One second." She scrambled off the bed, wearing nothing but her panties as I kicked my jeans and boxers to the floor. Seconds later she shoved a small tinfoil wrapped at me. I tore it open and watched as she turned her back to me, bending over slowly to slid her panties down her long, smooth legs. I struggled with the condom, my fingers shaky with anticipation before finally getting it settle. Alice climbed on top my lap and purred, "Am I a reverse Cowgirl Jazzy?"

My breathing hitched and all I could do was nod. She turned around, looking over her shoulder as she lowered herself into my lap and positioned me at her entrance. My hips subconsciously bucked and my cock slid easily deep inside her, causing her to moan out loudly.

"Get up." I hissed abruptly. She shot me a confused glance but did as I ordered. I took her hands and placed them on her desk across the room, before positioning myself behind her and sliding my cock back into her tight pussy. Thrusting harder and harder, I reached around to grabbed her tits, while she held on the edge of the desk for support.

"Harder Jazzy, harder!" She screamed and I did as she commanded, slamming my hips against her ass causing the desk to rattled and things to go flying off it. "Fuck me baby." Her walls tightened around me as my hand slid down her waist, massaging her clit while my cock pumped her tight pussy.

"Oh god Jas." She shouted, followed with a continuous string of 'oh fuck, oh god's.

"Come for me Alice." I panted as her head flew back and she screamed my name, causing me to come undone right then. I pulled out of her as we both panted for air, once I'd caught my breath and tossed the used condom in the trash, I bent over and tossed her little body over my shoulder, carrying her cave man style back to the bed.

We laid down on the bed together and I pulled her close to me.

_Since when have I been a cuddler? It didn't matter, Alice didn't seem like a cuddler either, but she snuggled up to my chest and I drifted off to the best sleep I'd had in two weeks, quite possibly ever. _

* * *

**...? **


	6. To being Fucked up and Fucked over

**Disclaimer: We all know I don't own Twilight, and we all know who does. So why do I have to keep saying it?**

**Oh, and I don't own Jiminy Cricket, Pinocchio does, but I do wish I did, that lil guy is soo cute!**

**I'M SO SORRY I HAVEN'T BEEN POSTING! I'm just a little lazy. **

**I think I may need a beta...**

**Also, does anyone know of any awesome Jalice fics? (Other than mine, of course!) I feel like whenever I come across a good one, I read the first page or so, only to realise I've already read it.**

**And as always, Enjoy. **

**xo**

* * *

A POV

I mentally kicked myself when I woke up to Jasper's sleeping form but I gave in, I gave up and cuddled closer to him, suddenly realising how cold it was. _Damnit, he left the fucking window open…hey, when was the last time you actually felt coldness?_ My conscience laughed, already starting in with the alcoholic jokes.

_You moron, I'm a part of you, there for they are not jokes, a part of you knows its true and is willing to admit it, even if you're not._ I tried to move, to drowned that stupid little voice with booze, but Jasper's arms were wrapped too tightly around me, and he was so peaceful, I couldn't wake him.

_Fuck off Jiminy Cricket. _I hissed internally, or so I thought.

"Huh? Jiminy whatta?" Jasper mumbled still half asleep.

"Oh uh, nothing. Morning Jazzy." I muttered with a fake smile.

"Hmm, I like it when you call me that." He groaned and pulled me impossibly closer to him as I pushed back reluctantly.

"Excuse me, I need a drink. Do you want anything?" He shook his head as I climbed off the bed, dashing for my purse and drinking straight from the half empty bottle of Jack Daniel's. I crawled back on the bed, bringing the bottle with me and offering some to Jasper, who refused.

"How'd you like to make a hundred bucks baby?" He chuckled and I knew by the look in his eye, he was planning something.

"Jasper, you know you don't have to pay me to fuck you." I mused and ground my hips into his morning wood intentionally.

"No, I got a friend, no one's ever beaten him at a game of drink, but I think you could. Rosalie's havin' a party this Friday, and no one _ever_ bets against Jake, but I think you could beat him. We'd clean house, and because of your size, no one would see you comin'." He chuckled as I briefly remembered the conversation this Jake guy had in class the other day. I remembered him sayin' he'd never be beaten by a woman.

"Your on."

_Well, I ain't no ordinary woman Jacob. _

Jasper smiled kindly before his features turned sombre, "But seriously, it's only ten o'clock in the morning Ali, and you're drinkin' already?" He cocked an eyebrow, and tried to play his concern off as a joke.

"Keeps the morning hangover at bay." I laughed, hoping it would stay as a joke.

_You are the joke Alice._ I ignored my internal self hatred and crawled over Jasper and off the bed. I took a swig of my old friend Jack and shuffled through my purse for my pack of cigarettes, before pulled a chair to the window. I shook my last smoke out of the pack, lit it and inhaled deeply, blowing smoke rings out the window.

"Alice, have I, um, I mean have you…uh,-" He sat up and rubbed the back of his neck nervously, "-Have I ever seen you when you were sober?" It was a legitimate question, and his brows knitted together with the same worried glances I'd been getting from a lot of people these past two weeks.

But it snapped something inside me, I didn't want his fucking worries, concerns or his fucking pity. "Get out." I snarled and blew smoke out the open window. A window which was now metaphorically closed.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you." Jasper muttered reluctantly with a noticeable anger to his voice.

"Just get out Jasper." My voice was tired, I was done, I'd given up, and I wasn't about to start finding hope now.

"Okay, we're still on for Friday though." He announced as he pulled his clothes on and closed my door gently behind him.

I sat for a while, drinking in front of the open window, and continuously cursing the nicotine craving that walked hand in hand with the bottle. I finally found the motivation to get up and dressed, knowing I'd have to flirt myself another pack of cigarettes. I stumbled, falling over a few times as I tried to pull my jeans on. I tossed on a shirt with a very long neckline and a pair of heels, only to realise I was much to drunk to drive. I sighed, grabbed my purse and Jack, locked the door behind me and started walking to the store.

My luck changed when I got to the corner store and noticed the same boy working the cash, alone. He didn't hesitate to sell me the Marlboros without any ID while his eyes stayed glued on my cleavage. I slumped down in the ally behind the store, cursing my out-of-breath-smoker lungs and lit a much needed cigarette, inhaling after each and every swig of southern whiskey.

"Hey, can I bum one?" The boy from the cash suddenly appeared in front of me with a friendly smile. I nodded, not making eye contact and passed him one. He slumped down against the wall, sitting on the ground next to me. "Name's Seth, by the way." He stuck out his hand with a fool's size grin. I stared at it for a moment, before he pulled his hand back and his cheeks started to glow a deep red.

"I'm Alice." I chuckled at the colour of his cheeks, but it quickly faded and his grin returned.

"Nice to meet you Beautiful." He beamed, and took a long drag from his cigarette.

I snorted, loudly and puffed on my own smoke. "Nice try kid." weirdly though, I didn't feel bad for being a snaky bitch to the friendly kid, he seemed so easy going, like nothing I said would break his spirit.

"Hey!-" His tossed his hands up defensively, "-It was worth a shot." He chuckled, his spirit remained intact. I couldn't help but smile a little at that, he seemed genuinely blissful but as naïve as Bella. "Besides, it's not every day we get pretty girls come into the store all dressed up. Can't blame me for thinking you got all dolled up for me."

I rolled my eyes but broke out smiling for some odd reason. Usually I would have left by now, but this boy was oddly comforting in his boyish ways. "It ain't happenin' kid."

"I know, I know, so what'cha doing back here all alone? It's sort of depressing." He laughed, without a trace of pity for me anywhere. I held up the bottle of Jack, returning his silly grin.

"Dude? Can I have some?" Seth's eyes widened with excitement as he eyed the bottle as if it were something incredible.

"Sure kid." I passed it to him and watched his nose wrinkle in disgust as he took a small sip.

"Stop calling me kid." He whined and placed the bottle on the ground between us. In a strange sense, it almost felt like that bottle was our common ground, and its place between us, was like some weird bonded I'd made with the stranger. "Or I'll have to find a nickname for you."

"Do your worst, _Kid._" I flicked my finished cigarette and watched him as he seemed deep in thought.

"Allie." He mumbled sheepishly and gauged my reaction. When I smiled in approval, he broke out with his signature grin. "So are you like, new or something? I mean I know most of the kids from the high school, but like I've never seen you before."

"Yup, just moved here. Wait, you're not supposed to know that." I giggled and shook my head. Too late now.

"What?" His brows furrowed and his faced asked me if he did something wrong.

"That I'm in high school."

"Oh yeah, don't worry about it. My parent's own the store, so its all good. So do you like go to school with Jake and Sam and them?" He smiled wider than he normally did at the mention of Jake and Sam.

"Yup." I chirped, popping the 'p' girlishly.

"That's cool. There really close friends of mine, actually Jake's my neighbour, and Sam lives right down the road, their like my big brother's or something. Do you have any siblings?" Seth rambled on until I cocked a brow, signalling him to stop.

"Wait, how old are you? And no I don't. Do you?" I stammered laughing a little at his enthusiasm.

"Fifteen, but I'll be sixteen at the end of the month. And yeah, I got one sister, she actually goes to school with you. She's in Jake's grade. I'm home schooled so I can help my parent's out with the store, but I really wish I could go to your school." Once again, Seth rambled with excitement and once again, I cut him off with a raised brow.

"Who is your sister? I'm in some classes with Jake myself."

"Leah Clearwater. You've probably seen her before, Jake says she's a real bitch at school and everyone knows her because of it. Hey wait, should you be in school?"

"Yup. I know her. And I'm suspended for a week." I muttered passively, remembering Emmett introducing me to her and some other chick, Maria.

"What did you do? I heard Mr. Cullen was pretty easy going?" His laughter was heartfelt but was cut off by a booming male voice calling his name. "Gotta go. It was nice meeting you Alice, same time tomorrow?" I nodded with a small smile and he took off towards the street, looking over his shoulder to grin at me once more.

Well, that was odd, but what was even odder, was that I knew I'd be back tomorrow.

_Damn the happy, chatty and social Alice, drunk on Jack Daniel's again. _

The sun slowly faded and I was still sitting by the open window, reading Alice's story and drinking the feelings away. My room probably reeked of smoke while my breath was comparable to lighter fluid, I'd locked my door, just encase my father decided to perform his fatherly duties and check up on me. I hadn't talked to him since the night I was suspended. It's not like he had the right to act like my father now.

_Where was he when I needed him?_ He left. He left my mother, so she could go crawling to _his_ arms. My father left me with _him._ He had no right to start acting like a father now.

The sun slowly fell lower in the sky, and eventually becoming swallowed in the darkness.

Emmett's booming voice suddenly rang in my ears, _Sunshine, sunshine, sunshine. _it repeated over and over again, until the irony became unbearable.

Emmett was dead on.

I was that Sun. Something that once did shine, only to be lost in the darkness.

I lit another cigarette, forcing all my attention on the smoke rings, and tried to ignore the devastating similarities between me and the sun. looking up at the moon and the stars didn't help much.

The stars were only what was left of the sun, smaller, scattered pieces, broken up and peeking through the darkness.

The stars were balls of gas, just like the sun, only they were useless and blended into the millions of others. There was nothing special or useful about a star, they were the suns that hadn't made it. They were the suns that fell behind and stayed in the darkness but they were not alone, and they still did shine.

The moon, a dry, lifeless, desolate, wasteland was what took the place of the shining sun. It was the opposite of the sun, it was death. Not shining like the sun or brilliant and surrounded by its own kind like the stars, the moon was just there.

If I was once the sun, now I was the dull, grey moon. Unlike the stars, I couldn't shine anymore and I was alone. I was the blank, lifeless figure hanging in the darkness.

I flicked my cigarette out the open window and wrapped my arms around my legs, pondering my new philosophy.

_I turned the corner and hung out in the doorframe to the kitchen. She was singing and swaying her hips to the music as she slaved over the stove. _

"_Oh Mary Alice, you startled me." She laughed lightly, her big doe eyes wide with surprise. Her wild, ringlets of red hair flowing freely as she gracefully decreased the space between us, wrapping her arms around me, and hugging me like only a mother could. I hugged back, holding on as if my life depended on it. These moments were rare and like gold to me. The apology that hung on my lips was forgotten as I clung to her, hoping this moment would never end but it always did. The door slammed shut, and she jumped back, her eyes flickered with fear before she was able to control it. He came storming into the kitchen, pushing past mom without saying a word and grabbing a beer from the fridge. _

"_Where's my dinner Victoria?" He snarled at mom before he noticed I was in the room. _

"_Its ready now, I'll leave it heating on the stove for you, but I have to go out tonight. PTA meeting, you know?" She fidgeted nervously. I knew there was no PTA meeting tonight, I knew she was lying, but I would never tell him. I'd never give her away, and take away her excuse to escape the suffering, even if it meant I needed to suffer instead. I couldn't let mom hurt because of me. _

"_Yeah, yeah bullshit Vicky. I know you're off fucking that Aro character." He hissed wickedly, the murderous glint in his eyes told me to run. _

"_Oh Laurent, stop it. Don't say those things in front of Mary Alice, and you know that's not true. Now, I have to go pick up Irina. Suppers on the stove." She called over her shoulder as she grabbed her purse and rushed for the door. He spun on his heel, turning his attention to me with a massive grin that sent a panicked shiver down my spine, "I guess it's just you and me, Mary Alice." _

My eyes snapped open as shivers trembled through my body. I took the last few sips of the Jack Daniel's, hoping the shivers would stop once the alcohol warmed my body, but I knew it was a lost cause. The shivers had nothing to do with the temperature. I sighed and closed my eyes, ready for the terror and visions to come to me once more.

_Warm tears streamed down my cheeks as I clutched the wrinkled paper to my heart, hoping to feel her presences within the sheet. I read it over and over again, having it memorized by now, but I couldn't recite it, I needed to read it, she had wrote it. It was my last piece of her. This was her finally escape. _

_**My dearest Mary Alice,**_

_**Life is not what you make out of it, it's what you give with it.**_

_**The past is solid, the future is not.**_

_**I love you Mary Alice Brandon and I give you freedom.**_

_**Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow and Forever,**_

_**Mom.**_

I jumped from my seat, screaming through the sobs and felt a warm grasp on my arm. I quickly wiped my eyes, waiting for my vision to return with clarity. Honey blonde waves are the first to appear in my cloudy vision.

"J-Jasper?" I stuttered, my fingers still trembling as I reached out to his hand. An electric shock ran through my finger tips, as they grazed across his hand.

"Yeah baby, it's me, I'm here." His voice was soothing and it scared the hell out of me.

"S-she's gone." I whispered shaky to myself as a fresh wave of tears rolled from my eyes. I didn't try to stop them, I hoped maybe, just maybe if Jasper got a tiny peek of the mess I was, he'd get up and run like hell.

But no, being Jasper, he climbed through the window, lifting me off the chair and carrying my limp body to bed. I didn't know how to react to his show of affection, a part of me hated it, hated his pity, but another part loved it because right now, it was just want I needed.

So I did the one thing I could think of, I reached up, pulled his body down and crashed my lips into his. His body tensed for a brief second before he returned my kiss with much more force. My teeth grazed across his lip as my tiny nightie was easily discard, and tossed to the ground. Things took there natural course from there, with Jasper falling asleep next to my naked body.

J POV

I awoke the way I'd dreamed about for so long, with an angel in my arms. I don't care what woke me, so long as I can hold her. She seems peaceful, her features weren't blissful, but they weren't tormented either. There was a banging on the door, which must have been what woke me, followed by someone violently shaking and rattling the door. I froze as a harsh voice came bellowing through the wood.

"Mary Alice Brandon, you unlock this door this instant.-" Then there was a short pause, filled with more pounding on the door. "-Answer me young lady."

Alice stirred and groaned as she was pulled from her deep slumber, by what I assume was her father.

_Her Father?_ My mind screamed at me to run, but my body wouldn't obey.

"Fuck off." Alice shrieked and rolled over, burying her face in my chest.

"Should I go?" I whispered but was cut off by the angry shouting of her father, "Open this door right now young lady. I'm still your father and you cannot speak to me that way."

"Nah, he'll fuck off in a minute." She muttered with a hint of misplaced venom.

"I swear to god Alice, if you don't open this door, you'll be walking to school for the rest of the year." I watched as she rolled her eyes and climbed off the bed. "Closet, now." She whispered and pointed to the open double doors. I didn't hesitate to obey her demands, I really wasn't in the mood to be chased down the street by a pissed off father again. She closed the doors, leaving me in the darkness. I heard the paddle lock on her door clink as it came undone and the door creak open, before the creaking was replaced with a violent 'swoosh' sound.

"Don't you ever do that again you lady. What if something had happened to you and I needed to get in the room?" He sighed with worry, his love and concern for his daughter apparent in his voice. "You are _not _to do that ever again."

"Fuck you, I'll just go buy a new one." Alice hissed harshly, probably glaring at the man.

"Alice, I told you not to speak to me like that. I'm your father and as long as you under my roof, you have to should some respect." His tone was not harsh nor stern, it was simply pleading, pleading with his daughter to respect him.

"You had the chance to be my father for seventeen fucking years. I already told you, its too damn late." I could imagine Alice's body trembling with anger the way it usually does when she yells at me.

I heard the unmistakeable squeak of Alice's bed, followed by a loud thump. "Alice, things just didn't work out being your mother and I, we got married too young and neither of us were ready for it. But that doesn't mean that your not my daughter, and that I'm not your father and that most certainly doesn't mean I don't love you and don't care about you Alice. No matter what, you'll always be my baby girl."

As sappy as it was, I felt a small tug at heart, and hoped Alice would accept this man's plead and love.

"If you fucking cared so damn much, where were you all those years? Where the fuck were you when we needed you…when I needed you?" Her strong voice faded into a pained whisper that threatened to break out into sobs at any given moment. I wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms tightly around her and make the pain go away. But I was helpless, stuck outside her impenetrable emotional armour.

"I'm sorry Alice, I just didn't know he was, I mean, I would have been there, I would have stopped him, I-I-I." Alice cut him off with a piercing shriek, "Just get out!" There was some shuffling and her door gently creaked as it closed. I waited in the closet for Alice to open the doors when it was safe, when she was ready to face me, probably knowing I'd heard too much. For a few short moments I listened to Alice's breathing, first coming in short jaggier huffs but eventually returning to normal. There was the soft but slight unnerving sound of glass clinking together before the double doors flung open. She didn't say a word, but merely sauntered to the window, sliding it open and slipping a cigarette into her parted lips.

_Fuck, jealous of a cigarette now Jasper? Get a grip man._

"Sorry about that, sometimes he just doesn't understand the meaning of 'fuck off'." She tried to sound light, playing off the serious conversation I'd mistakenly overheard, as a big joke. I noticed the half full bottle of whatever next to her seat by the window and my eyes snapped up abruptly as she cleared her throat loudly.

The expression she wore was as if I was staring at a missing limb, physical deformity she had and the realisation hit me then, I was. Pain, hatred, fear and strength conflicted in her eyes, telling me she hated me for knowing, she was hurt and afraid I'd pity her while the strength I couldn't place. I doubt she even knew it was there, holding her together.

That set me off, knowing the strength was there but she didn't care to look for it, drove a steak in my heart and a venom to my mouth, "Jesus Christ Alice, you do you persist on drinking yourself to death?"

I immediately wanted to take it back, because I knew she'd kick me out and the window would be locked tonight.

_So? Go to Jessica's, Maria's, Leah's, Angela's, Laruen's?_ I shook my head trying to cut off the dreaded voice that reminded me I could take my pick of all the women, except Alice.

"You don't know the first thing about death." She said curtly, cutting of the annoying train of thought.

"Sorry Alice, it wasn't my place to uh,-" I trailed off not knowing how to finish that sentence.

"You got that right." Alice snorted and studied the rings of smoke she blew out the window.

"Its just,-" I sighed, preparing for the verbal battle that could follow after I tell her the truth, "-I want you to be okay?"

"Oh for fuck sakes Jasper, how many times do I have to tell I don't want your help? Just go okay." To my surprise, she wasn't angry, the anger had faded and died out, leaving nothing but an exhausted and wore out, desolate little girl.

I shrugged causally while a cold gasp secretly squeezed my heart, "Doesn't mean I'm gonna stop trying. Later Pixie."

A POV

"…Later Pixie." His signature cocky smirk played on his lips and he shut the door, narrowly avoiding the book I'd aimed for his head. It thudded against the wooden door and splattered on the ground.

_The nerve of him._ I checked the clock and realised I'd have to meet Seth soon, for our little back ally friendship of sorts. I poured the amber liquid in my mouth as I rummaged through my half assed wardrobe.

Since I didn't have to impress the kid anymore, I slid on some jeans, a plain black tank top and an old pair of Chuck's before hitting the door.

Seth was already sitting on the ground in the ally as I rounded the corner, careful not to trip on my own feet.

"Allie, you came!" Seth bounced to his feet when he saw me coming.

"Hey Kid, of course I did. What the hell else do I got to do all week?" I laughed, honestly feeling like a kid again myself, a kid that wasn't haunted, a light, carefree kid. The naïve, blissfully ignorant vibe rolled of Seth in waves, something I doubt he was conscious of.

"Yes! So what did you do? Musta been pretty bad ass?" He chuckled and bummed a smoke from my pack.

"Fist fight, swearing, storming out of class, slamming the door, skipping class, drinking at school, and another fist fight." I shrugged, making it sound worse than it was for Seth's entertainment.

"Dude, you're one bad ass little new girl. So who'd you punch?" He chuckled that almost sounded more like a giggle to me and sucked back on his cigarette.

"Rosalie Hale." I muttered and watched in amusement as he choked and coughed on his smoke.

Once his lungs were back in his control, he stared at me, wide eyed, "As in Leah's friend Rosalie? The blonde one with the huge rack? Damn she's hot, but a real bitch. Reminds me of a saying Jake taught me when I was younger.-" He paused and let his cheeks rise into a mischievous grin, "-That pretty face of yours, don't match that nasty attitude."

I couldn't not laugh at the truth when it was so blatantly spoken but his rant reminded of my prior engagement this Friday, and I figured it should scope out my competition. _Or lack of._

"Hey, there's a party this Friday at Rosalie's, are you going? I know Jake is supposed to-" I was cut off by his suddenly movements as he bounced excitedly next to me.

"Yeah I'm so going. There's some chick that thinks she can out drink my boy Jake." He gave me a look that said 'as if' and grinned as per usual. I pulled the bottle of Hennessey from my purse and held it up in the universal 'cheers' fashion, before twisting off the cap and smugly smirking, "Oh, I know I will." I took a a huge swig, wiped my mouth with my arm and offered him a taste.

"You? Oh this I gotta see." He laughed and baby sipped the Hennessey.

"Well, now that you have info to report back to Jake, why don't you give me a little dirt on the competition?" I cocked an eyebrow, but he seemed hesitant.

"Oh what the heck. Why not? Jake can't drink that fruity, sugary, girlish shit, it makes him fucking barf up a lung." Seth laughed but his features quickly sobered with disgust and I had a strange feeling he was remembering something, something that obviously involved Jacob's puke.

"No, no good. I would never resort to that kind of trickery. Besides the fruity shit makes me gag as well." His eyes held appreciation as he turned to me, no doubt happy I wouldn't use his information against Jake.

Maybe another time, but this time, I wanted to win on my own merits.

_You mean your talent to down a whole bottle just so you can be whole again?_ My lips pressed to the bottle and snaky voice faded.

"Well, I remember Jake saying once, he likes his liquor like his fucks, rough, strong and hard, none of that smooth, slow, go down easy shit."

"Ah, I'll play fair, you tell Jake, he picks the drink, all I ask is shots." Lets see if that fucker will play fair. Its not like it made much difference to me how my alcohol was consumed, so long as it was.

"So what's Jake in for?"

"A challenge." My arrogance got the better of me as he hopped up and waved bye, calling "Same time tomorrow?" as he walked away.

I staggered back to my house, pausing more than once to duck into the ditch, hoping that the Hennessey would corporate with my empty stomach, and I wouldn't heave up the amber liquor on the road side. I finally hit the more stretch, my eyes squinted to focus on a small figure, hunched over on the front step. I approached the house with caution as my fear of people in general flared up but when I saw the tussled brown locks flowing in the bone chilling wind, I instantly knew it was Bella.

I put on an exaggerated friendly smile, not that I wasn't happy to see her, I just wasn't happy to see anyone, and sauntered over there, trying desperately not to let her see my broken stride.

"Hey Bella, what are you doing here?" I tried not to be accusing, but it may have slipped out in my tone.

"I'm uh,- her for my dress?" _Lair, bad lair._ She rubbed the back of her neck nervously, obviously a habit she picked up from Jasper. I didn't call her out on her lies because I would prefer her stepping around the truth of her visit instead of facing it at all. Maybe she'll lose the nerve, take her dress and leave, one can only hope.

I sighed before I realised it was loud enough for her to here, "Come on." I shuffled though my purse feeling around for my keys. "Aw, damnit." I hissed, realising in my drunk haze I'd forgotten my keys. "Up for a little B&E?"

She chuckled and I lead us around back, knowing if I was drunk enough to forget my keys, I was _definitely_ drunk enough to forget to close that window.

Sure enough, my smoking window, my Jasper window, my always open window, was still wide open. I mentally laughed at the situation, first Jasper was crawling through my window, now his cousin.

I rummaged through my stuff, half embarrassed Bella was seeing my worthy wardrobe after I'd seen hers. I finally found her dress, folding it nicely and smoothing out the wrinkles. Like all my clean clothes, it was tossed careless on the floor of my closet. I handed her the silky pill of fabric and debated whether or not to ask her to leave.

"So babe, how you been?" She chirped, plopping down on my bed, crossing her legs.

"Fine." I plopped down in my chair, kicked my feet up on the window sill and lit a smoke, something Bella noticeable gagged to. "You?"

"I've been okay, really bored though. Jasper's been out with Emmett everyday, and Edward's grounded. So things have been really dull, that's why I thought maybe we got do something today?" Bella fidgeted with her hair nervously, and I felt that same protective feeling wash over me. Even though, Edward told me Bella knew pain, I didn't believe it. How could see be so open and caring if she truly had?

"Like?" I groaned, knowing she would ignore it, and sure enough, she bounced on the bed, and clapped her hands excitedly.

Now, I knew I wouldn't like the answer. "Shopping!"

With that, she just mentally kicked me in the teeth. She didn't wait for my answer either, she just jumped off the bed and headed for my vintage and-not-in-the-good-way, closet. I focused on my smoke rings but occasionally curiosity got the better of me and I peeked over my shoulder, watching her throw piles of clothes on my bed.

"First things first, we must get rid of all this." She used her hands to dramatically showcase the pile on my bed with a grin that made me cringe.

A light bulb flickered in my mind and I thought of the perfect excuse to save myself the 'quantity bonding time' with Bella. "Bells, I don't have the money to replace all my clothes."

_Lair, lair, pants on fire._ My conscience mockingly sang. It was right, I did have the money, hell, I had enough money to buy and sell this hole of a town. A little did anyone know that my mother had inherited a lot of money when my grandfather passed away. She had to keep it a secret from my crack addicted stepfather and myself but when she…well, when she, she left all of it to me. I never really used it though, only to purchase alcohol and my fake ID but that was a waste, when the stupid guy at the liquor store cut it up.

"Oh don't worry about that. Catharine and John gave me a credit card when I came to live with them, they wont even notice a few extra purchases." Bella chimed with a mischievous sparkle in her eyes.

Feeling trapped I grabbed my check book from the desk and shoved it in my purse before scouring my room for my old flask and my keys.

"You drive." I muttered and tossed her the keys to my old hippy van. She shot me a funny look but didn't ask, which I was grateful for.

"So where are we going?" I grumbled with my lips pressed to the open flask.

"Port Angelus. Its too late to go to Seattle today, maybe another day though." Her face lit up like a Christmas tree when she oh so subtly roped me into doing this again.

For a while the van was filled with an awkward silences, just the way I like it. Bella focused on the road in front of her, while I stared absent minded out the window, watching the small town roll past in a blink of an eye.

Shopping went well, Bella grabbed stacks of clothing, and shoved me into dressing rooms. I drank while I tried clothes on, modeling them for Bella and she dictated whether or not I buy them. I didn't let her pay for any of it, instead I just wrote check after check, after check. I signed my name so many times, I felt like I was a celebrity giving autographs. We made four trips to the van, dropping off bags and buying more. I can't say I wasn't grateful to get new clothes, back in Seattle, I was the most envied fashionista at my high school, but after what happened, I just gave up and didn't care what I wore or what I looked like. I knew I was a fashion monstrosity, but I couldn't be bothered, it just all seemed so pointless, why look good, if your not?

We were leaving the small, but large compared to forks, town when I noticed Bella's hands shaking around the steering wheel. "Hey Bells, you okay?" I had a slight panic for our safety as she tried to control her breathing. Not that I cared what happened to me, but I didn't want anything bad to happen to Bella.

"Yeah no, its just hard you know. I mean I still haven't gotten over what happened." She whispered and for the first time, I heard pain in her voice, saw it in her expression, watched it flicker in her chocolate eyes.

I almost slipped up and told her everything would be okay, but then it hit me, she hadn't told me, she wasn't the one who trusted me with her secret, Edward had and I couldn't say anything until she told me.

"What happened?" I whispered, and a part of me actually wished she trusted me enough to tell me, but a larger part didn't want to get that close to her.

She let out a long sigh and I knew the small part was about to get what it wanted. "Secret for secret?"

I didn't move, I was frozen, I didn't want to tell her, I didn't want to ever tell anyone. I cursed under my breath when I realised she took my lack of answer as a yes. "My father was chief of police and I used to live with him in Port Angelus, before he was shot and killed in the line of duty."

_Shit, shit, shit. I can't tell her anything. I wont, I can't, I shouldn't. _"What about your mom?" I cringed at the word and so did she.

"Renee didn't want me. After I was born she ran off with some surfer boy toy, Phil and when they contacted her, she told them to let me go to the Whitlock's." Bella hissed and her little fingers tightened around the wheel, causing her knuckles to go white. "Your turn." She muttered, the anger was still strong in her voice.

"Uh, I don't have anything that could compare…" I lied again, hoping my acting skills were up to par.

"You know, I've always wanted to be a cop, like my father. I mean he helped so many people, and he didn't die in vain, he gave his life to save someone else's, but part of the job is knowing when you're being lied to and I know you're lying to me Alice." She cocked an eye brow, and my heart dropped into the pit of my stomach, making me feel suddenly nauseous.

_Or maybe that's the boozes, ever think of that?_ My conscience was cut off with I yelped at Bella, "Pull over!"

She panicked, but calmly pulled off on the shoulder, just in time for me to open my door and hung my head out. The idea of talking about the past make the contents of my stomach spill out on the pavement.

"Christ Ali, how much have you had to drink?" Bella shouted as I slammed my door closed, taking a sip of Tangurary from the flask, while the smell of the pine liquor flooded my nostrils, threatening to turn my stomach.

_Not enough to have this conversation. _I mentally quipped.

"Sorry, forget I asked." Bella muttered venomously and pulled back onto the deserted road.

"Wait what?" _Did I say that out loud or was she answering her own question?_ I studied her features for a moment, unable to answer my own questions.

"If you have be drunk to talk to me, then forget I asked." _Way to go idiot. _The voice laughed, mocking my uncontrollable tongue.

"Shit, sorry Bells. It's just I really don't have anything that compares." I mumbled, hinting to the fact that I did have something, it just didn't have a silver lining like her own story, mine just kept getting worse.

"Yeah whatever. You think it was easy for me to tell you? You think losing my father was easy compared to anything else? You think knowing my mother didn't want me wasn't as bad as whatever it is happened to you?" Her knuckles whitened against the wheel and in her rage I don't think she even noticed we were going _way_ over the speed limit.

That set me off though, hearing her judge me, like she knew my story, like she thought it would be mild compared to hers. My hands balled to fists and I gritted my teeth to hold back the words that my uncontrollable tongue spat out, "My mother fucking hung herself! My step father was a goddamn crack head, who fucking raped and beat me constantly since I was fucking twelve years old! I was the one who found my fucking mother hanging from a rope in the garage, so don't fucking tell me you know shit about pain. Your mother may not have wanted you, but at least she didn't fucking kill herself to escape you! Now pull the fuck over!"

Stunned, Bella pulled over so I could stumble out of the car and heave my remaining stomach contents into the ditch. Only after did I realise Bella was behind me, holding my short hair out of my face. When I was done, I didn't even have a chance to push her off before she pulled me into the tightest hug anyone had ever given me, besides my own mother. The way she hugged me, reminded me so much of the way my mother did, I could hold back the sobs and I let them fall on Bella's shoulder.

When I finally recollected my pride, I pushed her away and stumbled back to the van. Bella started the car but didn't pull back onto the road.

"I'm sorry sweetie, that shit should never have happened to you, it should never happen to anyone." I looked in her eyes, expecting to see judgement, sympathy, pity or remorse, but Bella's eyes held none of that. All that was there was pain, hurt and regret but it was shared. It was her pain and mine, it was hurt for both of us and it was regret for the twisted lives we led.

"I was pregnant." I whispered, chewing on my cheek to keep the tears at bay. It was all out now, I couldn't take it back, even if I wished too.

"Oh god babe, come here." She slid across the bench, holding her arms around me, letting me rest my head on her shoulder and for some reason, this was the safest I'd felt in a very long time.

I pulled away suddenly, mistrust and panic shot through me, "You can't tell anyone, not even Edward, and especially not Jasper."

B POV

Although, it killed me hearing Alice's story, I couldn't let her see it. I had to hide my sympathy and remorse because I knew if she saw it, she would run like hell when clearly what she needed was someone to care, even if she didn't know it yet. She needed someone to hold her, someone who's been through it, even if _it_ wasn't the same. She just needed a friend.

"I'll never tell a soul Alice." I whispered and wrapped her back in my arms, letting her cry all the tears she'd held in for too long. A part of me was afraid that if I didn't have my arms around her, she would run and her guard would only be that much stronger.

I let out a quiet sigh and rolled the dice, hoping maybe I could help her just a little, enough to make life worth it, "I know it doesn't always help to talk about it, but one day it will. Before, I couldn't talk about my father, it only made it worst, but as time passed, I felt a little less burdened every time I did. Do you mind if I talk about it now and one day, when you will want to talk about it, you can come talk to me?"

_Distract and help, distract and help, distract and help…_

"Okay."

I took a shaky breath, it really doesn't feel much better talking about it, but our situations where different. I did not have the guilt our the burden that I saw in Alice's eyes. She needed to talk one day, she needed to get it off her shoulders before the weight of the world crushed her tiny frame. She was right, our situations couldn't compare. I got feel guilt for my father's dead, sure it was painful and I wish he were here, but my father laid down his life to save another, my father was a hero, and there is no shame or guilt in that. My mother, on the other hand, I had no pride in but I couldn't blame myself, and I cannot say it didn't hurt me and still hurts me. I have no memory of her, she left when I was two years old, didn't phone or write on my birthdays, Christmas', nothing, she never made contact, she was a stranger in my eyes. And how can I blame myself for a stranger not wanting me?

"Well, okay." I took a deep breath, I knew Edward already told her, but I felt I could trust her more knowing she wouldn't betray Edward's confidence. "I held my father's hand on his death bed, the last thing I said to him was 'why', I asked him how he could do this to me. I was selfish and angry at him, I couldn't understand why he would be willing to die and leave me alone in this world, for a couple of girls, that weren't much older then I was. I couldn't even appreciate his last words at the time, but now I see them as the most loving thing he'd ever said to me. My father's last words were, 'what if it was you Bells?' That made me so angry, so hateful, he died before I got the chance to yell and scream and say 'it was not me' and you know what, I thank god every day that he took my father at that moment, the moment before I could say the words that I'd surely regret for the rest of my life."

A single tear slipped down my cheek as I remember how hateful I was, how selfish and how much I hated him. I didn't go to the funereal, I wish I had, but I blamed him for leaving me.

Alice didn't say anything, instead she watched as the words were told in my eyes, my features, my expression and my movement. I knew I didn't have to say anything, and Alice would know everything.

"What is it you regret Bella? Fate may have saved you once from regret, but I can tell by your eyes it doesn't give second chances." I didn't expect Alice to talk, let alone ask a personal question. She was always so distant, not taking but not giving any information, she was just silent. _So why is she taking an interest in me, when she's obviously tried to hard to not get close to anyone?_

Now though, if I didn't want to push her away, push her over the edge, I would have to tell her something I'd never told anyone, not even Edward. "I didn't go to his funereal, I hated him."

I don't know if she knew I'd never told anyone this, but suddenly her arms were wrapped protectively around me, and our roles were reversed, she let me cry on her shoulder.

"Alice, what made you trust me?" I whispered went the sobs finally subsided. A fresh wave of tears flooded my eyes as I realised how that must have sounded, especially to someone as untrusting as Alice.

"I don't know, I have this strange urge to protect you Bella, you seem so fragile and innocent, but in the sense that you don't know that people are bad."

"People aren't bad, they just do bad things. That's why we're given second chances." I whispered as memories of Sunday school and church with my father came flooding back. I wasn't a practicing Christian anymore, not since he passed, but I refused to believe that people are just plain bad.

Alice snorted loudly but didn't bother with the hurtful, snaky comment I'm sure was floating around in her head.

Once I'd finally calmed down, I started the engine of Alice's vintage van as she held the flask to her lips, taking a rather large gulp. "You want some?"

She offered the flask, but I shook my head, "I'm driving."

All she had to was cock an eyebrow, and I was convinced, I took the silver tin from her, unscrewed the cap and raised the flask, "To being fuck up, and fucked over." I announced and the clear liquid smoothly burned my throat.

"Here, here."

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**I'd just like to say, I'm a little nervous about this fic, the content is a little dark and I hope it isn't too distrubing... let me know. (:**

**xo**


	7. Only the Length of a Beer

**Disclaimer: Blah blah blah blah... Step one: Read disclaimers from previous chapters. Step two: Realize I do not own Twilight. Step Three: Enjoy it anyways.**

**I just wanted to thank everyone who reviewed, you guys seriously made my day. I'd also like to give a special thanks to the loyal reviewers, you guys are simply amazing, and the reason I still update. This one is for you guys!**

**I must say, this is definitely my favorite chapter... okay, well its one of my favorites... actually, I love them all, but this one just a tiny bit more than the rest.**

**Oh and I'd also like to mention that I have kind of given up on throughtly editing my work. I mean my spelling isn't that bad right? But don't worry, I haven't given up on editing all together, but this way I can bring my lazy butt to update sooner. Hope that doesn't bother anyone?**

**So Enjoy it.**

**xo**

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A POV

I told her everything, I fucked up and now I had to get the hell out of forks.

_God, why is she driving so slow? I need to get out of her. _An uneasy feeling of claustrophobia washed over me. I was sitting _way_ to close to the woman, who had had a peek at my soul, or lack of.

I had to get out but I still didn't want to hurt Bella.

_Maybe…just maybe, if Dad sent me away…_If I made life so unbearable for him, if I got expelled from the only high school in town, if I came home noticeably drunk enough times, and he knew I smoked in the house…then maybe he would be so fed up, he'd ship me off to a boarding school on the other side of the country, where I could start fresh.

_By start fresh, you know you mean, do everything the same and hope no one tries to break down your walls, much less four people ganging up on you to knock them down. _I laughed as my conscience rolled its eyes, Bella shot me a cautious glance, probably making sure my sanity was still intact.

_Which it's not, you fool. _My damn conscience retorted, and I wished it _was_ a cricket I could flick off my shoulder. Instead, I let my sanity titter on the edge and mentally quipped, _That's true, I hear voices in my head._

The voice chuckled darkly at the twisted humour, and I knew I'd just lost a battle with myself, _You really have lost it Alice, your fighting with the voice in your head. You don't consider me a part of you, yet I am so clearly in your head. So yes, you're undeniably insane. _

So I countered, winning the battle the only way I knew how, _Time to drown you in Gin._

I pressed the flask to my chapped lips, emptying the remaining contents in my mouth, as Bella's cautious looks became more frequent.

I dropped Bella off, pretending I was sober enough to drive and said goodbye, her features still noticeably wrinkled with worry, but I couldn't meet her eye, she knew too much, she knew everything. I stumbled into the house, didn't bother with mints, gum or perfume, I wanted this, I want him to know. I walked through the living room, hoping he'd greet me and try to talk to me, but that plan fell through when I heard the roaring football announcer coming through the speakers. I could lit the house on fire right now, and so long as the television didn't go up in smoke, my father would be none the wiser. I was deep in thought and didn't realise until it was too late, that the TV flickered with commercials, and both men had there attention on me.

"Billy, this is my daughter Alice." My father beamed with pride, but a pride I did not share.

"Nice to finally meet you Alice, I feel like I know you already, your old man never shuts up about you." The older, dark skinned man chuckled playfully at my father. The man reminded me a lot of Seth and Leah but much, _much_ more of Jacob. "So how are you liking your new school?"

My attention was brought back by the two men staring at me, waiting for reassurance. "I hate it." I didn't skip a beat, my words were clear, cutting and did not only apply to the school.

Before either could say anything, a booming shout came from the kitchen, "Yo Jimmy, you got any munchies?" A tall native American boy hung in the door frame to the kitchen and I instantly recognised him, but couldn't remember his name, I knew I knew him from somewhere.

"Oh hey new girl." His voice wasn't sarcastic or mocking, it was just oddly simple, like he was stating a fact.

"Uh hi." I muttered, trying desperately to find a name to match the face.

"Oh good, I see you've met. Alice, why don't you give him a lift to the store?-" He turned to the boy, "-You got about an hour and a half before your game starts, would you mind getting some milk while your there?" My father turned back to the TV before I could protest and became deep in his football trance.

I purposely rolled my eyes for the boy to see and grabbed my coat. I waited by my van, knowing I probably shouldn't chance it a second time, I tossed the keys at him.

"You want me to drive?" His eyes were wide with concern and he looked around cautiously before muttering, "I can't."

"Why the hell not? I sure as hell can't." I snapped, forgetting to mention the fact that I was beyond shit-faced wasted.

"Nah dude, you gotta drive. I'm a little drunk." His lazily tone gave it all away, he was about as tanked as I was.

"Then we're walkin' cause I'm tanked." I actually chuckled drunkenly at our predicament and started walking. He groaned, but quickly caught up with me.

"So you're the infamous daughter Jimmy never shuts up about." The boy mused in a way that he just put the pieces together.

"Guess so." I shrugged and hoped we could walk the rest in silence.

"I shoulda guessed, I mean, you are the new chick and your pops has been talkin' about you comin' to live with him forever now." He chuckled but the way he said 'forever' intrigued me since I'd only been here a month and only been enrolled in school for two weeks of that month. Hell, he didn't know I was coming to live with him until a week before I did. "That long huh?"

"Yeah, he's been sayin' for years how he wanted you to come live here but went we ask why you don't he'd always say, 'because she's a city slicker, why the hell would she want to come live in bum-fuck no where, when she's happy where she is.' Then when you finally wised up and saw that country folks have it right, he was on cloud freaking nine."

His words should have offended me, but the fact that my father hadn't told anyone why I _had to_ come live with him, was making me smile and confused all at the same time.

"Yeah, well the city wasn't as great as my father thought it was." The double meaning took life when the boy's eyes flickered with understanding, but it subsided and I knew he wouldn't ask.

"Hey, what's you name by the way?" I know I should have felt a bit embarrassed but I could care less, being friendly wasn't and isn't on my list of priorities.

"Seriously? Forgot already huh? It's Jake." He didn't seem offended, but hurt that his reputation wasn't up held.

"Oh shit, Jacob from Spanish, that's right." _Oh shit, Jacob from the drinking contest._

We rounded the corner to Seth's store when I realise he was heading in that direction and Seth might let it slip about the contest, which I was slightly surprised he already hadn't.

He walked into the store in front of me and Seth's unmistakable childish voice rang in my ears, "Hey Jake, what's up?" I didn't have to see his face to know he was grinning like a fool. "Oh shit, hey Allie!" His voice rang with ten times more excitement.

"Hey kid how's it going?" I chirped and grabbed a bag of milk, tossing it on the counter as Seth pulled out my Marlboro's. Jake swaggered up behind me and dumped an arm load of chips and soft drinks on the counter. "If you want any chips or anything, you'd better go grab a bag."

I gawked at Jacob for a moment, before turning to gawk at the amount of junk food he'd just tossed on the counter.

"Fine." I challenged before sauntering off to the back of the store and returning with a two-four. "If you want some, you'd better go get yourself a case."

"Well then Chika, I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship." Jacob laughed and took the beer from me, tossing the heavy box on the counter with ease.

"Damn, I'd love to see you two in a drinking match." Seth winked at me while Jacob's back was turned. I shot back a 'shut-the-fuck-up' look before Jake had a chance to notice.

Jacob carried the beer, and some of his bags and I carried the rest of _his_ bags while we stumbled drunkenly towards the house, the case of beer continuously getting lighter as we chugged and tossed the bottles into the ditch.

"Damn Chika, no chick has ever matched me drink for drink before, keep this up and I'll end up carrying your drunk ass home too."

I was about to retort with a snide comment when something inside me told me to just let the game play out like it was supposed to, a surprise. I started to exaggerate my stumbles and tripping more frequently, while giggling foolishly. In a silly sense, what I was doing reminded me of poker, these were my bluffs to stroke his ego, and my poker face was merely tripping into the ditch one too many times, so come Friday, he would think I was an easy drunk.

We both collapsed on the front porch, gripping open bag after bag of _Jacob's_ chips and stuffing our faces while washing it down with beer after beer. It was so simple, so easy. He didn't ask questions, he didn't have any expectations or judgements of me, it was almost like we had a drunken understanding and so long as we stayed drunk, the understanding was up held. We stayed like this until my father and Billy came to tell Jacob his game was starting, and gave us both shit for the beer. I couldn't help but feel it would have been a lot worse it Jacob and Billy weren't here. My dad and Billy put up there parental front but I could see the smirks threatening to break though, and the sparkle in their eyes that said 'remember when we were young and we…'

I had to bit back a laugh when my father said to Billy in a wicked way, "Help me dispose of this beer" and walked over, picked up the case and realised there were only four left. Before anyone could reach, Jake grabbed the four beers and started disturbing them amongst the four of us, unscrewing the cap on mine before handing it to me. I glared at him, but secretly thanked him because those things were just a pain for someone with small hands like me.

"I'd like to make a toast." Jake announced and both older men shrugged in unison before popping the caps on theirs. Jake raised his beer and everyone followed suit, "To the new girl, may Jimmy finally shut the hell up about her." Everyone chuckled, clanked and took a swig.

"Not likely, imagine when he becomes a grandfather… oh god." Billy teased and my father flashed a guilty grin.

We sat out on the porch finishing our beers and watching my father and Billy bantering like the town gossips. An image flashed in my mind as I watched them, I imagined them sitting on this same porch, when they were my age, drinking beers and I imagined them well into there sixties doing the exact same thing. The repetition was almost comforting, knowing things would never change, and I didn't have to fear the unexpected. I'd never felt this before, it was as if time stopped moving and we stayed still, teasing, joking, bickering and smiling. There was no past, no present, no future, no yesterday, no today and no tomorrow, there was just us, being. It was the closet thing I'd ever felt to family, not moving forward, not moving back, not constantly haunted by regrets or sorrows, which I guess was the true meaning of home. And I found it, that night on the porch, surrounded by bickering old men and a boy I barely knew, I finally felt normal, after searching so long, I finally felt home. Too bad nothing lasts forever, only the length of one beer. The men filed back into the house as the sound of the football game starting was heard from the porch, and I was left alone, surrounded by empty bottles, that only seconds ago were full of life and happiness.

_You or the bottles?_ I groaned as I realised beer wasn't enough to drown that insufferable voice. I staggered back to my room, pasting through the living room completely unnoticed. I was surprised when I saw the grandfather clock in the corner of the living room, Jake's game was just starting and it was already 10:30 at night.

I closed my door behind me, silently cursing the fact that I'd been in the mall today and completely forgot to buy a new lock. I slid my window open and plopped down in my chair, lighting a much needed cigarette after the surreal events of today.

_Shit. I told Bella. _

I sat there dwelling on this thought as I smoked cigarette, after cigarette and chewed my nails, a habit I didn't even know I had, until now. When the cigarettes and nail chewing didn't calm my pulsing nerves, I decided to add a bottle of Grey Goose to the mix. The smooth taste of the clear liquid did wonders to sooth me but it couldn't steady my nerves. I kept smoking, knowing the vodka would lull me to a drunken slumber if I didn't have the nicotine to keep my heart going. I wasn't ready for the memories to avid my mind because I knew they'd be much more vivid tonight. I forced my eyes opened and my midnight visitor arrived just in time. Jasper crawled thought the window, without saying a word, he lifted my tiny form and gently laid me on the bed before climbing on top of me.

"Hello Darlin'." He whispered, hovering over me with a predator look in he's eyes.

"You kept me waiting long enough." I moaned, as my breathing slowed to steady, shallow breaths and my legs began to throb.

"My apologise ma'am." He smirked as his fingers slid under the fabric of my tiny silk night gown. He groaned loudly when he realised I wasn't wearing anything under the nightie and started to teased my entrance. He dipped a finger inside me, but suddenly pulled back and jumped.

"What was that?" He gapped wide eyed. That would be the roaring of three stupid cock blocking assholes cheering to a television.

"Football." I muttered, wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. "Now, where were we?" His lips crashed into mine as my hands slid down his body, ignoring his shirt and focusing on his jeans. My fingers struggled with the button and he broke our kiss, to slide his jeans and boxers just enough to let his hardened cock spring out. "Right about here Darlin'." His husky southern drawl sent shivers down my spine and a wave of wetness to the throbbing between my legs.

"How do you want me cowboy?" I purred and he froze, gapping at me with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"I want to bend that nice ass of yours over the bed and fuck you into next week baby." He growled, and slid his hand under my ass, grabbing and squeezing it hard enough to leave a mark, his mark. Suddenly he jumped from the bed, kicking his jeans off and lifting me so my legs were wrapped around his waist. The tip of his cock was pressed against my entrance, and I needed it, now.

"Fuck me Jasper." I hissed and he obeyed, slamming his cock into me, before carrying me across the room, shoved the stuff off my desk and gentle placing me on it.

"Let go of my waist Alice." He growled and thrust deeper into me. My nails raked across his back as I dropped my legs. His hands dropped from my ass, gripping my thighs, he raised them until my caves where resting on his shoulder. "Oh god," I groaned as he gripped my legs for supposed, pulling me into him.

"Come for my baby, oh god, fuck." Jasper panted completely incoherent words as his speed increased, rattling the desk sending picture frames, books, papers, everything crashing around us.

I could feel my walls tightening our his massive cock, as he pushed deeper inside me, causing me to come unravel and scream his name while he came inside me. Our bodies melted together while we panted for air. When his breathing returned to normal, he carried me back to bed, and laid down next to me.

"Damn baby, you're a hot piece, you know that?" His husky southern drawl sounded lazier than usual as he let out a small yawn.

I woke up, luckily Jasper had rolled in his sleep and released the death grip he had on my body. I slowly and carefully slid off the bed, checked the clock to make sure my dad was gone and made my way to the kitchen, desperate to get some caffeine in me before Jasper wakes up. I poured myself a cup and busied myself with the sugar when I felt a hand on my hip. I jumped out of my skin and spun on my heel, dropping and breaking the mug in the process.

"S'up Chika? You got any good grub?" Jacob chuckled before his eyes dropped and dragged lazily along my barely clothed body.

"Babe? You alright?" Jasper came rushing into the kitchen but stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Jacob.

"Damn Whitlock, you were the one makin' her scream all night, shit. And here I thought Jimmy didn't allow sleepovers." Jacob teased with a devilish smirk. Jasper just gawked at him, with a not so subtle busted look in his wide eyes.

"Dude, why are you here?" I stepped over the glass, and eyeing Jake cautiously.

He shrugged his shoulders causally, "Game ran over time, Dad passed out on the couch, so I crashed in the guest room."

Before I could, Jasper spoke up, "No, she mean's what are you doing here now?"

"Oh school? Fuck that shit. I gotta be well rested for that party tonight and your little challenge." Jacob sauntered to the cupboards before turning his attention back to me, "By the way, love what you're wearin' Chika." He quipped and started to put some breakfast together. Jasper grabbed my waist, holding onto me protectively, but more trying to cover my body from Jake's prying eye.

It took will power I didn't even know I had to keep from blurting out the truth. After Jacob had 'rustled up some grub' as he calls it, both boys went to eat in front of the TV while I cleaned the coffee mug from the floor. I grabbed what was left of the massive amount of scrambled eggs before Jacob had time to come back for a fourth helping. I knew I had to keep my appetite up for today so it would take a lot longer for the alcohol to take effect, even though I would much prefer to get as drunk as possible in the shortest amount of time possible, I couldn't. Today, tonight, was about pride and putting a sexist, over confident, self proclaimed drinking king, in his place.

I closed the door of my room behind me and emptied the bags from yesterday onto my bed, digging and sorting through all the outfit I'd bought. I think this is the first time in a long, long time I'd put any effort into what I was going to wear. I knew my choice of clothes tonight would be judged, along with my size and my personality, which would all be added to my so called 'poker face.' I needed to look girly, dizzy and easy, this would make people laugh at me, laugh at the fact that I'm challenging Jacob, thus raising the steaks in our favour. The more people that bet against me, the better, the more I'd win.

I picked out a little jean skirt from my closet, something Bella didn't get the chance to throw out, a skimpy black halter top I'd bought yesterday and a black pair of leather thigh high boots with a five inch heel. _Perfect._

I always found I was able to walk better in heels, I'd stumble and trip less than when I wore sneakers. When Jane and I used to go clubbing in Seattle, we'd be able to drink our hearts out and still walk home in six inch heels, never broke a heel either.

The TV was blaring from the living room, and I could hear the guys hollering and bantering about something or another, so I figured instead of disturbing them, I'd just get ready for my back ally date. I slipped on a pair of ripped up jeans, an oversized hoodie, that would probably fit Emmett better than me, and my old, brown Chuck Taylor's.

Now that that was taken care of, time for the hard part.

I laid down on the carpet an pondered my choices. Today, there was a different dilemma than usual.

Usually I would have to pick between colours, types and labels. I practically have it down to a science now, first judge by taste, then colour, then by mixers, then by type, but today, I had to take the proof into consideration and it had to sit well with whatever Jacob would pick for tonight.

_Hard stuff or weak? 40% or under 20%? _

I had my answer when my fingers brushed across a dusty, unopened bottle of red liquid.

_Sour puss, it is._

I pulled out the plastic bottle, plopped down on my bed and started downing the drink, hoping my buzz would hit me before the enviable hangover did. One day, when that hangover did hit me, I knew I would be very, _very _bad.

_Yeah, it's only had what? A month or two to accumulate?_ The voice started in, mocking me before noon.

I sat down on the window sill, light a cigarette and focused on the smoke rings, ignore the voice in my head. For some reason, I'd been able to ignore, destroy or suffocate any other parts of me but this one.

_You may be able to block me out with liquor, but you can never get rid of me. Not without destroying yourself, I'm the only part of you that's fighting to live, you kill me, you'll be killing yourself. _I groaned aloud, I knew my conscience was right, and I never won a battle with myself, so I did the only think I knew would give me temporary peace, I drank. So long as I stayed drunk, the voice stayed quiet.

I must have lost myself in these thoughts because when I got up to check the time, I realised I should have left ten minutes ago to meet Seth. I cursed under my breath and quickly grabbed my stuff, racing to the living room to tell the boys I'm leaving.

I stood behind the couch for a solid minute, some what amused that they were so deep into the television they didn't even know I was there. I cleared my throat loudly and they both shot out of their seats.

"I'm going out, back in a bit." I muttered, sort of annoyed I had to tell someone when I was leaving, even if it had been my idea.

"Where you going? I'll come with." Jasper said as a grin was about to break out on his face.

Before I could protest, Jacob bellowed, "Yeah, I'll come too. I wanted to get some beer anyways."

"No, you guys don't have to. I'll pick up the beer for you." I blurted out, hoping it didn't sound too harsh.

"Nah Chika, just let me get changed. Besides I doubt you could carry a two-four all the way home anyways." Jacob sprinted out of the room before I could refuse.

_Yup, he's so going down tonight._

I walked in silence as Jacob and Jasper argued and debated about trivial shit. When we finally rounded the corner to Seth's store, I headed toward the ally, hoping they wouldn't follow me.

But of course, Jasper, being Jasper just had to follow me, while Jacob was completely clueless and devoted to getting his beer.

"Allie!" Seth shouted from our usually sitting spot, and jumped up to greet me. "Oh and you brought someone with you." His enthusiasm didn't weaver, I guess this kid just likes people. "Hey Jasper!" He shouted went Jasper came into view.

"Hey Seth, how's it goin'?" Jasper chimed his usual greeting and sat down with us on the ground of the ally.

"Better, I was being to think you were gonna show." He chuckled, but there was a hint of nervousness in his voice, that betrayed his loneliness.

"Yeah well, I had to wait for these two assholes to get their make up on.-" I chuckled and lit a smoke, before realising only one of the 'assholes' was sitting next to me. "-Jake's in the store steeling beer by the way."

Seth laughed with a massive grin before grabbing my cigarette pack and plopping one between his lips. "I'll put it on his tab, along with the ten hundred bags of chips he's probably hoggin' down right now."

_And if you speak the devil's name, he shall appear._

Jake rounded the corner with an open bag of chips in his hand, "You talking trash about me again Seth?" He bellowed, his booming laughter echoing off the confinements of the ally walls.

"The trashiest." Seth retorted, trying desperately to hold back his signature grin as Jake sat on the ground next to him.

"Nah, he's just sayin' how you eat like a goddamn wolf." Jasper teased with a wicked smirk and a slight but sexy southern drawl. As if on cue, Jacob jumped up, crumpled the empty bag of chips and tossed it in the trash can before sitting back down.

"Damn still hungry." Jake laughed and jumped clumsily back to his feet before taking off to the front.

I flicked my finished cigarette and pulled the sour puss from my purse, taking a swig and wincing at the bitter sweet taste.

What I hadn't realised was both Jasper and Seth were watching me and chuckled softly at my reaction to the taste.

"You mean to tell me, little Miss Ali, you can drink whiskey, cognac or tequila straight from the bottle but you cringe at the taste of sour puss?" Jasper teased, nudging my side and faking a bewildered look.

"Yeah, I thought you said you don't drink that fruity shit?" Seth joined, forming an alliance with Jasper to mock me.

Again with perfect comedic timing, Jake returned to the mouth of the ally, booming with laughter as he neared us, "Hey! That's offensive, that shit ain't fruity. I happen to love sour puss." He plopped down next to Seth with an open bag of chips in one hand and a full bag tucked under his arm. Jake reached over Seth's lap, making Seth obviously and more than likely intentionally uncomfortable, and grabbed the plastic bottle.

These are the moments to live for, sitting in a dark, dirty ally with people who consider themselves your friends, drinking straight from the bottle and laughing together. Moments like these are the closest I'd ever have to true moments of friendship, the closest thing I'd ever have to normal.

Of course though, fate wouldn't allow me these moments for every long. The bell on the door rang, signalling a costumer and Seth hopped up.

"Sorry gotta go, see you guys tonight." He shouted as he ran to the month of the ally, quickly rounding the corner and disappearing from sight. I put my things in my purse and we slowly made our way to the street. Just as we stepped on the sidewalk, a little red car came flying around the corner, almost hitting us as they turned into the store's lot. A dark haired, dark skinned woman jumped out and I instantly recognised her as one of the dark haired clones.

"Yo Leah!" Jake shouted and stopped walking waiting for her reply, "Can I get a lift?"

When she nodded, he said his goodbyes and took off, sprinting in the direction of the red car.

"Guess its just you and me." Jasper mused and threw his arm over my shoulder hugging me to his side. I didn't say much as we walked, I let our closeness talk for itself. Right now, I was okay, I was with Jasper and I knew it wouldn't last, but right now, I was safe. So I gave up on protecting myself and let these moments happen because the pain can always be dulled with another drink. I know I shouldn't, but it hurt more denying these urges to be close to him, than it did when he leaves.

I didn't pay attention to where we headed, I just let Jasper led as I enjoyed this feeling before it was gone again. When I finally realised where he'd taken us, my heart swelled before I could stop it. We were back at the park, by the tree I'd first kissed him under.

J POV

I don't know what led me to the park, nor do I care, this was the first place she'd ever let me in, even if the majority of it was only sexual, there was that small moment when her walls collapsed and she opened up to me. _No, please not alone. Not again._ My heart pounded as I replayed her words over and over again. This was the only time she'd intentionally let me get to know her, this was the only time she'd showed me I was worth letting in and that there was something between us, something more than a physical attraction.

"Hey Ali?" I pulled her into my lap as we sat under the faithful tree.

She looked up at me under her lashes and I was taken back when I saw the crystal blue shade her eyes were, instead of the usual haunted grey-blue.

"Hmm, yes Jazzy?" She purred, causing a realisation to hit me. She only calls me Jazzy when we're alone and together, when we are ourselves and nothing else matters but us being together.

Her features twisted with concern and I snapped out of my thought, "Will you go to the party with me?" I sputtered out nervously.

"Uh, duh. Aren't I already?" Her puzzled expression told me she had no idea what I was really asking.

"As my date?" I blurted out and rubbed the back of my neck, trying to calm my shaky nerves.

"Oh." She whispered and her features fell into a sombre expression as she pursed her pouty lips into a thin line, "I don't know if that's such a good idea. I mean, don't you like what we have already? Why risk ruining it?"

"Oh, come on." I snapped sarcastically, the anger bubbled up inside me. The fact that she didn't want to ruin what we have was almost insulting. "What do we have eh? I'm pretty sure I can take you to one fucking party and still fuck you six ways to Sunday."

_Shit. Wait, that's not how its supposed to sound. _I mentally kicked myself because I just totally fucked this up.

"So far I've only counted three, on the desk, over the desk and on your lap."

_Say what, dirty-talking-under-sexed-cock-hungry-little-pixie? Shit, I'm not sure if she's an angel or a sin but damn I'd love to keep finding out._

"Tell you what pixie,-" I pulled her deeper into my lap, letting her feel my erection and pressing it against her ass, "-You be my date for the party and I'll show you the other three."

"Mr. Whitlock, is that a threat?" She ground into my lap, making it ten times harder and ten times harder to hold a conversation.

"No baby, it's a promise. You come with me to that party and I promise I'll show the other ways I'd like to fuck you." I don't know how I managed to get that out with her little ass rubbing my throbbing cock in the middle of a public park.

"Tell me Jazzy, tell me all the ways you'd like to fuck me." She purred seductively into my ear, pressing her perky tits against my chest. I tried hard to bite back a moan that her sexy purring was causing.

"Well D-Darlin',-" I stuttered trying to control my breathing, my hands, my mouth and my cock all at the same time as speaking. Images of what I was about to see flooded my brain, making it that much harder to say. "-Christ, I'd fuck you right up against this tree if you'd let me."

Her eyes boar into mine, and I could tell she was trying her hardest not to giggle. She knew what she does to me. "Tell me all the ways Jasper."

I released control of my lips and let them wonder the contours of her neck, "Well lets see Darlin'. I'd like to fuck you in my truck on the way to the party. I'd like to bent your fine ass over the couch, the table, the counter, or whatever I can, at the party.-" I bit down gently on her neck, trying to control myself before I really did press her up against the tree and fuck her right here, right now. "-I want you to wrap your legs around my waist while I fuck you on the bathroom counter. I'd like to pin you against the nearest wall and fuck your brains out right there.-" My hands gripped tightly around her hips, squeezing and holding her against my cock as she moaned and wiggled a little. "-I want to fuck that pretty little mouth of yours while I drive you home from the party, then take you and fuck you in my bed."

"Hmm, I'd like that." Alice moaned as a hand slid from her waist to rub the fabric between her legs. Suddenly she shifted in my lap and jumped to her feet before I could catch her and bring her back, "I guess I'd better get home and get ready. Sounds like I might have some stretching to do."

I shot up, wrapped her in my arms and pulling her into my chest as I growled in her ear, "Don't you dare. I'm going to be the one to get you all warmed up."

A POV

I said goodbye to Jasper at the park and walked home by myself to get dressed from the party. Now I had to rethink my entire outfit. I definitely can't wear a jean skirt, the fabrics too stiff, I need something light, something that can be bunched up around my hips with ease. The halter top must go as well, as easy as it is to get off, it's a bitch to get back on.

_Crap._ Even the black boots wont work, they are sexy as hell, but way to long and covers way to much skin. I huffed and almost thought about calling Bella before I realised what I was thinking.

_They're getting to you, aren't they?_ I cringed at the voice, it's true. I need distance, I need it now. I was actually considering calling someone for fashion advice. I really need to get operation get-the-hell-out-of-Forks under way. Or maybe I can have friends...

_Her fist connected with my cheek as the blood pooled in my mouth from her previous punches. _

"_You're a worthless whore Mary Alice. I can't believe I was ever your friend. You don't deserve friends, you cock sucking twat." _

_Before I could open my swollen eyes, something hard connected with my ribs, over and over, knocking the air from my lungs, leaving me breathless on the cold pavement. _

"_Fight back!" She screamed and kicked me again, I would have done as she asked, I would have given her want she wanted, but I couldn't move, it hurt. _

_I squeezed my eyes closed and prayed to a non existent God, when I saw her boot coming towards my eyes, then everything when black. _

Jane was right, I don't deserve friends. I'll only hurt them, they'll only hurt me. I'm a toxin, a poison, and a disease, and I'll only ever be capable of hurting people. I already have to hurt them, but at least when I leave, it will be last time they hurt because of me.

I knew what I had to do. I knew tonight would be the last time I can ever be around these people. I knew I'd have to push everyone away after tonight.

_Why not just do it tonight and get it over with?_

I pondered my conscience's question, and I couldn't avoid the truth any longer, I had to admit it, at least if only to myself. I needed one more night, one last time to feel loved, to feel cared about, to feel like I matter. I couldn't do it tonight because I was scared.

I slipped on a short, black, strapless dress and a pair of six inch, red, peep-toe pumps and I was ready. Ready to fool myself into believe after tonight, I could leave. I would leave, even if it too my everything, I would leave.

I finished the bottle of sour puss, perched on the window sill and lit a cigarette, hoping to stop the snaky in my fingers before my date, before the party.

_Oh crap. I agreed to a date with Jasper. _My body trembled as if I was having a seizer. _Shit. Jasper. _

Their was a dark laughter echoing through my thoughts, _You know if you leave you're leaving Jasper too?_ I flicked at the thought but I refused to believe it. _So?_ I retorted, fighting with my mind again, like a lunatic.

_You have really lost it now Alice. Its one thing to fight with your brain, but it's another to deny the fact that you care very deeply about Jasper and you wish he cared the same for you. Don't forget, I'm a part of you, and if I know it, then its true._

I tried desperately to separate my conscience from me, to make it a different entity, to remove it from me and make it it's own physical being so it wasn't a part of who I am anymore, but it fought me every step of the way.

_No. no. no._ I retorted aloud, seeing as I was alone. Its one thing to talk to yourself when your alone, but another to do it in front of people. At least when you're alone, you're the only one who knows your crazy.

As pathetic as it is, I will trick myself into believing I don't care about him and that he doesn't care about me. I had to, needed to believe this, I couldn't end up hurting Jasper in the way I'd hurt everyone else. I wouldn't be able to bare a look of disappointment from him, it would hurt more than leaving itself.

If I hurt Jasper, I wouldn't be able to live with myself.

So, I had to believe I didn't care about him, even if I had to force myself to believe it.

My thoughts were cut off abruptly by the quiet purring of a large engine, which was only quiet in comparison to the size of the truck. I grabbed my stuff and raced to the door, hoping for his sake, he'd wait in the car.

"Hello Sir, is Miss Alice home please?" Jasper southern drawl filled the hallway, and I picked up my pace, trying to get to him before my dad find out it's a date and rips him a new one.

I rounded the corner just in time to hear the words come out of my father's mouth, "Who the hell are you?"

_Shit. _I tried to hide the seemingly inevitable blush, but my cheeks caught fire all the same. "Dad this is Jasper. I'm going out." I croaked and tugged on Jasper's jacket.

"Hold on a minute Alice. Jasper why don't you go take a seat in the living room, I'd like to have a word with my daughter."

Before I could protest or physically force Jasper's ass out of the house, he replied with a, "Yes Sir." and did as my father said.

"Alice, I'd like to have a word with you and your…uh,-" He furrowed his brows and I had a sneaking suspicion he thought Jasper was my boyfriend, but wasn't willing to say the words. "-friend?"

I didn't wait around to hear what other things he wouldn't say in front of Jasper, instead I just huffed and stormed into the living room.

I sat down on the couch next to Jasper, far enough away so we didn't look intimate but close enough so my father knew I was protective of Jasper.

My father grumbled something unintelligible and sat in the armchair across from the couch, his eyes locked on Jasper.

"Look Dad, you got five minutes before Jasper and I are late for the party. So talk." I sneered, becoming more and more annoyed with each second he didn't say anything.

"Well Jasper,-" He spat his name as if he'd been chewing on it for too long. "-What are you plans for this evening?"

I couldn't believe the nerve my father had, he wasn't only giving Jasper the third degree, he was already accusing him of who knows what.

"Sir, let me stop you right there. If by that you would like to know my intentions with your daughter, well I have none. It took me a lot of begging and pleading to get Alice to agree to go out with me, and I'll be damned if I do something to mess it up with her or with you." My father seemed to relax slightly at Jasper's words, but he didn't let up on his strong face. After my father had a good long stare at Jasper, _If looks could kill…_he turned his attention to me, with the same dead lock focus he has when his football team is losing, I swear I was preparing myself for the screaming. "Alice, you are _not_ going out dress like that with…_him._" My fathers words should have pissed me off, but I felt laughter boil up inside me and spill out into fits of arrogant giggles.

Jasper cleared his throat loudly, hinting to me to cut it out, but I didn't. So he turned to face me with a concerned expression, "Alice, your father's right. I think you should change, I want to spend time with you instead of spending the night constantly chasing off the competition." Jasper smirked his delicious croaked smirk and ran his fingers through the honey blonde waves. My father glared at him for a second but reluctantly agreed.

I lost it when I realised they were ganging up on me, I got up and flipped them each a middle finger, before verbalizing it, "Fuck you both."

I waited at the entrance to the living room for Jasper to get up but he didn't. I had a feeling he wouldn't move until my father told him to. "She's a little bit of a hothead." My father muttered with a tiny, hardly noticeable smile.

Jasper snorted loudly but smiled back at him, "With all due respect Sir, that's an understatement, your girl's damn spitfire."

My jaw hit the floor when my father actually chuckled, I stood there gapping at him as Jasper politely said goodbye to him.

When we got outside I was still in shock and as soon as the door closed behind Jasper, I jumped in front of him, cutting him off mid stride. "How the hell did you get him to actually laugh in there? I thought he was for sure going to kill you."

Jasper shrugged and shot me a lazily smirk, "I've always been good at calming people down, pissing them off, you just gotta learn what buttons to push."

I followed Jasper to the car as my mind kept bring me back to my thoughts on the window sill. I tried not to let him effect me emotionally but when he did the simplest thing, like opening my door for me, my heart swelled.

_Personally, I blame that damn southern charm. _I almost groaned aloud when I realised the Sour Puss was wearing off.

_Yeah, try explaining that to him, what would you say? That you heard a voice in your head that you groan and talk too?_ My conscience mocked my insanity, but I gritted my teeth and bared it.

Jasper shuffled around with something in the backseat before tossing a bundle of heavy fabric at me and starting the car.

"What the fuck's this?" I hissed when I realised he just through a damn sweater at me as an oh-so-subtle hint.

"A sweater, encase you uh…-" He took a minute to search for his answer, but I already knew it, "get cold?"

"I don't feel cold." I snorted and through his damn sweater at him.

"Oh, uh…but its chilling and…-"

I didn't give him a chance to finish, I cut him off with a harsh tone, "Think about it Jasper. You were the one who asked if we ever had a sober conversation. I don't physically feel cold, _ever._" _Run like hell, run now, so I don't have to. _I mentally crossed my fingers that this would be enough. That he would leave me, so I didn't have to leave him.

"Well Alice, I really don't care about the cold, I was trying to be polite, now can you just put the fucking sweater on?" His eyes narrowed as he through the sweater back at me and growled, "Or I'll put it on you."

I couldn't help it, I had to say it, "Do it."

Jasper sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Alice, don't be difficult. I can't very well pin you down and put the sweater on you, right in front of your father's house."

"You can if you want me to wear the sweater." I quipped and was suddenly shot back into my seat as Jasper floored the gas petal and I closed my eyes. I knew this feeling, I didn't like this feeling.

_Everything was flying past, I couldn't see anything, or maybe I was flying. I couldn't tell, all I could tell was my sharp curve was coming up, and I wasn't going to make it around it. I locked my hands on the wheel, my knuckles turning white as my eyes stayed locked on the cliff. _

_My vision flickered suddenly, there was a tree, large enough to do it. _

_Did I really want to risk not drowning? Or maybe if I just aimed for that tree. I spun the wheel away from the sharp curve. This is it…Be in forever soon mom. _

_Then it was black, but there was no forever, only a white light, briefly memorizing me. So there is a God, how could I have not known, I see the light. _

_Then there was beeping, a rhythmic, constant and irritating beeping. _

_Then there was chaos, people running, people screaming as my vision slowly become clear and I saw him. _

_What was he doing here? No, no, no! This is right, he can't be here, I'm… I'm, "I'm dead." _

"_No baby, stay with me, you here, I'm here, you're going to be okay baby." My father's frantic voice crushed my hope, the tears streaming from his eyes let me know this was real. I wasn't dead…I survived. _

"STOP!" I screamed, not even remembering were I was. The scenery stopped moving around me and something warm twisted around my waist, pulling me.

"Shhh, baby it's okay, I'm here, I'm right here." A soothing voice flooded my ears.

"J-J-Jasper?" I stumbled, gasping, panting for air.

"It's me Alice, I'm here." I grasped on his jacket, hanging on as if my life depended on it because right now, it did.

"W-Why d-did they save me?" I stuttered, whispering so softly, half hoping he wouldn't hear. I knew he did though, his grip became impossibly tight around me as if he were trying to hold me down to this world I wanted desperately to escape, just like my mother had. "I-I just wanted to be with her." My eyes swelled as the sobs forced against my chest. A single tear rolled down my cheek, as he held me there, letting me hurt and not saying a word.

* * *

**A/N: Jacob is definitely my favorite character in this fic... weird part is, I hate him in the books and movies.**

**I never thought I'd be an author that says this, but reviews do make me post sooner... just sayin'. **

**PS. Its going to get really interesting really soon. I want reviews, and trust me, you guys are definitely going to want quicker updates. (:**


	8. A Dedication

**Disclaimer: You know the drill, SM owns the characters I insist on using in my crazy plot. Also, Tupac Shakur owns Dear Mama.**

**Thanks to all that reviewed, you know I love you guys right?**

**Also, I'd like to make one tiny, little request... Please, please don't skip over the lyrics in his chapter, they are very significant, and I chose them for a reason. **

**For those who dislike rap, I understand, most of it is crap today, but Tupac Shakur wasn't just a rapper or a gangster or a thug, he was a poet. His songs held so much heart, so much passion, and truth, I recommend his music to anyone, rap fan or not. **

**If you'd like to listen to the song, go on youtube and look up Dear Mama by Tupac. **

**May he Rest in Peace knowing he did change the world by changing at least one person in it. **

**This A/N is a little long, I know, but I can't have a Tupac song in my story and not write a little about the father of Thug Life. **

**So back to the story, for all of you who hate Rosalie, brace yourselves. You'll understand why she is who she is after this chapter.**

**And as always, ENJOY!**

**xo**

* * *

J POV

"W-Why d-did they save me?" My heart ripped, threatening to break into two. "I-I just wanted to be with her." I couldn't say anything, I just held her, terrified that if I let her go, she'd be gone, she'd be gone from this world and onto the next and I just couldn't let her go now, not now, not ever. I wish I was able to tell her she was loved, to tell her not to go, to never go, to stay here with me forever, but all I could do was hold her. If I told her any of this, she would run, I'd push her off the edge, I'd lose her forever. I felt her shivering in my arms, and I regretted not forcing the sweater on her.

"J-Jas,-" she panted, I squeezed her to let her know I'm here. "-I'm sorry."

"Its okay baby." I ran my fingers through her short brown, hair trying to sooth her without having to let her go.

"You have to let me go Jasper." She mumbled cryptically, as if she and I both knew it was coming, even if I refused to believe it.

"I never will." I whispered so softly I doubt she even heard. She shuffled back to her seat and gapped at me.

_Well, I guess she heard. _

Her eyes went wild, a fire burned and raged in her eyes but she didn't say anything, she just stared out the window, no doubt wishing she had a drink right now.

We pulled up to Rosalie's and I waited for Alice's reaction. Usually when people first saw Rosalie's house, they instantly understood her personality. It was massive, ostentatious and totally fitting for my dear second cousin's the-world-owe-me personality. To say Rosalie was spoil, well that's an understatement the size of her house. I'm pretty sure their money and Rose's parent's career choices where the reason I was the only one who actually talked to that side of the family. Mom never admitted anything, but we'd all heard the rumours, and I'm sure that's why she refuses to talk to her cousin, Rose's mom.

"Nice place." Alice muttered reluctantly but didn't seem all that impressed.

"Yeah, her parent's are uh, connected." I mumbled and took her hand, leading her to the front door, but not before getting my sweater on her.

When the door closed behind us, Rosalie appeared, "Hey Cousin, oh hi Alice." She grabbed my arm, whispering intentionally loudly, "What the hell is she doing here?"

Alice cleared her throat loudly and Rosalie's eyes snapped to her. _This chick isn't scared of anything, not even the ice queen herself. _I was impressed. "Rosalie, why don't you be a good hostess and go get me a drink?"

Rose's eyes bugged out of her head at Alice's request. "You're joking right?"

Alice didn't even blink, she just stared back at Rosalie with a blank expression. "You got some balls Pixie. You're alright." Rosalie chuckled with a massive grin, finally accepting she'd met her match.

"What's crackin' Sun?" Emmett's booming voice neared and he wrapped Alice up in a big hug but was cut off by Rose's glare.

We hadn't even made it out of the entrance before Edward and Bella found us. Bella instantly flung her arms around Alice, hugging her so tightly it was as if they'd been best friends for years. Edward just nodded once, but a sly smile peeked through his cool façade as if they had their own inside joke or something.

"Chika!" Jacobs figure appeared in front of us as he noticeably undressed Bella with his eyes before his eyes greeted Alice. I was ready to rip his eyes out if he looked at Alice like he did to Bella, but he didn't, his eyes held nothing but respect for Alice.

"Allie, Jasper! How's it going guys?" I hadn't even noticed Seth behind Jacob's massive form. He squeezed past and gave Alice a small, but little brother like hug.

"So Whitlock, time to start placing bets with the bookie." Jacob slapped his hand on Emmett's shoulder, signalling Emmett was booking for tonight.

"What's the buy in?" Alice looked between Rosalie and Emmett with a cautious expression.

"Oh honey, if you have to ask, _you_ couldn't afford it." Rosalie's ice façade came back as she tossed her long blonde her over her shoulder.

"How much?" Alice hissed, catching Rose's attention.

"Five c'notes Shortie." Emmett boomed and Alice dug in her purse.

"Thanks for the support Chika, I wont let you down." Jacob chirped. _So, I guess he still doesn't know, this should be interesting. _

"What the hell you talkin' bout Jake? I was gonna bet on the competition." Alice laughed, a mischievous smile played at the corners of her lips, and Seth had almost the same expression. _Okay, so I guess Seth knows. _

"Don't waste your money Chika, I ain't been beat before, and I definitely ain't never been or ever will be beat by a chick." I knew Jacob's smug smirk was about to set Alice off, I just wish I had a chair and popcorn to watch the show.

"Well Sugar, you ain't never been drinking against this Chika before." Alice's proclamation was followed by five gasps, five pairs of gawking eyes and one falling smug smirk.

"You Chika? You're my opponent? Christ you couldn't even hold six beers yesterday." Jacob bellowed with laughed and Alice gritted her teeth.

A POV

I swallowed my anger and slapped on my poker face.

_This means war._ and for once, my conscience and I were on the same page. War it is indeed.

"So what are we drinking?" I shrugged off this last remark, not letting him see how much it bothered me.

"You tell me Chika, no matter what you pick, I'll down ten times the amount you can, in half the time."

By now the party was starting to fill out, but not enough people were placing bets with Emmett, so much to Rosalie's dismay, I climbed up and stood on the table in the middle of the big room.

"Listen up everyone. I'm challenging Jacob Black to a drinking contest. He names the game and drink. All bets have to be placed with Emmett within the next hour."

I was about to climb off the table when Jake came up next to me, with his booming voice, he didn't even have to shout over the music, "We're drinkin' Jack Chika, in honor of the southern gentleman who put you up to this defeat and no game, just shots Girly."

_Perfect. _My conscience and I mentally hissed in unison.

I watched my prey file into a neat line, dump their cash with Emmett than file it out, it was all going perfectly as planned, but I wanted more.

"Yo Big, would a home girl be getting a taste of the doe?" I perched up on the side of the table, showing a little to much leg, hoping to get my cut for all the bluffing I did.

"Take that up wit your man Sun. when ma books be closed, your man gon' be placin' da final bet, which gonna clean house."

"So you mean no one's bet on me?" Emmett nodded and I was a tad insulted, but this was the plan, and if it stayed that way, Jasper would bet the equal amount of what everyone else has bet on Jacob, then Jas and I would take the winnings.

I stayed their and watched as Jasper placed the winning bet and Emmett closed his book.

Rosalie was setting up as Jake and I took seats across the table. A hand landed on my shoulder and I spun around to Seth, grinning like a sneaky fool. "I just wanted to say good luck Jake, trust me bro, you're gonna need it. A last word of advice though, do not underestimate her." And Seth's words were Jacob's last chance to humble up and focus on the challenge. Jake snorted and I knew I'd just won.

_Rule number one of war, never, ever underestimate your opponent. _

_Rule number two of war, don't celebrate your victory too soon Jacob Black. _

"Now. First to puke, pass out or give up loses. Got it?" Rosalie announced in her usual icy tone. We each had twenty full shot glasses line up in front of us and a half empty bottle of Jack waiting to refill the glasses.

"Hey Rose, can I just drink from the bottle when I empty the shots?" I mused with a cocky twinge to my voice. She looked at Jacob, who nodded in agreement before she said, "Sure just don't puke on the carpet."

"1, 2, 3 Go." Rose shouted.

I moved my body down the length of the table, pausing to take each shot and flip them upside-down. I started by matching Jacob shot for shot, but quickly took the lead then I was at the bottle. Twenty shots went down easy, twenty shots had hit me until I started with the bottle. I could see Jacob on his fifteen I think as I pressed my lips to the bottle, and pretended this was my first drink of the day. I guess he must have noticed I was already at the bottle and picked up the pace, because I looked up again he was chugged straight from the bottle and we were neck at neck.

_Hell no! Your not going to let this sexist, arrogant bastard beat you! You didn't spend a fortune on booze and weeks being drunk only to be beaten at what you do best. _And there it was, my motivation to finish the bottle, beat Jacob and drown the voice once and for all.

**BAM! **I slammed the empty bottle down on the table and everything went dead silent, no one made a sound, hell I don't think anyone every breathed, but I sworn I heard the faint shattering of a certain party boy's ego, come crashing down around him.

That was quickly cover up by Rosalie's shouting, I wasn't surprised that she didn't try to hide her shock, at all. "Holy shit, we have a winner!" Everyone clapped lazily, but most just grumbled, booed and groan. No doubt pissed because they lost a lot of money.

A large pair of hairs wrapped around my waist and hoisted me up into the air. I was about to swat Emmett away, when he appeared in front of the crowd. I spun around just as the person who was lifting me placed on the their shoulders.

"_Damn Chika_, I didn't know you had it in you." Jacob slurred with a proud grin. When Jake let me down, Jasper appeared next to us with a cocky smirk. "Shit Whitlock, you got me."

"Well a southern gentleman knows, never bet against a determined woman. It'll only make her want to win that much more." Just as Jasper was speaking, another guy I recognised from Spanish appeared in front of us.

"Fuck Jake. Why'd you let her win?" The boy sneered but in a sibling manner and Jake threw his hands up in defeat.

"Sam man, I didn't _let _her. She won." Jake announced and the guys Sam's eyes bugged out of his head before he disappeared into the crowd.

I stumbled over to an empty couch and plopped down, kicking my feet out from under me as if I'd just ran a marathon. Jasper dropped beside me, throwing his arm over my shoulders and hugging me to his side. I suddenly caught eyes with Edward just then I noticed Emmett whispering in Edward's ear while his eyes flickered in my direction. I watched Edward nod, and Emmett take the microphone. "Listen up all y'all mofos. This beat be dedicated to ma west coast rida, Sun. She be da ballin'-est chick up in dis bitch, mad props to ma thug life G."

I looked around the room quickly. _And, Yup, I'm the only one who understand a word Emmett had said._

The bass swelled through the speakers and I froze. _No, not this one, anyone one, but not this one. _

**You are appreciated**

I was screaming at my legs to move, run, panic, scream do anything, but I couldn't move. I could do nothing but mumble each word as it came out of the speaker, and live in the pain.

"**When I was young me and my mama had beef**

**Seventeen years old kicked out on the streets**

**Though back at the time, I never thought I'd see her face**

**Ain't a woman alive that could take my mama's place**

**Suspended from school; and scared to go home, I was a fool**

**with the big boys, breakin all the rules**

**I shed tears with my baby sister**

**Over the years we was poorer than the other little kids**

**And even though we had different daddy's, the same drama**

**When things went wrong we'd blame mama**

**I reminice on the stress I caused, it was hell**

**Huggin on my mama from a jail cell**

**And who'd think in elementary?Heeey! I see the penitentiary, one day**

**And runnin from the police, that's right**

**Mama catch me, put a whoopin to my backside**

**And even as a crack fiend, mama**

**You always was a black queen, mama**

**I finally understandfor a woman it ain't easy tryin to raise a man**

**You always was committed**

**A poor single mother on welfare, tell me how ya did it**

**There's no way I can pay you backBut the plan is to show you that I understand**

**You are appreciated."**

Someone had my arm, pulling me, my legs compiled this time as I was dragged out of the room. I could see anything, thoughts, faces, voices didn't register. All I could hear was Tupac fading off into the distance.

**Lady... Don't cha know we love ya? Sweet lady**

**Dear mama**

**Place no one above ya, sweet lady**

**You are appreciated**

**Don't cha know we love ya?**

Someone's shaking me, but I can't move, I can feel my mother's soft hands holding me there. I can't see anything but my mother's wild red hair and emerald green eyes. I still can't hear anything but Dear Mama.

**Now ain't nobody tell us it was fair**

**No love from my daddy cause the coward wasn't there**

**He passed away and I didn't cry, cause my anger**

**wouldn't let me feel for a stranger**

**They say I'm wrong and I'm heartless, but all along**

**I was lookin for a father he was gone**

**I hung around with the Thugs, and even though they sold drugs**

**They showed a young brother loveI moved out and started really hangin**

**I needed money of my own so I started slangin**

**I ain't guilty cause, even though I sell rocks**

**It feels good puttin money in your mailbox**

**I love payin rent when the rent's due**

**I hope ya got the diamond necklace that I sent to you**

**Cause when I was low you was there for me**

**And never left me alone because you cared for me**

**And I could see you comin home after work late**

**You're in the kitchen tryin to fix us a hot plate**

**Ya just workin with the scraps you was given**

**And mama made miracles every Thanksgivin**

**But now the road got rough, you're alone**

**You're tryin to raise two bad kids on your own**

**And there's no way I can pay you back**

**But my plan is to show you that I understand**

**You are appreciated**

I tried to breath through the chorus, but even my lungs wouldn't take in enough air, I tried harder and harder, but the air just wasn't there. Her voice flooded my mind, the velvet melody calmly singing, _Yesterday, today, tomorrow and forever. _

**Pour out some liquor and I reminsce, cause through the drama**

**I can always depend on my mama**

**And when it seems that I'm hopeless**

**You say the words that can get me back in focus**

**When I was sick as a little kid**

**To keep me happy there's no limit to the things you did**

**And all my childhood memories**

**Are full of all the sweet things you did for me**

**And even though I act craaazy**

**I gotta thank the Lord that you made me**

**There are no words that can express how I feel**

**You never kept a secret, always stayed real**

**And I appreciate, how you raised me**

**And all the extra love that you gave me**

**I wish I could take the pain away**

**If you can make it through the night there's a brighter day**

**Everything will be alright if ya hold on**

**It's a struggle everyday, gotta roll on**

**And there's no way I can pay you back**

**But my plan is to show you that I understand**

**You are appreciated**

Everything came back, I could see Bella staring at me with panic in her wide chocolate eyes, chaos and fear in her voice as she shook me frantically, but mostly, I could feel the tears sting my eyes on the verge of spilling over.

"Alice? Alice, say something." She screamed as the panic in her eyes quickly turned to tears of fear.

"Bell," I panted, gasping for breath I cannot seem to retain. Before I could think, hide or compose a masked façade, I whispered the true, when I would have slept better with a lie, "Thank you." "Oh thank god Ali, you really freaked the crap outta me. When I heard the…well yeah, when I heard, I knew I had to get you out. Those to idiots, do you want me to go yell at them? 'Cause I will. Actually I think I'm going to." She turned to go back to the party but I shot up and grabbed her sleeve frantically.

"No. Don't Bella. No one else knows, I don't want _anyone_ to know. Please, just don't say anything." I emphasis but she missed my double meaning when I said anyone. She missed the fact that I was referring to her.

"Okay, okay, I wont say a word, I'm sorry my tongue got away from me. Do you want me to stay with you?" She glanced back at the door, subconsciously hinting she'd rather go inside.

"No, I want to be alone." I muttered and shooed her off. I pulled out my cigarettes and silently cursed the fact that I didn't have a drink in my hand.

Just as the flame of my lighter grazed the tip of the cigarette, someone plopped down next to me and the drink I'd silently wished for at me. "You looked like you needed it." Rosalie muttered reluctantly and I took a sip of her peace offering.

"Yeah, thanks." I mumbled with the same unwilling tone.

Rosalie raised her glass and stared off absentmindedly into the nothingness, "To the ones who have failed us and the ones we will fail. To every sin, demon and deep dark secret, to the shame of showing pain and to the pride of hidden strength. To being kicked and kicking others. To the deserving and the undeserving.-" Rosalie stopped their and looked me dead in the eye as I gawked at her, "-To bad people, the God that lets them be and the cold world we reside in, may we all burn come time." She took a large gulp from her plastic red cup as I watched her, completely stunned. I finally snapped out of it enough to take a sip after her, but not enough to bring my eyes back into their sockets.

"You hold yourself every well, here I thought you were just a psycho path.-" I cut her off with my catch phrase apparently, "Fuck off Rosalie, I don't want to deal with this shit right now."

I had no expectations that she would listen to me, I knew her type, I may not have known her, but I knew the type, rich, spoiled, popular, stubborn and narcissistic, everything I used to be. What I didn't expect though was an apology, well a 'Rosalie apology', "Look, I'm not trying to uh, well as Emmett would say, 'cause beef with you.' I just wanted to, well never mind forget it." Rosalie huffed in self defence, her walls were breaking, the ice melting, and I could see a glimpse of what she was hiding.

"Spit it out Rosalie." I hissed, hoping she would punch me, walk away or kick me out, anything but open up to me.

"Don't get all fucking pissy with me Alice, you're not the only one with baggage. What I was trying to say was that I see right through you. No, wait, that's not right,-" She paused to think for a moment and I was completely fantasized by her crumbling cool façade. "I mean I know what its like to want to be alone but being totally afraid people will give up on you and stop fighting to break down your walls."

"I don't what to talk Rose." I groaned when I realised this was the same trap Edward and Bella had tried to pull me into.

"So don't, listen. You know, maybe I'd like someone to dump my shit on sometime. No one asks me. Everyone's just to afraid to piss me off, but no one thinks that maybe I'd like to talk about it, maybe I'm tired of carrying all the weight myself. Maybe I just want someone who could fucking understand. And I don't know why Alice, but I have this weird feeling of respect for you. It's like I could tell you were hurting, but you carry yourself with so much pride, and control. That's why I told you to stay away from Emmett, because, you reminded me of well…me and that's why I hit you in class. It wasn't because of who you are, well yes it is, it was because I saw me in you." Her eyes held regret and shame, but no judgement, something I'd more than expect from Rosalie, but she wasn't judging me, she was analyzing me, like she was trying to figure me out instead of deciding what I am to her.

"Did you ever think I don't want to understand Rosalie? That maybe you can't just burden others with your problems, that they're yours for a reason?" Even I knew it was harsh, but I in no way wanted to bring another person into my mess, even if it was the ice queen herself.

"It's impossible for you not to understand, and if I just sit here and talk, you'll have to hear me, even if you pretend not to, I know you will. I know you don't want help, and I'm not trying to give it to you, so don't push me away because I'm in no way pushing you for anything but an ear." Her voice was pleaded, her eyes begged me to listen, and I would have came back with a snaky remark, if I weren't so shocked by her suddenly weak composer.

"Fine. Talk." I whispered with a tint of venom.

"You know you broke my nose?-" She muttered passively but shot me a teasing smirk. "-My father got me a new one, but I liked my old one much better, even if it was slightly croaked. My mother insisted I get it fixed, I believe her exact words were, 'Rosie you_ were_ so beautiful, don't you want to be beautiful again?' So I let them put plastic in my face, so she would be happy." Her tone was tainted with regret as she took a huge swig from her cup, probably trying to find courage at the bottom.

"Do you know what my parents do for a living?" I shook my head, even though Jasper had told me a bit about it. "Well, well, I see Forks gossip mill is losing it's edge. Well, my mother and Jasper's mom are siblings, but they refuse to talk to me or my parents. I have uncles that show up at all hours of the night, but my real family refuse to even talk to me, except for Jasper. These 'uncles' are business associates of my father's and they also work in 'waste management.' My mother doesn't work, so if you're brighter than you look, I'm sure you can figure out there isn't that much more in the garbage business."

"Yeah, someone told me they thought your parents were connected." I muttered, trying to keep up my end of the conversation.

"Yeah. I can't go into details on it though. I've seen to many 'uncles' go to jail because they thought they could trust someone, and I just don't know you well enough." She mumbled apologetically, but a sad irony quickly dawned on me.

"Wasn't Bella's dad a cop? As in Jasper's uncle? As in your mother's brother?" I tried not to laugh at the twisted hand of fate, one family member an officer of the land, the other a member of organized crime.

"Yes and that was the only time I got to see uncle Charlie, when he was arresting my father at my soccer games, my ballet recitals and in the middle of Sunday dinners. One thing I will forever be in debt to uncle Charlie, was that he would always hold off the officers until my game or recital or whatever was done, but I'd always see him there, and I knew, I knew he was there to take my father."

She seemed grateful, angry and guilty all at once. As if she was grateful for the embarrassment he spared them, angry that he took her father from her and guilty for something I just couldn't figure out.

"Can I tell you something Alice, something I've never told anyone, not even Emmett?" She whispered, all traces of anger and appreciation gone, all that reminded was guilt. By not answering and remaining quiet, I gave her my answer.

She let out a long sigh and started fidgeting with the rim of her cup "Jasper and Bella don't know, so you can never tell them. Their parents do, and they haven't told them for my benefit. They don't blame me, so they don't think I should reek the consequences, because Jasper and Bella will surely hate me if they ever found out. Well, Bella already does but whatever." She paused and started breathing heavily.

"I wont say a word Rosalie.-" I whispered, but I knew it wasn't enough, I knew I'd have to give her something in exchange, something she couldn't tell anyone. I bit my lip and cursed whatever fate had push Rosalie to come to me, "I'll keep your secret so long as you keep mine." Her head shot up and I knew now I had her interest, now I was speaking her language.

I let out a shaky sigh and blurted it out before I could change my mind, "I'm leaving Forks."

"Can I come?" _Wait, what?_ The last thing I expected from Rosalie was desperate eyes, looking for an escape.

"Uh,- what I mean is I'm getting expelled and hopefully sent far away to a boarding school, or something." I stuttered, hoping she'd get the hint.

"Please, can I go with you? Can I get expelled with you? Can I get the hell out of here too?" She was begging now, her eyes on the brim of tears as her chest heaved trying to hold back the sobs. I'd never actually considered an accomplice before, but if I did, it would be someone like Rosalie, I mean I know I couldn't hurt Rosalie, and even if I managed to, she would hurt me right back. "Uh, um, I don't know Rose."

"My father killed uncle Charlie." She blurted out, partly as a confession, but partly as a way to convince me. "Please Alice, I have money, I have enough that we could go anywhere in the world, and pay for us to finish school and not have to work until we're well into our thirties. I have enough to paid for both of us to go to Harvard or Dartmouth. Please let me come with you."

Even though I know I shouldn't care, even though she is the royal ice queen herself, the bitch that punched me in the face, and the epitome of spoiled rotten, I couldn't help but hurt for her. Watching someone so strong, someone who has everything, who worked their whole life to hide how bad their life was, how guilty they were, it hurt to see them begging, begging for an escape and someone to help them.

"Why do you think I understand you?" I whispered softly, the usual edge to my voice disappeared and I was genuinely curious.

"Your eyes are tarnish, I know you've seen dead. I know guilt, so do you I think, guilt over the lose of a human life. All I have, everything I own, someone died for. My father has killed, even his own family, my mother knows about it, but the money is _too_ good. But it's all blood money. Everything I have is covered in blood. I have to look in the mirror everyday for the rest of my life and see the blood on my face, right smack where my nose used to be. I have to look at Bella everyday, knowing I'm the reason she doesn't have a father anymore, knowing I took the one person who loved her conditionally from her. So please Alice, let me come with you, I can help I swear, I'll pay for everything, just…-" Her cool, icy façade completely melted and all that was let was half hopeless, tired and desperate begging eyes. "-just help me Alice."

_FUCK!_ "Fine Rosalie, but if you tell _anyone_, even Emmett, I'm leaving without you." I hissed and her desperate eyes filled with hope. "But are you sure you want to leave Emmett?"

She looked down at the ground and shook her head, "No, but are you sure you want to leave Jasper?"

"I have to." I confessed and Rosalie shot me a sad smile.

"I know, I have to leave Emmett too."

Rosalie was right, I understood and I didn't have sympathy or pity for her, because she was right again, I couldn't have sympathy or pity for myself, so I couldn't have it for her.

I'd found my other moon.

"Rosie baby, I be lookin' for yeah." Emmett's voice rang from behind us and our attention both snapped to him.

"Coming babe." I could hear the remorse in her voice, but I couldn't think did because his attention quickly turned to me.

"Sun, ma boy Jas be lookin' for yeah." He boomed and tucked Rosalie securely under his arm.

_You know he loves her. You'll be hurting him more by taking her from him._ My conscience mocked wickedly.

_It's her life. She can do what she wants. It's not my problem._ I quipped internally and followed them inside.

I found Jasper sitting on a different couch, with the blonde clones sitting on either side of him. By the look on his face, I don't think he was enjoying the company, he looked rather disturbed and disgusted. I took pity on him and decided to save him from his tormenters. I sauntered off, stopping directly in front of him.

"Hey sorry Baby, I just had to talk to Bella a moment…oh hi." Jasper shot from his seat, wrapping his arms securely around my waist and holding me in front of him.

"Oh that's okay sweetie. Have you meet Jessica and Lauran?" I nodded and the clones muttered something rude in unison, "We'd better go find Emmett, he was looking for you." Jasper rushed out and waved bye to the slutty clones, cursing under his breath and muttering something about diseases as he pulled me away.

J POV

I watched as Emmett climbed into the DJ's booth and made a fool of himself with a song dedication to Alice. I think I was one of few people who actually knew that fact, and the only reason I understood what he was saying was because he called her 'Sun', otherwise, like usual, I wouldn't have had a clue.

The opening line to the song Emmett picked crashed through the speakers and Alice's body became tense under my arm. Out of no where Bella shows up and starts pulling on Alice. I pulled back, making Alice a rag doll between the two of us. When I looked in Bella's eyes, I froze, I'd never seen her like this before, a mix of protectiveness, fear, anger and a threat of danger, I gasped and subconsciously let her take Alice from me. In that moment, I knew if I didn't let Bella take Alice away, I'd regret it, timid, little Bella would make me regret it.

I watched Bella drag Alice's stiff, tense form through the room of dancing, grinding classmates, and out the door. I knew I wasn't welcome to join them, after living with Bella for so long, I knew girl talk when I saw it. So instead, I kicked back on the couch, enjoying the amount of space people had left me. I can't think of anything I hate more than crowds. I briefly wondered what had Alice so startled and afraid, but I found my answer when I scanned the crowd and quickly locked eyes with a smug James. _Son of a bitch._

I was about to get up when someone plopped down next to me, too close for comfort. A firm hand landed on my knee, holding me to the couch and for a brief second I was afraid it was one of the many Forks whores looking for something to _do_.

"Jasper don't." A soft voice whispered in my ear, oddly though the unease I'd felt was totally gone, and when I turned to see it was Rosalie sitting next to me, I understood why. I unwillingly obeyed, and didn't bother to ignore or argue with her, the consequences would probably worse than the reward. I could tell Rosalie wanted to ask me something, but I didn't address her, instead my eyes wondered to the DJ booth, where Tanya had taken her chance to be _some what _alone with Edward. _If only Bella knew how Tanya acted in science. _I've debated telling her many, many times to watch out for Tanya, but Edward always seemed once step ahead of her and capable of controlling the situation, which my timid, hothead of a cousin wouldn't be able too.

"Was she okay?" Rosalie broke me from my thoughts with an unfamiliar concern in her tone.

"What?" I asked, more about the foreign emotion in Rose's voice than what she'd actually said.

"Alice? She seemed to freeze up when Emmett dedicated a song to her." Rose muttered as the concern grew thicker.

Then it clicked as the lyrics to the slow pace rap song sunk in. I listened intensely and focused on the words.

**Pour out some liquor and I reminsce, cause through the drama**

**I can always depend on my mama**

**And when it seems that I'm hopeless**

**You say the words that can get me back in focus**

**When I was sick as a little kid**

**To keep me happy there's no limit to the things you did**

**And all my childhood memories**

**Are full of all the sweet things you did for me**

"_I-I just wanted to be with her" _My body tensed with alarm and I couldn't stay focused as her words repeated in my mind. I forced myself to continue listening.

**I wish I could take the pain away**

**If you can make it through the night there's a brighter day**

**Everything will be alright if ya hold on**

**It's a struggle everyday, gotta roll on**

I have to find her. No wonder she freaked out. Before I could find my ability to move, Rosalie darted from my side and the music stopped. My eyes landed on Bella's tense, fuming form as she pushed her way threw the crowd, eyes locked on an unsuspecting Tanya. I watched, along with everyone in the room as Bella grabbed a fist full of blonde hair and pulled Tanya off Edward's leg. Tanya stumbled backwards but didn't try to fight back, instead she staggered away, trying to fade into the parting crowd. Then Bella gave a grateful Edward a quick but territorial kiss and the music started up again.

I grabbed Bella's arm as she sauntered past, and pulled her down on the couch.

"Where's Alice?" I hissed as she rolled her guarded chocolate eyes.

"She wants to be alone Jasper. Let her be." Before I could press for more information the legendary party boy himself plopped down and slung his arm over Bella's shoulder.

"Hey Baby Bell, how's it goin'?" Jacob slurred lazily with a drunken smirk.

"Fuck off Jake, before Edward's the one doing the hair pulling." I chuckled motioning my head to the DJ booth were Edward's glare was focused on Jacob.

"Whoops, wouldn't wanna upset the Misses, see you 'round Baby Bell." Jacob teased and flung himself from the couch with a surprising amount of agility for such a big, drunken guy. As soon as Jacob fumbled across the room and out of sight, Bella dash to one pissed off Edward's side, no doubt attempting damage control. As I stayed witness to the events of their lover's quarrel, I was momentary sided tracked from my own situations and the whores of Forks took advantage of this. Before I could make a run for it, Jessica and Lauran jumped on the opportunity and two free spots on the couch, surrounding me. For a small moment, my ego swelled before I reminded myself, not just of Alice but also my double dipping in James' sauce rule or double dipping in general.

_Rule number one of whores, never stick it where it's already been. _

_Rule number two of whores, never, ever stick it where James's been._

"Jazzy where's your toy tonight?" Jessica's cat hiss, scratching voice ripped at my ears like claws.

"Go see James, I don't want what you're giving." I mocked, chuckling darkly at the implications and double meaning.

Lauran's hand ran slowly up my leg as she battled her ridiculous large lashes at me. "But Jas, you don't even know what we want to give."

I tried to subtly shake her hand off my leg, but her grip tightened. Times like these I curse my parents for raising me right and teaching me not to hit a woman or forcefully remove her hand, even if she is more plastic than woman.

"Thank you, but I'm not interested." I hissed politely through clenched teeth.

"Why? Is it because of the new tail you've been chasing lately?" Jessica snapped and whined in the same breath.

"Alice,-" I hissed as a caution, "-is my date." They rolled their eyes, no doubt in unison, these two always do _everything_ together. It's like they only have on brain between two pairs of tits. I briefly wondered if Mr. Petersburg would let me dissect these two as a science project, and see if they really did same a brain, seeing as how their already attached at the hip.

Jess's hand joined Lauran's, mimicking every movement she did. Suddenly, I got the feeling that if I could get Lauran to leave, then Jessica would follow her, maybe they don't have one brain, maybe Jessica just borrows Lauran's.

"Fine, but we'll be your date when your done with that one." Lauran purred, causing me to vomit a little in my mouth. _Get a grip man. They're just two more hoes. _The womanizer in me rolled his eyes, obviously forgetting the rule due to my new found sense of monogamy. I'd already made an exception for these two, I'd already been there, done that, and back again. I had had them each individually, but made an exception to double dip, because technically the two of them together would equal a different person, or so I convinced myself.

"Sorry ladies, but you're used goods." I faked my best polite tone, even though what I said was a lot harsher than I would have wanted to be to any woman.

"Technically, you've been with Jessica twice, not me, it's not fair Jazzy." The look of shock on Jessica's face was priceless, but I highly doubt she had the courage to deny Lauran, even if she had just sold her out. Well, technically she was right, I had finished our threesome with Jessica, but I wasn't going to let Lauran win that easy.

As if on cue, Emmett's massive figure moved in front of me, close enough for me to reach out and grab his wrist. He stopped abruptly, and if it wasn't me or one of our gang, he probably would have smacked the person for grabbing me, hell, if he didn't see the desperation in my eyes, he probably would have smacked me too.

"Have you seen Alice?" I pleaded, subtly motioning my head to make in aware of the very unpleasant Jasper sandwich going on.

He chuckled gently at my misfortune before averting his eyes, "Nah dawg, I be searchin' fo ma lady. If I be seein' Sun, I'll holla."

"Aw Jazzy, what does she have that I don't?" Lauran whined and pouted her new, still swollen from surgery and not in the attractive way, lips.

I didn't even know where to begin answering that, hundreds of answers flooded my mind simultaneously.

_How about a real nose, real lips, real tits, eyebrows that actually move. _I opted for the latter of Lauran's plastic, "A personality."

Lauran leaned closer, almost climbing onto my lap as her lips brushed against my ear, causing an unpleasant shudder to run through my body, "I could be her for you."

My eyes almost bugged out of my head as she pressed her rock hard, silicone tits against my side. I had to stifle a chuckle, as I remembered a part in one of the Austen Powers movies, where the chicks had guns in their tits and I wouldn't have been surprised if Lauran's sergeant gave her oversized set a few added perks.

_That chick never really needed a sergeant to look at her, more like a gynaecologist._

If I were a praying man, I'd be down on one knee right now, thanking the lord for Alice's sudden appearance. I quickly brushed the silicone twins off me, and lacked on the Alice for dear life. I played nice with the twat twins as did Alice but as soon as we were far enough away I let out a long breath, I hadn't even realised I was holding.

* * *

**So how do we feel about Rosalie now?**

**What about the song? Did you think it was appropriate, especially coming from a G like our homeboy Emmett?**

**If you did enjoy it and/or listened to the song, I'd like to recommend Thug Mainson and Only God can Judge Me by Tupac. Also, Pray For Me by Tupac, this one always brings tears to my eyes when I hear it. **


	9. Goose and the Captain

**Disclaimer: How can I disclaim another chapter, without sounding repetitive? Oh yeah... I can't. So here it goes... I don't own what I don't own. I own what I do own, which is the plot, not the charaters 'cause as we all know, SM owns those as well as Twilight.**

**Thanks to all that reviewed or read. **

**I'm just going to clear a few things up, firstly, Rosalie's Dad is in the mafia, a street boss actually, think Sopranos/Godfather style mafia. Thats what I meant by 'waste management' and the part about her many uncles refers to her father's associates.**

**Secondly, Jasper's mother, Bella's father and Rosalie's mother are all siblings. The reason none of the family will not talk to Rosalie or her parents is because they know that Rosalie's dad killed Bella's, but Bella and Jasper don't know this.  
**

**If there is anything esle that isn't clear, don't be shy to ask. :)**

**ENJOY!**

**xo  
**

* * *

A POV

Now I'm ready. I'm ready to go. Rosalie was my push, she was my justification. Now, I couldn't back out. Now, I had to go.

I kept repeating this to myself as I looked over at Jasper's peaceful sleeping form. He deserves better.

_No, he deserves what he wants._ My conscience was quick to call me a fool, but I knew what I had to do.

Watching him sleep, I knew there was no place in his life for my drunken, restless slumber, to disturb his peace.

Friday turned into Saturday morning and I went home, Saturday night turned to Sunday and my window stayed locked. Sunday turned to Monday morning, and the fun started.

I was the first to arrive at Mr. Cullen's office, so just Esme could direct us to a classroom, where the meeting was to be held. I sat in a desk near the front with my father to my left. Rosalie was the next to enter the room, she shot me a quick wink, before putting on the icy façade she's known for. Her father, a big burly man, escorted her model like mother to a desk across the room from myself. Next was Emmett, with his eyes glued to the ground, followed closely by a man, with the same dark hair, dark eyes and build as my massive friend. The man, who I assume is Emmett's father, had his arm wrapped around the waist of a tiny dark haired woman, who must have been at least one third his size. They sat down close to Rosalie's family and the two woman chatted causally, every so often glancing at my father and myself, no doubt getting the Fork's gossip mill turning. I watched their interactions, the women gossiping, while the father's grunted a hello and sat in silence, but a contrasting silence. Rosalie's father sat and waited patiently, with a sense of royalty and confidence that rolled off his figure in waves. Emmett's dad, on the other, seemed almost bored to tears, fidgeting impatiently and hardly able to sit still. I chuckled internally at the uncanny resemblance between Emmett and his father, I could have sworn, if it were for the noticeable plus twenty years difference, I would have been looking at clones. Edward walked in next, his usual confident posture made him center of attention. Trailing behind him was a older man, with the same confidence to him that clearly overshadowed Edward's. He was followed by a tall, thin woman, who was the poster child for stay at home mothers. With her low pony tail and gentle eyes it was obvious that was were Edward got his sense of compassion and understanding. Edward took the seat next to me, while his parents went to the other side and sat with my father, making small talk. My attention was brought back to the door, when it was abruptly flung open, and James stormed in, stomping his feet as a man and woman, whose stress lines implied they were chasing after a toddler, instead of a teenage boy. A few moments after James and his family sat down, a man in a business suit entered, arguing in his cell phone loudly and a woman with the same attire, who appeared just as engaged with her phone as well, followed him. The man's southern accent and the woman's honey blond hair tipped me off enough to guess before Jasper and Bella entered the room, sitting down with Edward and I while Jasper's parents sat in the back of the room, talking business with their phones.

When Mr. Cullen sauntered into the room, everyone turned their attention to him, everyone but Jasper's parents, who both held up their index finger, actually having the nerve to tell Mr. Cullen to wait a moment. Mrs. Whitlock was the first off her phone and she gave Mr. Cullen the go ahead while her husband tried to creep out of the room, unnoticed with his phone still glued to his ear.

"Well, I assume you all know why I have summoned you here, I must admit, this meeting is very unorthodox, but I believe a group meeting is required in this situation." Mr. Cullen started, addressing only the parents. It really made no sense for all of us to accompany the adults, seeing as how we've heard it all before. "Now, if anyone would like to discuss their child's behaviour in private, I will meet with you once we are finished here. I believe it is important to do this as a group because your children are not causing fights with different kids in the school, but with each other. The fights need to stop, and whatever it is that is causing them, needs to be sorted out, _now._" Mr. Cullen emphasised and glanced around the room, before his pointed stare finally landed on me.

"I agree. It's costing a fortune to fix the damage to my poor baby's face after she was so brutally attacked." Mrs. Hale announced, in a way that implied she was better than everyone else in the room.

"Oh shut the hell up Darcy. It's not like you don't have the damn money." Mrs. Whitlock sneered as she glared between Mr. and Mrs. Hale.

"Oh Audrey, envy is such a bad colour on you." Darcy Hale quipped and threw her long blond hair over her shoulder in a motion that suggested triumph.

"I'd rather have envy on my hands than blood." Audrey Whitlock mocked, with a crocked smirk that held an incredible resemblance to Jasper's.

"That's enough." Mr. Hale shouted firmly. "This is not the time nor the place Audrey."

I watched intently as did everyone else, as Rosalie, Jasper and Bella's family drama unfolded in front of us.

"You have no right to talk to my wife that way Royce, you lost that right when you…uh, yeah." Mr. Whitlock shouted weakly as the door slammed shut behind him.

"When I what Jack? Say it, when I k-" Royce Hale was cut off by an unfamiliar voice coming from behind me.

"Yes, Royce, do tell, 'when you' what?" Mr. Masen challenged with a raised eye brow but Royce Hale didn't continued, instead he looked rather defeated, as if what he was about to say would have had dire consequences for himself.

"Oh for god sakes, can't you all just shut it and let the man speak. This is boring enough as is, just let the man finish so we can get out of here." Emmett's dad whined in a way similar to a teenager being punished for the actions of his peers.

"Hank!" Mrs. McCarthy scolded and shot an apologetic look at Mr. Cullen.

"What? Boys will be boys Lillian, now can I please go home, I'm bored." Hank McCarthy pouted while Emmett snickered, earning a wink from his father and a pointed stare from his mother.

"Mr. Cullen, is it possible to put grown men in detention as well?" Lillian McCarthy raised a 'don't fuck with me' eyebrow to her husband and smirked.

"Quit your whining McCarthy and let the man speak." James's father bellowed in a manner that suggested they'd known each other for a long time.

"Still a teacher's pet, huh Track?" Hank McCarthy bellowed with Emmett's massive grin. If it weren't for the gangster lingo Emmett is so devoted to, age would be the only difference between the two of them.

"Mr. McCarthy, Mr. Track, are you finished?" Mr. Cullen chuckled lightly, the authoritative tone missing in his voice.

"Almost, _Principal_ Carlisle." Hank McCarthy mocked in a teasing manner with a smirk the size of his grin. It was so interesting to watch everyone interact, Hank McCarthy, James's father and Mr. Cullen seemed like they went back a long way, like high school buddies.

"Never did know when to shut it, eh McCarthy?" Mr. Track teased with a triumphant smirk, no doubt antagonizing Hank McCarthy, if he's anything like Emmett.

"Alright, Alright, Johnny, Hank, that's enough." Mr. Cullen mused with a knowing smirk. I found it odd the way the parents seemed to interact, like a reunion, and completely forget the rest of us where here. "Back to the issue at hand, I would like the children to sort out the conflicts right now, maybe once it's all out in the open, it'll be easier to find a solution or mutual understanding." Mr. Cullen glanced around the room checking for volunteers to speak first probably.

Suddenly it dawned on me, this was my chance, my chance to embarrass my father in front of half the town, to make a bad impression on everyone's parents and to make Principal Cullen realise he wants to expel me. I pulled my purse into my lap, readying my flask to whip it out as soon as Mr. Cullen calls on me to speak, and everyone's attention is on me.

"Well boy. Speak up, what didja do?" Hank McCarthy boomed at Emmett with an obviously fake hint of authority, it was all too obvious who wore the pants in that house hold.

"Shit, I ain't done shit. Guilty by associating wit ma homies." Emmett protested, earning stares from all the parents, except for Mr. Cullen, who seemed used to it.

"I did not witness the events of that day, so I have reason to believe Jasper and Emmett where involved in the incident as well as Bella and Rosalie." Mr. Cullen announced with a bored tone, obviously having told this story a few times too many.

Mr. Masen snorted loudly, drawing all eyes to him as he muttered, "Reasonable doubt. Guess it's true what they say, women _will_ marry their father."

Instantly my eyes darted across the room to Royce Hale, who was clutching the bottom of his chair, holding on for dear life, probably trying to stop himself from lunging at Mr. Masen.

"Yes, well Mr. Masen, I run my school a little differently from a court room. Students need a safe environment to study, free of distractions, such as all this fighting.-"

I cut Mr. Cullen off there, speaking up for the first time since the meeting had started, "So expel us." I laughed, earning myself a deadly glare from my father, and blank stares from the rest of the crowd.

"If it happens again Miss Brandon, we may be forced to take more stern measures, but I don't think expulsion is an option right now, but it this persists I may not have a choice." Mr. Cullen announced gravely, trying most likely to scare us straight, but I couldn't hide the grin creeping onto my face and I slid the flask from my purse and pressed it to my lips.

There was one, large, unified gasp before everything went silent. I look a moment to look around, both parent and child stared at me, eyes wide, mouth open, gaping at me as I shrugged and took another, larger swig from my flask full of whiskey.

"Mary Alice Brandon!" My father shouted so loudly I could have sworn I heard glass breaking in the distance.

"Chill, it's just apple juice." I chuckled darkly, rolling my eyes dramatically before winking at Mr. Cullen, who seemed beyond furious. I closed my flask and slipped it back in my purse, focusing on Mr. Cullen as he stood up front, frozen to the ground. "Processed." I chirped innocently.

His lips pursed together in a thin line as he stormed over to my desk, snatching my purse from my lap.

"What the fuck?" I shouted, trying desperately to dig my grave deeper and get myself expelled today, right now, as soon as possible.

Mr. Cullen ignored me and dropped my purse on the large wooden desk in the front of the class. "Jimmy?" Mr. Cullen motioned for my father, hinting to the fact that he could not go through my stuff, but my father could. I watched with amusement as my father pulled out the flask and started unscrewing the cap.

"Cheers." I mused smugly with a massive grin as my father took a whiff of the contents and winced.

"And you suspend my Rosalie, when obviously that girl was drunk and attacked Rose." Darcy Hale faked an over the top, dramatic, shock as her husband rolled his eyes and muttered something unintelligible under his breath.

"We have witnesses saying Rosalie instigated the incident, both verbally and physically." Mr. Cullen defended with sympathy clouding his firm expression. I watched as Mr. Cullen sniffed the flask, nodded and handed it back to my father, who then slipped it in his pocket.

_Smart, now he's going to search your room, dumb ass._ My conscience mused, once again seeing the consequences of my actions and letting me act on impulse before mentioning anything. I quickly thought through my options, finally deciding to skip class this morning and find a better spot for my stash before my Dad's lunch break.

"So, see you in six days Sir?" I chimed with a childish smile, trying my damnest to provoke him.

"Oh no Miss Brandon, you already had your _vacation_. I think we'll try something different this time." Mr. Cullen tried his hardest not to hiss, but it came out as just that. "Five days of in-school suspension and after school detentions everyday this week."

I groaned internally but refused to show my displeasure, it would have only gave Mr. Cullen and my father reassurance that this would make me miserable.

"That's so unfair!" I heard someone shout behind me, and quickly turned to watch Bella stomp up the rows of desks, pausing at my side.

"Isabella Marie Swan, you sit your ass down this insist." Jack Whitlock shouted, stand up from his chair and pointing his finger at the ground in front of him.

"No way! That's just plain not fair. Alice didn't do anything, and now she's getting in more trouble than anyone else." Bella defended while glaring at Mr. Cullen.

"Well Miss Swan, you can join her." Mr. Cullen said causally, in a manner that asked if he could move on now.

But, of course not. Where ever Bella went… "Sir, you cannot punish Bella for standing up for Alice." Edward growled, jumping to his feet and storming to his girlfriend's side. "That's just plain, _fucking _wrong."

I tried desperately hard not to snort with laughter, but I just couldn't do it. I burst out into stitches at the extra cuss word Edward had used as an obvious ploy to be tossed in detention with Bella, it was so transparent that is was hilarious.

"_Damn_ Sir. These ballas right here ain't be jockin' yeah. You is all up in Sun's business, like you is the muthafuckin' law or some shit. Home girl ain't done shit, she ain't be deserving' lockdown, you dig?" Emmett stood up, baffling everyone over the age of eighteen.

"Emmett, I have no damn idea what you just said, but I believe calling the principal the-" Mr. Cullen paused to find the words and air quote them, "-'_Mother-fucking Law'_ is probably not in your best interest if you want to keep out of detention." Mr. Cullen shot him a stern look but Emmett just rolled his eyes in defiance.

"Shit my bad Sir, I ain't mean to be disrespectin' yeah. How'z 'bout muthafuckin' five-oh, or Po-Po?" Mr. Cullen was completely bewildered, but his jaw clenched when Emmett said 'muthafuckin' again.

"Emmett, maybe he'd prefer to be addressed as Bacon, just like the rest of the pigs?" Rosalie stood up with a wicked, mischievous tinkle in her eye.

"Rosalie!" Darcy Hale scolded but it was drowned out by Hank McCarthy and Royce Hale's booming laughter.

Mr. Cullen sighed in defeat and focused his attention on Jasper, who had been silent this whole time, "Mr. Whitlock, do you have anything to add?" His tone suggested he, like everyone else was well aware of what was going on here.

"Yeah,-" Jasper mused with his trademark cocky smug, "-Fuck you."

"Is that all?" Mr. Cullen's gaze fixed on James as did everyone else's. James sat in the back, his arms folded across his chest with the smuggest smirk I'd even seen, "Yup. That's all." James announced, no doubt feeling triumphant over the rest of us.

"Alright, well Mr. and Mrs. Track, I'd like to meet with you privately after I finish here, if you wouldn't mind waiting outside." Mr. Cullen motioned to the door, not asking but ordering them to leave, which they were all to happy to do. Once the door snapped shut behind them, Mr. Cullen's attention bore into us.

"I'm curious, what's with the sudden alliances, when not a week ago you were already to kill each other?" Mr. Cullen tried to sound firm but his light hearted laughter broke through. In the corner of my eye though, I saw Rosalie wince when Mr. Cullen said kill, and her father's lips pursed in a thin line as he clutched the bottom of the chair again.

"Mutual dislike for authority." I offered smugly as I felt my father's glaring eyes bore into the side of my head.

"Maybe,-" Mr. Cullen laughed with a friendly smile, "-but I doubt it." I swear he winked at us, but it was so brief, I doubt anyone else would have seen it. "You all have after school detentions every day this week though." He added with his stern tone back in place.

Once the meeting was over we were all ushered from the classroom and told to wait until second class to go back to class, so we didn't interrupt the classes in progress. I watched my father drive off in the direction of his work before flicking my cigarette and making a dash for my van.

"Hey! Alice…Hey, wait up?" I spun on me heel and watched as the golden haired, icy princess raced from the school, tripping slightly as her stilettos sank into the soft muddy grass.

She finally caught up with me, panting and grinning like a fool, "What'cha up to? Can I come with?" She chirped with a unordinary innocence.

"I'm just going home Rose. I'll be back later. I just got some shit to take care of." I muttered, some what irritated that she would chase after me like this.

"Can I come?" She beamed, ignoring my annoyance. Lucky for Rosalie, the bell rang signalling the start of second period and I couldn't afford to waste time arguing.

"Get in." I hissed and stormed off to the driver's side. We drove in silence, neither of us cared about the awkward tension in the van, because we simply didn't care that much for each other.

When I parked the ancient van in the drive, Rosalie took a shaky breath and mumbled, "I thought you were going to leave without me." Her scared, child-like voice dipped with fear and worry.

"I wont forget about you, don't worry. All you need to worry about is getting yourself kicked out of that school, I'll work out the rest." I mused as I climbed out of the van and unlocked the front door. Rosalie followed me into my bedroom, and watched as I started to pull bottle after bottle out from under my bed. I didn't care if she watched, gasped or judged me, because I really didn't care what Rosalie thought of me, she was damaged good as well.

"Oh my god, you have like a _freakin' _liquor store under your bed!" Rosalie exclaimed, her eyes sparkling with excitement.

"Yeah well, help me move this shit." I muttered grabbing an arm full of bottles and carting them to my bathroom. Rosalie and I carted loads of half empty bottles from my bedroom to the adjacent bathroom, shoving them gently under the counter.

"Can we uh-…" Rosalie mumbled as she carefully organized my collection.

"Take your pick." I chuckled and handed her the last of the alcohol to hide. I went back to my room, cracking the window and grabbing the bottle of Captain Morgan, I'd left on the bed. I propped myself in the window sill, taking a swig from the bottle and lighting a cigarette. Rosalie came out of the bathroom a few moments after, holding up a bottle of Grey Goose vodka for my approval. When I nodded, she plopped down on the bed, sitting as close to the window as possible before unscrewing the cap and taking a huge gulp.

"Do you have an extra on of those?" She pointed to my cigarette with a sheepish smile.

"You smoke?" I muttered in a rude manner as I dug through my purse, searching for my pack.

"Not often, but once in a while." She grinned as I tossed the Marlboros and a lighter at her. She downed the pack on the bed next to her, lighting up and inhaling deeply, blowing the smoke straight up into the air and looking more relaxed than ever.

I chuckled lightly as she took another swig of the smooth vodka and cocked an eyebrow silently asking me to explain.

"Figures you'd pick fancy, French vodka." I teased with a genuine smile. I was always really good at guessing what drink suited people, and subconsciously, people always picked a drink that matched their personality. Grey Goose vodka suited Rosalie just perfect, both had a sort of expensive feel to them, a harsh taste at first but a smooth, easy finish. "It suits you." I mumbled as if I were complementing a dress or accessory.

"I guess I can see it." She chuckled and blew smoke out the open window, "But your definitely a rum person. I mean, like nothing else suits you. Vodka is just to clean and too sweet, Scotch is much too harsh and sour. Gin is too old and plain. Whiskey may have suited you but its too dark and gritty. Rum is just so unusual, with a bitter-sweetness to it." I took a moment to ponder Rosalie assessment as I blew smoke rings out the window.

"Whatever you say, _Goose._" I giggled, holding up the bottle in a 'cheers' fashion and taking a swig.

"Aye, aye, Capt'n." Rosalie laughed and followed my lead.

I flicked my smoke out the window and packed my liquor in my purse, "We gotta go, my Dad will be back for lunch soon."

We jumped in the van minutes later ands sped off down the road. Right then I realised I like Rosalie, she doesn't question me, and she doesn't even ask or suggest I'm too drunk to drive. Rosalie Hale is definitely my kind of girl.

"Dude, are we going back to school?" She groaned, while her voice was tainted with disgust.

"Nah, I know a place." I chucked and turned onto a little dirt road on the outskirts of town.

I parked the van on the side of the road, hoping my old house was still abandoned. I looked around for any signs of life before I made my way to the once clear cut trail, with Rosalie following me closely.

"I think I got some boots in the van." I grumbled and Rosalie's eyes almost bugged right out of her pretty little head.

"Are we like _hiking_?" She asked with a hint of disgust in her tone. I didn't bother with a reply, instead I let the boots in the van speak for themselves. I tossed them at Rosalie and I swear I saw a tear in her eye. Rosalie put the boots on without another word and followed me into the brush.

It was just as I remembered, enclosed with trees, and covered with wild flowers, and even after all this years, the sun still shone solely on the meadow, while the contours were left in darkness.

"Wow, what is this place?" Rosalie whispered, her features enhanced with wonder.

"A memory." I whispered as the magic of the meadow started to shoot through me, leaving me with only the good of the past. I collapsed into the knee high grass, feeling like a child again, like this moment would never end, like my family wouldn't fall apart, like I'd always live here in Forks with mom and dad, like all the piece still fit together. _Nothing lasts forever. _and now it hurt more, knowing there were good times before the bad, knowing the bad didn't have to happen. It hurt times tens worse, knowing I was once happy, when now all I wish is that I wasn't too young, that I could remember what it felt like.

Rosalie broke me from my self pity by breaking the silence and peace of the meadow with her echoing laughter, "I can't believe what you did this morning, like that took _mega_ balls." She choked out between the giggles.

I chuckled darkly at my bad luck, "Yeah, I figured it would at least be my last warning, maybe I'd get suspended or expelled, but no a fucking in school suspension., that shit is fucked."

"Hell yeah it is." Rosalie chanted while twisting the cap off her bottle of Grey Goose and sipping on it. "At least you're not allow in detention, that would be crappy."

The genuine smile on Rosalie's features scared me a little, I didn't want to make friends with her, I wanted to hate her, everything would be a lot simpler if we hated each other. "You know you didn't have to do that." I whispered shyly, half grateful and half reprimanding her actions.

"No, I definitely had too. Did you see the look on my mother's face when I called Mr. Cullen a pig, that was priceless." Rosalie chirped smugly with a triumphant grin.

"I think your father found it fucking funny." I laughed and untwisted the cap on my own bottle, pressing it to my lips and drowning everything but blankness.

"Yeah well, he would enjoy a good cop joke, now wouldn't he?" She hissed towards the ground, her sober features felling in guilt as her tears became heavy with self loathing. We didn't speak for the longest time, but I couldn't hold the silence any longer. One thing stayed with me from this morning, one unanswered question about the soap opera that is the citizens of Forks.

"Rose, what is it between your father and Edward's?" I asked as I reminisced about their gripping encounter.

She let out a long sigh and grimaced slightly, "Mr. Masen is an FBI agent, he was assigned to uncle Charlie's case and to build a RICO case against my father."

"Oh," was all I could manage to whisper. I quickly replayed any interact between the two men, looking for anything else that might have puzzled me. "What did Mr. Masen mean by 'reasonable doubt'?"

I had excepted Rosalie to keep the same sombre expression but instead her eyes lit up and a smirk, similar to Jasper's graced her lips, betraying that fact that they are definitely relatives, "Mr. Masen couldn't prosecute my father because of reasonable doubt. They had three suspects, and they couldn't prove which one actually did the shooting, so all were let go. Like they could place they three men at the scene, but they couldn't prove which man actually did it."

"Huh, I didn't know it could happen that way, I just figured they tossed them all in jail and be done with it." I chuckled before realising how insulting my remark most have been to Rosalie.

"That's why their building a RICO case, so my father and all this associates will be tried together." Rosalie stated, ignoring my unintentional insult.

"You sure know a lot about the legal system." I mumbled as I held a cigarette between my lips, searching my purse for a lighter.

Rosalie giggled girlishly as I dumped the contents into the tall grass beside me, and scavenged through them for that darn lighter. "Comes with having two uncles and an aunt in the legal system and a father the system wants."

I shoved the scattered items back into my bag and lit my cigarette, taking a long drag as I pondered what she'd said. "Wait, two uncles and an aunt?" I blurted out abruptly after a moment of silence.

Rosalie nodded and picked at the grass by her lap, "Yeah…Jasper's parents are lawyers, his father is actually the crown prosecutor, and his mother is a defence lawyer. They met in lawyer school."

I thought over the irony for a moment, wondering if Rosalie had noticed it too, "So let me get this straight,-" I chuckled ominously, "-Your uncle was a police officer, your aunt is a defence lawyer, your other uncle is a crown prosecutor and your father is a mobster?"

"Yup, ironic huh?" She laughed while her features wrinkled with amusement. "Want to know the kicker?"

I nodded and waited for her to continue, "Well, my mom, Jasper's mom and uncle Charlie were siblings, my parents were the first in the family to marry. Back then, Auntie Darcy still liked my father, and she knew what he was. So she decided to go to school to be a defence lawyer, you know encase the family ever needed legal aid.-" Rosalie paused to smirk sarcastically, "-Then she met Jasper's father, Jack, who was working on his masters to become a prosecutor. So she actually went into law to help my father but ended up switching sides."

I really didn't know what to say, it felt like everyone in town had it out for Rosalie's dad. Luckily, Rosalie caught on to my speechlessness and continued with her story, "Did you know Edward's mother is a judge."

I spat out a mouth full of rum as I burst out laughing, "You mean to tell me, that meeting was more like a court case than anything else? Christ, so there was a judge, a defence lawyer, a crown prosecutor, an FBI agent and a mob boss, all in the same room. That must have been uncomfortable." Rosalie just giggled and took a swig from her slowly emptying bottle of Goose.

"So what do your parents do?" My stomach flipped at the question, I hated talking about myself, she should know that by now but I sucked it up and answered best I could.

"My father works construction." I muttered, hoping she'd give up and leave it at that, sensing my animosity.

"Oh cool, so your mom is like a stay at home mom or something?"

I winced hoping she wouldn't go there, but instead of snapping like I should have, I just mumbled, "Something like that." She didn't need to know the specifics, I'd already made that mistake once. I knew Bella would never tell anyone, but I couldn't even look her in the eyes anymore, she knew my deepest, darkest secrets, and I had nothing to hide behind with Bella. I just can't face her knowing eyes, and another pair of knowing eyes would certainly break me down. I could never tell Rosalie, apart from the fact that I didn't trust her, I just couldn't take the pity she would bestow on me.

Sensing my discomfort, Rosalie tried to take a different direction in the conversation, "What do you want to do after high school?"

I was momentary taken back by her question, since I hadn't thought about that in a long time, not since my only goal in life became surviving. My features wrinkled with puzzlement before I could hide it away and shrug causally, "Survive." I muttered, not being quick enough to think up a lie.

I was about to ask her, but again sensing my discomfort, she continued without waiting for me to ask, "For the longest time I wanted to be a PR and like plan parties and stuff, but now, I actually want to work in mechanics when I'm older, and open my own garage."

I snorted loudly and my eyes widened in shock, before I could control my offensive reaction. "Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. I haven't told anyone that expect for you and Emmett, and even he laughed at me but you'll see. One day when the piece of hippy-crap van of yours breaks down, and I come along and save the day, you wont be laughin' so hard." Rosalie said smugly with a proud grin.

"I can only imagine what Emmett said." I mused and lit another cigarette, keeping that damn lighter in my pocket from now on.

"Oh, it was something along the lines of, '_Damn_, baby girl, that's whack, you is too damn sexy to be no muthafuckin' mechanic.'" I choked on the smoke as I burst out laughing at her impression of Emmett.

"You actually understand him?" I asked when the coughing and laughter finally died down.

"Yeah, sometimes I pretend I don't, its just easier that way, but he knows I understand every word he's saying."

I didn't have anything more to say on the subject, so I let an awkward silence come between us, except it wasn't awkward. I laid back in the grass, staring at the clouds and in my peripheral I noticed Rosalie do the same. It wasn't awkward, anything but actually, more than that though, it was peaceful. Rosalie left me alone to relive the bitter sweet memories of my early childhood.

_My head was spinning, but I was flying, the trees were shorter than before, the wind tossed my long black hair in all directions as I plummeted to the ground. My heart bounded faster, I was over come with an emotion unfamiliar to me for seconds, until the warmth of security washed over me and I landed gently in my father's grip. _

"_Again Daddy!" I screamed, giggling with trill and excitement._

"_Later Baby, the food's ready." He grinned and kissed my forehead, placing me on the ground and letting me run to my mother's side. _

I remember thinking mom was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen, and I wanted to look just like her when I grew up. I wanted to be just as beautiful as my mother, and find a man who will love me like daddy loves mommy.

"_Happy birthday Mary Alice!" Mom smiled and placed a small pink cake in front of me, covered with six burning candles. _

"_Mommy, why are their six?" I pointed to the cake, letting the candles melt, and the wax to drip. _

"_One extra for good luck, Baby girl." Daddy answered with a proud smile and looked lovingly to Mommy._

"_Now, make a wish and blow out your candles." Mommy insisted, her green eyes shining with love and tenderness. _

"_But don't tell anyone your wish, otherwise it might not come through." Daddy added, as my eyes widened at the fear that my wish might not come through, but I pushed that thought away because I trusted Daddy and if he said it would come through if I didn't tell anyone, then it would._

**I wish I could be as pretty as Mommy and one day find a husband to love me like daddy loves mommy and it could be me, mommy and daddy together forever.** _I blew out the candles in one long puff, grinning contently with my wish. _

It was only a year after, right before my sixth birthday, that I found out mom and I couldn't stay with dad anymore. No body ever told me why, they just let me wonder and always said the same thing, 'I'll tell you when you're older' so I stopped asking, because I knew I'd never be 'older'.

"How do you know about this place?" Rosalie whispered, distracting me from my conflicted memories, that caused my heart to swell with love, then burst with an explosion of pain and regret.

"My parents,-" I whispered, "-when I was young." My sentences coming in fragments as I tried to suppress the pain.

"You used to live in Forks?" She gasped, as if it was a huge twist in the tale of our lives that is the Fork's soap opera.

"Yeah." I muttered reluctantly and gathered my stuff, noticing the sun wasn't over top the meadow anymore, meaning it was later then I thought. Rosalie followed me closely through the path and kicked the boots off as soon as she got her stilettos back. I could have sworn I heard her hiss 'my precious' as she stroked the shoes once gently before putting them on.

I floored my Jurassic van, barely making the speed limit as is. "Wow, what a piece of…" Rosalie muttered under her breath, but loud enough so she could be sure I would hear it.

I tried to ignore it, but easier said than done. I knew she was driving at her mechanics angle, and I refused to be pulled into that conversation again, mostly because I was jealous that she actually had dreams, aspirations and goals, and I didn't.

"So where are we going?" She chirped, looking out as the scenery flew past.

I couldn't help myself from being smug, "School, we don't want to be late for our first detention."

She didn't say anything, but I could feel her wide eyed stare boring into me. After a moment of silence, she finally regained control, "Why?" She asked curtly.

"Because I want to get expelled." I said with an implied, exasperated 'duh'. "By the way, we still hate each other at school okay? If you want to come with me, I don't people knowing we left together."

She nodded in agreement, hopefully understanding the reasons despite my uncontrollable rudeness. I let Rosalie out a around the corner from the school so no one would see us together. Truth is, I didn't care if people knew we were hanging out, but if Rosalie slipped up and told someone where we were going, then I didn't want people to come looking for me, because they knew I'd be with her. It was just safer for me this way. I parked and headed to the school just as the final bell rang. I skipped pleasantly to the detention room, unfortunately not being seen by Mr. Cullen, like I'd hoped. I took a seat at the table behind Bella and Edward. Rosalie and Emmett followed me in and sat on the other side of the room, as Rose glared at me to keep up appearance. Jasper was last to come in, right after the bored looking security guard, he instantly took the empty seat by my side.

The irritated guard took attendance and explained the blatantly obvious rules to us. Only moments after did Mr. Cullen appear in the doorway. He looked around and finally focused on me, his lips pursing into a thin line as he pinched the bridge of nose, probably silently counting to ten so he didn't explode.

I guess he only got to nine because when his eyes snapped open, they were wild with fury directed solely on me. "GODDAMNIT MISS BRANDON." He shrieked causing everyone, even the burly security guard to cringe. "What the hell am I supposed to do with you?" His voice lowered in volume but not strength, which almost made it more piercing.

I almost lost my nerve right there, terrified of authority that years of schooling had installed into my mental workings, but I reminded myself that this is good, this is what I wanted and shrugged causally, hoping to press his buttons a little more.

"Kick her out." Rosalie beamed with a smug triumph which quickly faded when Mr. Cullen's fury became focused on her.

"Not now Miss Hale, you're in as much trouble as Miss Brandon, so don't give me ideas." He growled harshly and slammed the door on his way out.

I caught the security guard almost smirking as he looked between me and the doorway. "In my ten years here, I've never seen him so pissed off he couldn't even think of a punishment." He chuckled, taking us all by surprise that his friendly humour. I replied with a mischievous smirk and everything went back to silence. I was half passed out from the liquor when I felt a piece of paper being shoved into my arm. I looked up to glare at Jasper, who stared at me with a devilishly smirk. I took the paper and unfolded it on my desk, hidden behind my oversized purse.

_**Way to go, I've never seen Mr. C's face so red before. **_

_**Where'd you go after the meeting? I missed you in science, I had to work with Edward.**_

I smirked and quickly scribbled across the page.

_**Didn't feel like staying in prison today. **_

_**And Edward is smarter than me in science anyways.**_

I shoved the paper back at him and tried not to look at him as he read it, wrote something and passed it back.

_**Maybe so, but he definitely ain't a looker.**_

I accidentally giggled aloud as I read it, earning me nervous looks from everyone in the room.

_**And what does that have to do with science?**_

I provoked him, knowing what direction this conversation would take. As soon as I could the note back, I internally grinned with triumph.

_**Because, it was so distracting. I had so much trouble focusing on my fantasies about fucking you on the lab table, without your hot little body actually bent over the lab table beside me. It was tedious and boring, and he kept making me think about science, it was just so hard to stay focused. **_

I held back a moan as I could feel my panties becoming damp at just the idea. I quickly jotted down a reply and slid it back.

_**JASPER! That's what you've been thinking about this whole time in class? Geese, and here I thought you were just an idiot.**_

This time I watch him as he read it and smirked wickedly, causing a shiver to run through my body at all the possible ways he wants to fuck me, implied by that smirk alone.

_**Don't try to tell me you wouldn't like it Alice. If I bent you over the desk right here, pushed your little skirt up around your hips and stuck my cock in you, fucking you while everyone watched you scream my name, don't try to tell me you'd stop me.**_

I bit my lip, the previous moan building up in my chest and threatening to escape my lips.

_**Ugh, Jasper. Thanks a lot. I think you just ruined my panties.**_

I passed it back to him, feeling a little better knowing my comment would get him going as much as he was doing to me.

_**So is that a yes? And why don't you just take them off? Or if you'd prefer, I could do it for you.**_ I groaned softly as I started at his simple handwriting, never has the shape of someone's letters turned me on before, only adding to the heat I felt from what was written.

_Two can play at this game. I mused internally and quickly scribbled on the paper before passing it back. I stood up, leaving my purse and sauntered to the front of the room, swaying my hips for Jasper's benefit. _

* * *

**So, who loves the parents? I know I sure as hell do. They were so much fun to write. **

**Anyways, let me know... (:**


	10. Racing Further from Reality

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight, I merely tweaked it, alot.**

**Thanks to all who reviewed, you know I love you guys right?**

**ENJOY!**

**xo**

* * *

J POV

_**Oh, I plan on it. Too bad you stuck in here, I could definitely use the help. Your hands just feel so much better than mine, oh well. I guess I'll have to make do. **_

I bit forcefully into my lip, not letting up until I tasted blood in my mouth. I needed to hold back a moan. I watched her leave, my curiosity and imagination only getting wilder and wilder from that moment on. I imagined what she was doing to herself, how she was touching herself, how she was making herself moan. My cock strained painfully against my jeans, throbbing with jealously as imagines of her panting while pumping her fingers inside her, flooded my mind. My mind ran wild the longer she was gone and I tried desperately to find any excuse to get out of here and find her, watch her, touch her, kiss her, fuck her senseless.

Before I could come up with a coherent excuse, she slid back into the room, looking a little flushed. I quickly grabbed the note and wrote, _**You're going to pay for that. Tease! **_and slid it across the desk so she could see it when she sat down.

She gasped slowly as her eyes focused on the page in front of her. As soon as she was seated, she grabbed her pen and went to work.

_**Oh what? You going to punish me Jazzy?**_ I could imagine her purring in my ear, as I knew she would have if we'd been allowed to talk.

The most dirty, sexually explicit and down right incredible images came to mind as I began to write my reply.

_**You're damn right I am, Sugar. **_I wanted so badly to write what I would do to her, but I held back and baited her to ask for it. I slid the note to her as a mischievous smile played on her pouty lips. She slipped a hand into the pocket of her jean skirt and fisted her hand around something I couldn't see before she shoved whatever it was in my pocket, her fingers lingering against my cock for too brief of a second. I was about to check what was in my pocket, when she distracted me with the note.

_**And how would you do that?**_

_**By the way, I thought I should give you those, seeing as how I have no use for them now.**_

_Oh fuck._ My cock twitched and my leg started to shake with anticipation. My hand even shook as I tried to steady the pencil.

_**Describe them to me, and I'll tell you how I'm going to punish you for making yourself cum. **_It took every ounce of self control to stay in charge and control of the situation but it was worth it, I could tell the dominant stance I took only made her that much more wetter.

I unfolded the note and groaned as I read it.

_**You mean the soaked, lacy, little, white thong I shoved in your pocket because you got me so wet I couldn't wear it anymore?**_

_**Now tell me what you'll do to me, or I'll go do it too myself, AGAIN.**_

If I could have watch, I definitely would have let her, but since I was stuck here, only able to imagine the ways she was touching herself, with a painful and painfully obvious erection, I couldn't let that happen again.

_**First we must establish what you are being punished for before we get to the sentencing part. **_

_**Now lets see, there is the issue of indecent exposure, which you did not allow me to be exposed to. **_

_**Then there is the pain and suffering my erection has caused me in your absences. **_

_**Not to mention the psychological effects on my mind when I thought of your little fingers sliding in and out of your pussy as moan out, coming all over your little hand. **_

_**Then, there is the matter of your lacy white thong that is burning a hole in my pocket, causing damage to my property. **_

_**Also, the threat that you'll do it again must be taking into consideration. **_

_**Lastly, the torture and torment I've endure must be made up for. **_

I felt entirely arrogant as I passed the note back to her. I watched her as she read it and moaned softly. She chewed on her lip for a moment, rubbing her thighs together as one and wrote and the other rested on her exposed thigh, threatening to relief her.

_**I'm not sorry. Do what you will to me, but I don't regret fucking myself in the bathroom stall, with on leg propped up on the wall as I slid three fingers inside me, moaning and screaming your name when I came. Maybe I deserve your punishment but whatever you do to me, I'll take it and scream for more. Nothing you could do would make me regret what I did. The way I thought about you, the way I imagined it was your fingers inside my wet pussy. They way I panted, moaned and screamed your name as my fingers became soaked with my juices. **_

I almost came in my pants when I read that, and reread that, maybe six times. When I was finally able to control myself, I wrote back.

_**I swear Alice, if I lose my shit right here, I will take you home and make you clean it up with your tongue, while I cum in that dirty little mouth of yours. **_

I realised I wasn't helping the situation, and I knew if I wrote what I wanted to do to her later, I'd almost certainly lose it. I gripped tightly on my leg, waiting for Alice to pass the note back.

_**Will that be part of my punishment? Getting down in front of you, sucking your cock and swallowing your cum?**_

By now I was almost panting, I looked at the clock, only to realise that was since another hour to go before I could fuck Alice senseless.

_**Yes, and I think after you take care of my little problem, your hands should be bound, so there is no chance you will try anything **__**again**__**. Then I'll go with the age old saying, 'an eye for an eye' and make sure you cannot move as I tease your pussy, stopping just before you are about to cum each time. Once I think you've had enough, and you've been sufficiently tortured, I will release your hands, letting you grip onto the headboard as I fuck you harder than you've ever been before.**_

_**By the way, third floor men's washroom next to the dance studio, I'll be there if you want to come find me.**_

I didn't wait for her reply, I probably wouldn't be able to handle it, instead I readjusted and headed to the washroom. I was prepared to wait ten minutes, to see if Alice showed up, but I didn't have too. Only two minutes after I left, she was right behind me. I didn't even have time to ask, my legs had a mind of their own, as I closed the gap between us, taking her lips in mine and pinning her little body against the wall. I pulled away abruptly, reluctantly breaking the kiss to undo my jeans and let my cock free of it's confinements.

"Would you like me to clean up the mess I've made?" She purred, licking her luscious lips so I knew what she was implying. I thought about it for a split second, but chose the latter and crashed my lips into hers, while hoisting her legs around my waist.

"No Darlin', but your punishment starts now, so get the skirt off your hips." I growled, unable to control the lust ridden caveman inside me. Alice obeyed and positioned my tip at her entrance. Her legs security wrapped around my hips, I pinned her between me and the wall, and bucked my hips forcefully into her.

"Oh god, yes." she screamed at the force as I continued thrusting into her, willing myself to last longer as I sucked on her neck to keep silent. Her nails raked along my back as I felt her walls tightening around my shaft, and she bit down into my shoulder, trying to muffle a scream. With one final thrust she released from my shoulder and moaned loudly, "Oh fuck, Jas-a-s-per." She panted as I came inside her while moaning out her name. Once we'd caught our breaths, Alice began to readjust her skirt and clean herself up.

"What thehell do you think your doing?" I hissed as I felt my cock harden at the very sight of her flushed cheeks.

"I-I was um, -going back?" She hesitated and I knew I had her right where I wanted her. I closed the gap between us, wrapping my arms around her hips and pulling her tight ass into my groin.

"Did I say you could go back? Don't make me punish you for that too." I purred, taking her earlobe into my mouth and sucking on it gently as she shivered in my grasp.

"What,-" She panted but cut herself off with a moan, "-what do you want me to…" She trailed off and gasped as my lips ghosted along her neck and my hands slid from her waist, cupping her breasts.

"Now you can clean up the mess you made." She nodded and I let her go, so I could stand against the wall for support. She knelt down in front of me, looking up at me through her lashes as she stroked me once gently before running her tongue along my shaft. She took me in her mouth, bobbing her head as her tongue swirled along my lengths. Suddenly she stopped, looking up at me through half lidded eyes she mumbled, "Sorry I need to readjust." I watched as she slid her skirt up past her hips, using one hand to steady me, while the other traveled under her skirt, furiously moving at the same pace her head bobbed along my cock. She moaned and relaxed, taking me deep into her throat as my hands twisted into her hair, forcing her to take it all in. When she moaned again, the vibration on my cock was too much, my head rolled back and I came again as she continued to moving, milking and swallowing every drop. I took a moment to caught my breath she stood up, pressing her little figure against mine and kissing me fiercely. I grabbed her, lifting her up and carrying her over to the sink. I placed her on the counter, smiling mischievously as I whispered, "It's your turn." and plunged two fingers inside her while my thumb rubbed her clit. She gasped and moaned in unison, her lips attaching to my neck so as not to moan too loudly.

_Like it matters now. She's so loud, she could wake the dead._ I bit my lip at the thought, her moaning turned me on more than anything. My free hand snaked around her hips, holding her against my hand as she rocked her hips into my movements.

"Oh god, Jasper, oh _fuck._" She hissed and I could feel her getting close, her walls were tightening around my fingers as I slid in a third.

"Cum for me, Alice." I purred, sliding my tongue along her neck before settling on the soft spot behind her ear.

"Oh god Jas-sper." Alice cried as her body collapsed into mine. After she took a few moments to catch her breath she hopped off the counter and fumbled to fix her skirt. "Shit, we got to get back." She muttered, grabbed my hand and dragged me from the bathroom, down too flights of stairs until we were in the hallway by the detention room.

"Miss Brandon." A voice called from behind us, and I winced, when I heard mine, "Mr. Whitlock."

_Damnit. _

A POV

"Miss Brandon. Mr. Whitlock." Mr. Cullen's voice rang in my ears. I really didn't care about getting in trouble, but Jasper…_Oh crap Jasper._ I cringed as it finally hit me, I'd broken my own rules, all my rules, and for what, a quickie in the boys bathroom.

Rule one: Darkness hides all.

Rule two: Friday was the end.

Rule three: _No one _gets close, _I _don't get hurt.

I was snapped from my self loathing as an enraged principal stomped towards me, "My office, both of you. And so help me god, if you are not there when I get back, I'll going to put in a word with my family who runs a _loving _juvenile detention center, in Alaska."

I knew I should have listened. I knew this threats weren't empty. I knew he was a man pushed to his limit, with his back against the wall, but something snapped in me.

"Is that a threat, _Sir_?" I spat venomously, taking an aggressive step towards him.

"No Alice, I intent very much to call Irina after I call both your parents and tell them we have you both on camera leaving the men's washroom together." Inside I could tell he was fuming, but he was beyond that, he was to the point were he was so pissed off he was calm.

"Do it." I hissed before I felt a hand clasp around my arm, dragging me backwards.

"No, we'll wait at the office Sir." Jasper shouted as he dragged my body down the hallway while I stayed focused on Mr. Cullen with a fixed snarl. We were in front of the office when Jasper finally let me go, and I let go of all the rage I'd built up towards Jasper, towards Mr. Cullen, towards my father, towards my mother, towards _him…_

"Don't you ever fucking touch me again!" I shrieked a high pitched cry, piercing enough to shatter glass.

"Whoa, baby? Calm down." Jasper whispered as he took a cautious step back.

Everything in my vision went red, my body was only controlled by the rage I'd felt. "Don't call me baby. I. Am. Not. Your. Baby." I hissed venomously, punctuating each word with a short breath to make it clear.

"Okay, sorry Alice, just calm down alright?" His eyes pleaded with me, begging me not to slip further into the insanity that has become me.

I could feel the end coming, I was so near to the words as they danced and played on the tip of my tongue, threatening to slither out before I was ready to hear them, much less speak them aloud. I was in to deep, now I had to choose to sink or swim, to sink into this hole of a town, or to swim like hell, getting as far away as I can, before drowning in my sea of whiskey and self destruction. I put myself in this position and now I'd have to give my first 'goodbye' something I've never done before. I've never said goodbye to anyone before, I always just ran, ran before they could hurt me, ran before they could leave me, ran before he could find me. And now, I wasn't sure if I should run or say goodbye, if I should give him a chance to stop me, to find me, to save me, or if I should just disappear like I'd never existed.

_We both know what you'll do, your selfish. You don't care who you step on. _My conscience retorted spitefully, but it running is my only way to survive. In my life, its survival of the fastest.

And before my brain could catch up with my body, I was moving. The hallway was flying past me as my legs carried me towards the double doors.

I skidded to a halt and looked over my shoulder before pulling open the door, there stood Jasper froze to the ground as he looked at me with questions and hurting eyes. Behind him stood Mr. Cullen, gaping at my courage or cowardice with Rosalie by his size, whose eyes bore into in me, iced over with understanding.

R POV

I couldn't look Jasper in the eye as we took our seats in front of Mr. Cullen's desk. I knew he was hurting, I knew the pain in his eyes would be unbearable, and I knew, if I did look, I wouldn't be able to leave Emmett, like Alice left Jasper.

So I didn't look.

I focused on Mr. Cullen instead.

"I just, I just can't believe this. Ever since _she's_-" Mr. Cullen pointed in the direction Alice had gone, "-been here, you kids have just run wild. Maybe it would just be easier to take care of the cause and the problem will resolve itself." He thought aloud and he paced the small path behind he desk, pausing once or twice to stare out the window.

I could feel Jasper stir next to me, I could feel his discomfort and unease at the idea of Alice being kicked out, but I still couldn't look, or I'd lose my nerve.

Instead, I did what Alice had asked of me and pretended nothing changed, when really, everything had changed that night on the porch. "Good, she's a fucking cunt anyways."

Mr. C's eyes bugged out of their socket as he shouted, "Rosalie!" Just like my mother would scold me. "Never mind your cursing, don't ever use that word again, its so degrading to all women, and horribly offensive."

A sadistic smirk played on my lips as I challenged him, "What you mean cunt? Well, its true, she is a _cunt._"

He flinched with anger at my repetition but ignored it.

"I'm out of options here, all I can do now is expel Alice, and hope you guys learn from it." Mr. Cullen seemed reluctant, like he didn't want it to come to this but he had no other choice. I knew nothing I'd say in this meeting would get me the same fate as Alice, no amount of cussing or swears could ever equal to what Alice did today. With Alice as a comparison, I couldn't do anything to get myself kicked out. Nothing I could do would be as bad.

"Good, maybe she'll learn her place then." I quipped, holding my queen bitch façade as I tried to hide the scheming my eyes no doubt betrayed.

"Would you just shut up, for once Rosalie, please?" Jasper hissed, daring me to look him in the eyes, attempting me to see his pain, to see Emmett's.

Normally I would have had a witty, sarcastic or just plain rude remark, but today I had nothing, I just did as he asked and shut up, for once not having anymore to say.

"I'm placing you both on in school suspension for the week, along with detentions for the next two weeks." Mr. Cullen announced, his usual authoritative, cold expression back in place.

"Are you calling home?" Jasper's uneasy tone made his worries clear.

"I should, but I'll let it go this time. If _it ever _happens _again_ Mr. Whitlock…" He trialed off, letting Jasper's imagination fill in the consequences.

When Mr. C dismissed us, I raced outside to wait by Emmett's jeep, knowing he still had another ten minutes of detention. I scanned the parking lot for Alice's van, but saw nothing. After ten long minutes of shuffling for foot to foot staring at the pavement, Emmett appeared next to me, with a little bundle of black leather, I quickly recognised as Alice's purse.

"Hey Baby girl." Emmett called with a loving smile that made my chest hurt.

"What's that?" I pointed at the purse, waiting for him to confirm what I already knew.

"Home girl's purse." He chuckled as he wrapped his free arm around my shoulders, squeezing me into a one arm hug.

"I can take it to her if you want. Cullen said have to apologise to her." I lied hoping he was too preoccupied looking down my blouse to notice.

Emmett muttered something unintelligible and tossed me the bag, not piling his eyes away from my cleavage for a second. If it had been anyone else, I would have smacked them, but Emmett is the reason I dress like this. I like it went other guys look, Emmett doesn't but I think he should because everyone knows I belong to Emmett, so when other boys check out my tits or ass or whatever, its like a compliment to Emmett. They can look, dream, fantasize and curse the fact, all they want but it wont change anything.

"So babe, what's the plans for tonight?" I mumbled, staring at my shoes, so he couldn't see the guilt my eyes held.

"Trainin'. Got a game next week, sorry B." He mumbled reluctantly, looking at the ground, kicking the dirt with his shoe.

"That's okay." I whispered and gave him a peck on the cheek before turning in the direction of my car. "Hey Em?" I called back, capturing his full attention. "You know I love you, right?"

_Please know I'm doing this because I love you. _

"I know baby girl." He closed the gap between us, wrapping his strong arms securely around me, holding me to his chest. "I love you too, Rosalie." He whispered in my ear and squeezed me tighter before letting go and give me a soft kiss.

I watched him leave, willing myself to believe it was he who was leaving me because I wasn't ready to face the reality.

"Goodbye Emmett McCarthy, forget me, as I will never forget you." I whispered as his black jeep spun out of the parking lot. I held back a tear and crossed the lot of my car. I sat behind the steering wheel sobbing for a moment before noticing a torn white sheet tucked under my wiper. I grabbed the sheet, staring at it blankly for a moment.

_Please don't be a ticket, please don't be a ticket. _I grimaced as I flipped it over and grinned when I realised it wasn't a ticket.

My grin fell flat when I read the first line.

_**Tonight.**_

I bit my lip and continued to read it.

_**10 pm. I'll pick you up at the end of your street. If your not there at 10, I'll know you changed your mind. **_

_**A.**_

At the bottom were nine digits scrawled out and the words 'cell phone' written next to it. I quickly got my own phone out and entered her in my contacts before typing a confirmation.

**I'll be there, and I have your purse.****-R.**

I hit send and turned the key, bring the engine of my cherry red BMW convertible to life.

When I got home, mom was in her bedroom and dad was in the shower, which usually means they're out for the night.

I slammed the door behind me, not obnoxiously but simply to catch their attention. Mom came flying down the Victorian style staircase, curlers and all.

"Oh good, Rosie honey your home. You father and I have tickets to the ballet tonight at dinner reservations in an hour. Your supper is in the stove." She said as she raced up the stairs, holding her curlers up as she jogged.

An hour later, they were gone and I was shoving countless pairs of Manolo Blahniks into a suitcase.

Two hours and four suitcases later, I was fucked. I rolled them to the top of the stairs, and pushed them down, like a slinky, a very loud, heavy, huge slinky. It was almost 9'o clock when I finally called Alice for help, realising their was no way I'd be getting those suitcases all the way down the road with some help. She reluctantly agreed to come help me and said she'd be by soon. When I hung up with her, I immediately headed to my parent's room for some cash. I knew my father kept mostly cash, seeing as how most of his income he couldn't declare. I found what I was looking for in a hole inside their mattress and pulled out a nice, but unnoticeable fist full, like I did every time I wanted to go shopping without mom.

I didn't have to wait long for Alice, despite the condition of her van, she sure does move fast.

"Four fucking suitcases Rose? Jesus Christ, those damn things are bigger then me." She huffed standing behind a suitcase and practically disappearing.

My features pleaded with her to let me keep them, but I knew it was a lost cause. "Fine, I'll get a smaller one." I grumbled trying to bargain with her.

"You can keep three Rosalie." She held up three fingers to emphasis her point as I pouted but she wouldn't budge, not even for a puppy dog pout.

"Fine." I muttered and started shoving the contents of one suitcase into the other three and my handbag. After I'd packed a few pairs of shoes and articles of clothing into Alice's purse as well so my own, we quickly lugged the suitcase back upstairs and I locked the door behind me, not once looking back.

"Ali?" I whined as we drove down a dark back road, leading to the outskirts of town and eventually another town all together.

"What Rose?" She exhaled showing her annoyance. I honestly wasn't sure if it was a good idea to annoy her further, but I couldn't help myself.

"Looks like where besties now." I snickered, knowing this would definitely annoy the crap out of her.

"Ugh.-" She groaned, taking her hand off the steering wheel to slap her forehead, while I little smile threatened to break out on her lips, "-If you promise to never, _ever_ say that again, fine."

"I wasn't asking."

"I know."

Then we drove in silence, and I rested until Alice was too tired -or drunk, I should say, to drive anymore, so I took over. Alice fell asleep on my suitcase, reminding me of a tiny, vulnerable kitten, torn away for its mother before ready. I passed throw Port Angelus and continued towards Seattle. We hadn't set a destination yet, we were just driving to wherever. I watched the clock, listened to the radio, focused on the road, and waited for Alice to wake up. Driving at night was always tedious and boring, now more than ever since my mind was plagued with questions, questions I doubt she'd ever answer.

I was broken from these thoughts however, by a low, incoherent mumbled from the back. I wasn't sure if she was awake or not, so I didn't reply and focused on the road.

It was only when I was finally able to make sense of her half conscious mumbles, did panic wash over me. I could hear the contents of the back being shuffled around as she probably stirred in her sleep, but her words scared me, and I anticipated the worst.

"No. Stop. Don't." She panted and I slowed the van, pulling off on the shoulder just as the screaming started.

A POV

My eyes snapped open at my own screaming. This wasn't normal, this time it wasn't just a memory, it was a premonition. It started as a memory, but quickly the scenery changed, and I wasn't alone with him and his friends anymore, Rosalie was there too.

_Shit, Rosalie._ I was suddenly well aware of my surroundings, finally realising I wasn't at my Dad's, in my bed and I wasn't alone. My eyes met Rosalie's as her features aged with panic and worry.

"What the…?" She trailed off, not blinking her panicked eyes once.

"Nothing. Just a memory." I muttered as I climbed over the bench into the passenger's seat.

_That wasn't just a nightmare Alice. That is what will happen. _My conscience crept by into my thoughts before I had the chance to reach for the bottle tucked neatly under the seat. Maybe seeing the future wouldn't be such a bad thing, nothing could be worst then constantly reliving the past. At least if I saw the future and knew what was coming, maybe change wouldn't be so scared because I could plan for it.

_More like run from it. _I pressed the cold glass to my lips and drank in the comfort I'd found in the bottom of countless empty bottles.

Once my drink was finished, Rosalie snatched the bottle from my hands as she pulled back onto the road. I smirked at the fact that she thought she'd got me and pulled two pre-made water bottles of mixes out from under the seat.

"What'cha got there?" She mused, placing the whiskey she'd stolen from my gasp behind her seat.

"A screwdriver for the mechanic." I tossed the bottle of orange liquid at her, "And a rum and coke for the Captain." She giggled at the name she'd given me but her features quickly fell and she shot me a sober look.

"I'll trade you, yours for mine." She whispered and my throat went dry, begging to be wet with boozes.

"al-al-right." I stuttered, tripping over the simple word, because the next ones wont be so simple.

"Well, Alice ask me anything. I think I've told you all but if there's anything I forgot to explain,-" I cut her off, it was now or never.

"My mom hung herself. What was so bad about your life that you needed to leave?" I blurted out, felling oddly lighter as I took a slip of the rum.

"One time I saw my father beat a man half to death. He didn't realise I was home. When he did he told me they were only talking, and to go play inside. I heard on the radio the next week that the man was missing. I used to call him uncle by he was just a friend of my father and my father killed him." She countered and took a swig from her bottle, no doubt washing the bitter taste of the memory from her mind.

"My step father and his friends used to beat me half to death while shooting up with junk." I muttered, trying to push out the memories of what else they used to do.

"One time I accidentally met one of my father's girlfriends. The sad part, I was sixteen and she was eighteen, we were on the cheer squad together the year before." She drank to that, which had become our ritual; give a memory, take a drink, give a memory, take a drink.

"He raped me. He took my virginity on the bed he shared with my mother. He raped me in front of his friends and eventually, he let them rape me too." I stated emotionlessly, feeling nothing anymore, not even numb as I took my drink.

"My twelfth birthday party, Edward's dad busted in, arresting my father and searching the house while I had all the girls from school sleeping over and finding guns and ounces of cocaine." She drank the screwdriver washing away the pain.

"I had to abort my step father's child. A kid from school saw. Everyone knew but I couldn't tell anyone whose it was." I gulped down my drink, but nothing was strong enough to mask the disgusted taste in my mouth. I lit a cigarette, hoping it would at least make it bearable.

"I came home early one day and saw my mother threatening my father at gun point, screaming about his whores. This was right after he'd killed uncle Charlie, I'm surprised she didn't kill him, I would have." I was stunned, I gaped at Rosalie as she drank the memory away. It wasn't her memory that shocked me, but it was how easily she said she would have killed her father.

"I slept with my best friend's boyfriend a few weeks after the abortion, she thought we were carrying on an affair and beat the shit out of me, thinking it was his kid I aborted." I reached for the bottle behind her seat, having finished my own.

"Whatta bitch. Ah, at least you had a few years of real friendship. I've never had a true friend before, everyone either hated me, was scared of my family or used me for protection and social status." Rosalie shook her head and drank.

"I drove my brand new Porsche into a tree after my mother died. I still hate the ambulance guys for saving me." I huffed and stared out the window, willing myself not to cry. There's something about wishing your life was taken from you, when you go a second chance, that no matter how much you wish it were different, it still hurt to wish.

"I don't.-" Rosalie whispered, before letting her voice gain strength, "-You're the first real friend I've ever had."

I snorted, "Well then, poor you 'cause apparently I'm a pretty lousy friend." only now did I realise how true that statement was. I'd been a horrible friend to Jane, to Bella, to Edward, to Emmett and to Jasper.

"Nah, people just except to much of their friends. The whole concept is overrated and holds too much merit. Like everyone has their own new labels to slap on a friend before they can define it as such, when in reality a friend is just someone that helps you and receives help from you. Not judgement, not guilt, not even trust, just help."

I sat in silence for a while, letting her harsh but realistic words sink in.

"Do you love him Alice?" Rosalie pulled me from my thoughts, and sending me into a whole new spiral of confusion. I didn't even have to ask her to elaborate, when I looked at her expression, I knew.

_Do I like him?_

"Yes. yes I do."

"Then why did you leave him?" I could tell she was looking for validation in my actions for her own, and if I couldn't be a descent friend to her, I could at least give her that.

"Because he deserves someone whole. Someone without my past. Someone who can give themselves to him completely."

_But yes, yes I do love Jasper Whitlock with every fibre of me that can still hold love, but the question is, is there enough pieces left. Is it enough and will it ever be enough?_

Rosalie and I switched places, and thoughts of Jasper Whitlock plagued my mind as I drove towards a midnight Seattle outline.

Jimmy POV

I awoke with an uneasy sense of panic rushing over me, a full two hours before my alarm was set. My feet propelled me to the door and down the hallway, towards Alice's bedroom before my mind could register my actions. The door flung open with ease and I silently thanked the lord she hadn't replaced that darn lock but my silent praise quickly vanished as my eyes fell upon her empty bed.

_Okay, okay. No worries, she is probably upset with me and snuck out to stay at a friend's. _As much as I tried to reign in my fears, my worries grew stronger. I knew I was jumping to conclusions, but my daughter is missing, and I have no idea who her friend's are or where she could be.

My thoughts immediately fell on Jacob as my legs carried me towards the phone without the knowledge of my mind, until my fingers pushed against the keypad.

"Whatta- Hello?" A very groggy Billy answered and only then did I realise it was four o'clock in the morning.

_He would do the same if it was Jake._ "Bill, it's Jimmy. Alice snuck out last night and I don't know where she would have went, I need to speak with Jacob." I tried to keep my voice from cracking, but my mind was racing to the worst case scenario and I didn't like it one bit.

"Alice! Well, why didn't you say so. I'll go wake him up." Billy sounded live and alert now, as if panic of his own son not being in his bed, shot through Billy's mind. I heard Billy trying to wake Jacob up, but not even Jacob's 'fuck off dad' could lighten the mood. My stomach was in knots, and I had a every bad feeling about this.

"Hel-lo?" Jacob mumbled, in a way one would talk in their sleep.

"Jacob, Alice is missing, I need to know who her friends are, and where she could have gone?" I held a neutral, concerned parent tone. No need to worry Jake, Billy may understand, but Jacob certainly wouldn't.

"Uh…Bella.-" He muttered in a dreamy, puppy love voice. In any other circumstance, Billy and I would have teased him, saying he had a crush on this girl, but now was not the time. "- Bella Swan, Edward Masen's girlfriend." His voice grew stronger and I would assume he was waking up.

Before I could ask any more questions, Billy voice rang through my ears, "I'm on my way. I'm just going to make sure Jacob gets up and I'll be there as soon as possible."

After I protested and finally gave in, we said our goodbyes and I paced the room, waiting for Billy to arrive or the hours to pass so I could call Elizabeth Masen.

Calling Liz was my second biggest fear next to something happening to Alice, well third actually. My second biggest fear would be something happening to my son.

Billy arrived not long after he said he would and he immediately went to the kitchen and started fixing breakfast.

"You know how teenagers are, I'm sure she's just at a friend's house. Or at worst a boy's house." Billy called from the other room, not easing the worry I'd felt one bit.

_A boy's house? God I hope not…wait, what was that boy's name that took her on a date that time?_

Billy and I sat in silence as we waited for the hours to tick by, so I could call Liz. Now not only was Alice missing, but this would be the first time I'd talked to Liz since Alice was born. To say I wasn't scared shitless would be a lie.

Finally seven o'clock rolled by and my shaky fingers dialled the nine digit number.

"Masen Residents." A female voice rang blissfully through the phone.

"Liz…" I hesitated and I could hear her breathing hitch through the phone.

"Jimmy?" She whispered softly as if she'd just seen a ghost.

"I need to talk to the boy Liz."

Then there was heavy breathing, panting almost. "You can't Jimmy. No, Tom doesn't even know, please, you can't. Don't. Please!" She begged, panic and concern for her son wide thick in her tone.

"Liz, I need to speak to my son, it's about Alice."

Billy gasped.

* * *

**Wow... wait, WHAT?**

**Bet you didn't see that coming. :)**


	11. Like Bat out of Hell

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, SM does. (Duh.) I don't own Bat Country either, Avenged Sevenfold does.**

**Thanks to all that reviewed, you support keeps me going. :)**

**If you've never heard Bat Country by Avenged Sevenfold, you should seriously check it out. The lyrics are written out in bold in this chapter, but if you have a free minute, listen to the song to get the full effect.**

**ENJOY!**

**xo**

* * *

Jimmy POV

"You're not going to tell Edward, are you? Please, he can't know, not yet." Liz pleaded with me, not fully understanding my intentions for phoning.

"No Liz. I need to talk to him about Alice, nothing more." I insisted as Billy still gaped at me.

I heard some shuffling on the line then a strong male voice rang through the receiver.

"Hello Edward, this is Mr. Brandon. Alice's father." I announced, trying to keep a parental tone.

"Oh Good morning Sir. How can I help you?" I was momentarily shocked with Edward's politeness. _That was my son, polite and respectful. Liz sure did a good job. _

"Uh, well Alice snuck out last night and Jacob mentioned something about your girlfriend Bella, I believe. He said they were close?" I stuttered and tripped over my words. _Polite, respectful and a ladies' man, what else could a father ask for?_

"Yes Sir. I'll get you the number, but if I may be so bold, Alice has also been spending a lot of time with Jasper Whitlock, Bella's cousin. They live together, so it may be a good idea to also speak to him about her whereabouts. Do you have a pen?"

I scribbled down the nine digit number and thanked Edward, who politely said good day and promised to call if he had anymore information.

When I hung up, Billy shouted, grabbing my attention before I could dial the new number, "Edward Masen is your son!" I sighed, no one in town knew this except for Liz, myself and Victoria.

"Yes, but it was before Alice was born and a few months before Vicky and I were married." I mumbled, trying to regret getting Liz pregnant, but I couldn't. how could I regret a human life, much less one so respectful. I dialled the other number, since my confession had rendered Billy speechless and waited for someone to pick up.

"Mornin'." A man's southern drawl came through the phone.

"Hello, may I please speak to Bella or Jasper?" I muttered the boy's name reluctantly, not really wanting to hear it from him if she was there.

"This is Jasper." His voice became stern, unsure and questioning all at once.

"Hi Jasper, this is Mr. Brandon, Alice's _father._" I emphasised on father so he knew he was in trouble.

"Oh uh.- Hey Mr. Brandon, is everything alright? Is Alice okay?" He rambled and I could tell he really cared for her well being, despite being a teenage boy with only one thing on his mind.

"You tell me? Is she there? She snuck out last night and I don't know where she went." I hissed, secretly hoping she was and half hoping she wasn't, or she was at least with Bella, not Jasper.

"Oh god, um, she's not here." He raised his voice, not rudely but full of panic and I could tell I'd freaked him out.

"Is she with Bella?" My own voice raised, betraying my worry.

"One second. -BELLA?" Jasper shouted and let me overhear they're conversation.

"Do you know where Alice is? Her father's looking for her." Jasper said.

"Uh, no…I can call Emmett or Edward and ask them if they've seen her?" A girl's voice replied.

"Mr. Brandon, Bella hasn't heard from her, but we'll call around and I can call you if I see her in school today?" Jasper said, trying to hold a calm tone for my sake, but he failed miserably.

_At least he does seem to care about her._

"I've already called Edward Masen, that's how I got this number, but I would like this Emmett character's number." Jasper didn't hesitate to give me the number and promise to call if he sees Alice.

I looked to Billy as I dialled the next number, his shock faded to concern as this was the fourth call and fifth child I would be speaking too.

"Yo, This be big E man's pizza, whatta yeah want?" I was instantly able to put a face to the voice. It was definitely Hank's loud, over-grown son, Emmett. As if I needed confirmation, there was a voice in the background shouting, "Emmett! I told you not to answer the phone like that!" Followed by a whiny protest closer to the receiver, "Aw, Mom you know I'm just playin'."

The boy then sighed into the receiver and started over, "McCarthy house."

"Hi, I assume this is Emmett speaking? This is Mr. Brandon, Alice's dad." I stated running on autopilot as I had the next few lines memorized by now.

"Oh what's crackin' Mr. B?" The boy's voice boomed through the phone and by the snicker from behind me, I guess it was loud enough for Billy to hear.

"I'm looking for Alice, have you heard from or seen her? She snuck out last night and I've already tried phoning Bella, Jasper and Edward. They gave me your number."

A moment of silence passed between us and I waited for a response. "I haven't heard nothing from ma home girl, but chill a moment, I got a call on da other line."

Emmett POV

"Wha'z happenin'." I muttered into the phone, so mama doesn't hear and gimme shit again.

"Emmett, this is Royce. May I please speak to Rosalie?" Suddenly, my lungs filled with cement and I couldn't breath.

Finally gasping for air I found my voice, "She's not here." I held the phone stiffly to my ear, waiting for Rosalie's father to say something more.

"Emmett! Three of her Louis Vutton suitcases are missing. Where is she?" Darcy cried almost in hysterics.

"I don't know. I need to phone you back." I stated coldly and hung up, flipping back to Mr.B's line but it was dead. I quickly hit star sixty-nine and grasped the phone for dear life.

"Hello?" Mr. B's unease voice came through the phone but this time it was mixed with hope. Probably hoping it was Alice calling.

"Mr. B, it's Emmett. The other call was Royce Hale, Rosalie is gone and three of her suitcases are missing."

I waited for a reply, information, answers, anything I could use to find Rosalie and bring her home.

All I got was the piercing sound of glass shattering on his end.

Then nothing.

Finally, an unfamiliar voice spoke through the phone, "Emmett, do you think there together? Isn't that the girl Alice got into a fight with? Are they friends? Would they be together?"

"I…I, uh, -I don't know." I sighed with defeat, how could I not have known who Rosalie hangs out with. How could I not of figured it out, they were both missing from school yesterday, but Rose kept insisting she hated Alice.

An act? A coincidence? A ruse? Fuck, I wish I knew.

"Would you mind calling the other kids? I'm going to call Royce and figure this out." The man stated but a sudden concern washed over me.

"Don't call Royce, I'll do it. He's going to flip his lid when he finds out." I knew it sounded cowardly, but Royce Hale scared the crap out of me. The man mumbled something and hung up. I immediately dialled Jasper's cell phone.

The ringing stopped and I didn't give him a chance to speak. "Pick up Edward, bring Bella and come pick me up Jasper. Do it now."

"Who is this?" His voice came out puzzled and only then did I realise for the first time in years I wasn't speaking my usual street talk.

"Emmett, do it now. Its about Rosalie and Alice." I hung up before he could question me, gathered my things and waited in the driveway. It wasn't long before Edward's silver soccer-mom Volvo pulled up and I hoped in next to Jasper.

But now I had no clue what to do.

J POV

_Rosalie and Alice?_

_Alice and Rosalie?_

Which ever way you spin it, it just doesn't add up. Or at least it didn't, until I replayed my last interact with Rosalie.

_Good, she's a fucking cunt anyways._ Rosalie would never say cunt, she knows its wrong. She knows its something her father would say, but something so disgusting, she'd never say it.

_Would you just shut up, for once Rosalie, please? _and she listened, but never once looking me in the eyes after Alice left.

_Fuck. _

_Fuck. _

_FUCK. _

_This was planned. _I groaned internally at my realisation. I'd been so caught up with Alice, I had let Rose's strange behaviour slip. _Why didn't I see it before?_

_How could I be such a fool?_

"Where to?" Edward's detached voice broke me from my self loathing.

"Park. We got to talk." I hissed and returned to my bubble of thought, not saying anything more until we were sitting on a picnic bench, near mine and Alice's spot.

Now, I couldn't let my observation skills fail me, someone had to know something.

I looked to Edward, whose face visibly aged with worry before my very eyes.

Next to Emmett, who looked ready to pull his hair out to try to ease his anxiety.

Then finally to Bella, who sat still, occasionally flinching and fidgeting with lip…like she does when she is nervous and stressed. "Bella…?" My eyes grew wide as they met her knowing ones but she quickly broke our gaze, looking around like a deer caught in the headlights.

"I, I-…I don't know anything." She snapped with a horrible, out of place lie.

"How'd you know what I was going to ask?" I insisted with a little too much smugness.

"Okay, okay.-" she sighed in defeat and looked to me with pleading eyes, "-I know stuff, but nothing about their whereabouts or even if they're friends, I just know about Alice's past."

"What do you know Bella?" Edward pressed before I could find words. _She told Bella?_ A sudden feeling of betrayal burned in the pit of my stomach, I know I shouldn't be jealous, but why couldn't she trust me?

"No. I promised I would never say. I'm sorry, but I don't know anything that could lead us to her." Bella insisted. I could see the pressure on her, she didn't want to crack, but she was scared if she didn't and something happened to Alice, she would be blamed.

"Lets go speak to Mr. Brandon. See if Alice has anywhere she could go." Edward stated, trying to keep a level head but I could see he was breaking inside. We listened mindlessly to Edward's instructions on what to say, what not to say, knowing full well none of us will remember a word he'd said.

When we got to Alice's house, we found her father drowning his concerns in a seemingly bottomless cup of coffee. An older looking version of Jacob Black poured us each a cup of coffee and motioned for us to sit with Jimmy.

Jimmy's eyes flickered to each of us briefly, but lingered on Edward as the slightest smile appeared on his lips before he could hide it away by looking in my direction and grimacing. Edward extended his hand across the table, and announced, "Hello Sir, I'm Edward Masen, we spoke on the phone. It's a pleasure to meet you, though I wish it was under better circumstances."

_Ah, Edward. Always the kiss ass, even under the worst of situations. _

Jimmy shook his hand and mumbled gravely, "Me too, Edward, me too." I got the feeling though, he wasn't talking about Alice anymore.

"This is my girlfriend Bella Swan, Emmett McCarthy and Jasper Whitlock." Edward pointed us each out, but Jimmy's eyes stayed on Bella, eyeing her up and down, assessing her in an all too familiar way, making Bella and myself very uncomfortable. The way he was looking at her sort of reminded me of the night I picked Alice up for the party.

"Nice to meet you all." He muttered and broke away from Bella, catching himself staring.

After a moment of silence, Edward spoke up again, "Is there anywhere Alice could have gone? Is there anyone that you know of, that would take her in?"

Jimmy shook his head, and sighed into his coffee, "She hasn't spoken to any of her old friend's in Seattle since she's been here."

_Seattle, of course. _

"Did she take her van?" I blurted out being suddenly hit by an idea. He nodded mindlessly and continued to search the bottom of his mug.

"License plate number?" I pressed and waited for him to get a piece of paper and scribble out the numbers in barely legible handwriting.

"Thanks." I muttered, finished my coffee and jumped from my seat, trying to hold myself back from running to the door, as I knew the others would try to follow me.

"Jasper?" Emmett boomed from the front door. I turned to him, silently asking him to stay, "Where you going?"

I quickly though up an excuse so Emmett wouldn't try to come with me, "I just need to get out of here. I just… I just got to think about things."

Emmett nodded and I waited for the front door to close before I started running. I was out of breath when I got home and started my truck, speeding down the crappy Fork's road. I pulled into the drive way, not bothering to knock and waltzed right into the lavish home.

"Jasper? What are you doing here?" Royce meet me in the entrance, followed closely by three burly men in leather coats.

"I need a car. Preferably your fastest." I ordered, taking Royce by surprise and his men moved to his flanks before he waved them off.

"This is my nephew Jasper." He said to the men, and there features relaxed. "Now, Jasper…?" He eyed me with confusion.

"I'm going after Rosalie and Alice. I need your fastest car. Also, I want you to track her credit cards, see if you can find a location."

Royce waved his men off, sending them out of the room, before his attention focused on me, "I wouldn't know how to do that." He played dumb, but I was in no mood.

"Bullshit Uncle Royce. I know what you are, I know what you do. Now, make some calls, and find out. Here,-" I pulled the licences plate number from my pocket, memorized it and shoved it to him, "-it's Alice's van's plate number. I don't care what you have to do, just get me the information."

Royce nodded, leaving the room and emerging with a set of keys. He showed me to the garage and took down my cell number, promising to call when he had my information. I pulled the black Mercedes Benz from the over sized garage and raced down the street, towards the Masen's house, hoping Edward wasn't home yet.

I got there just in time to make Mr. Masen late for work. I left the Mercedes running as I hoped out and ran to the driver's side of Mr. Masen's black SUV.

"Oh hello Jasper, what can I do for you?" He said through the window, shutting off the engine, not out of politeness but because I'd parked the Mercedes behind him.

"I need your help finding Alice Brandon and Rosalie Hale." I held back a growl as a smirk curled at the corner of his lips.

"And why would I help Royce Hale of all people? Don't think I don't know his black Mercedes Benz when I see it, half my job is to follow the damn prick around." I couldn't bit back the growl this time as he refused to help me find Alice.

As if she'd heard my uncle's name and came running Judge Elizabeth Masen appeared in the driveway.

_Great, now I'm out voted._

"What's this about Royce?" She mused, with a predator's smile.

"Oh nothing Dear, just that Hale girl ran off with that Alice Brandon and Jasper here, wants me to _help _Royce Hale, can you believe that?" Mr. Masen laughed and I didn't even attempt to hold back my snarl.

"We'll help." Mr. Masen took me by surprise and my eyes almost bugged out of my head, as did Mr. Masen's. "I mean, think about poor Jimmy. What if it were our Edward?" They way she spoke I could tell it had more to do with Alice's father than anything else. If I wasn't so focused on Alice, I may have wondered.

"Fine, but be sure you tell Royce I'm not doing this for him, not after he…" Mr. Masen trailed off, arousing my suspicion. I knew if I straight up asked him, he would blow me off, like all adults do, so I went with a little more of an underhanded tactic.

"Why are so hard on Uncle Royce, he's a good man." Even I knew that was a bad, bullshit of a lie, but it worked. Mr. Masen's eyes lit up with fury and his face went red, the vein in his forehead pulsing, threatening to explode.

"A good man? Royce Hale? He's a cold blooded murderer! Would a good man have killed-"

Mrs. Masen cut him off, "Tom, don't." She warned, but he was too far gone.

"Would a good man have killed your uncle in cold blood? His wife's fucking brother? Christ, Charlie was practically family to him! Royce Hale is not a good man, he deserves to be locked away with the rest of the scum! It should be him in the ground, not Charlie."

_WHAT?_ All I could do was gape.

"Whatever you need Jasper." Mrs. Masen tried to console me, but I was gone, lost in a world of thought.

"D-Does R-Rosalie know?" I stammered out in shock, unaware that I'd even spoken until Mr. Masen answered me.

"Yes, your parents know as well." I blanched.

_How could they have lied to me and to Bella all these years?_

I brought myself back by reminding myself why I was here. _Alice. _

I gave Mr. Masen the license plate, and told him to call me if they were spotted. He promised he wouldn't let any cop cars go after them and would have every cop in Seattle on the look out. He also said he would try to keep the police off my tail so I could get there as fast as I could drive.

I spun out of the driveway, leaving Fork's in my dust, like a bat out of hell.

I was the bat, and Fork's without Alice, was hell.

A POV

Rosalie blared her crappy radio station, successfully annoying the shit out of me, until a familiar song came on, my song.

**He who makes a beast out of himself, gets rid of the pain of being a man.**

I immediately found myself screaming the words to the entire song.

**Caught here in a fiery blaze, won't lose my will to stay. **

**I tried to drive all through the night, the heat stroke ridden weather, the barren empty sights. **

**No oasis here to see, the sand is singing deathless words to me.**

A rainless Seattle seems dreary compared to the groggy Fork's I'd left behind. Maybe it can become my oasis, but I doubt it.

**Can't you help me as I'm startin' to burn, all alone. **

**Too many doses and I'm starting to get an attraction. **

**My confidence is leaving me on my own, all alone. **

**No one can save me and you know I don't want the attention.**

I bit my lip and waited for the next line, as the background chorus replayed in my mind, _All alone. All alone. _

All the while sipping on my attraction.

**As I adjust to my new sights the rarely tired lights will take me to new heights. **

**My hand is on the trigger I'm ready to ignite. **

**Tomorrow might not make it but everything's all right. **

**Mental fiction, follow me; show me what it's like to be set free.**

I knew all the words, every line, every break, and I can't describe what they mean to me, simply are me, and set me free.

**Can't you help me as I'm startin' to burn, all alone. **

**Too many doses and I'm starting to get an attraction.**

**My confidence is leaving me on my own, all alone. **

**No one can save me and you know I don't want the attention.**

**So sorry you're not here I've been sane too long my vision's so unclear. **

**Now take a trip with me but don't be surprised when things aren't what they seem. **

Almost as if the song were speaking from me to Rosalie, I watch her from the corner of my eye as she stares blankly at the road ahead.

**Caught here in a fiery blaze, won't lose my will to stay.**

**These eyes won't see the same, after I flip today.**

_I'm sorry,_ I wish he knew, I wish he understood.

**Sometimes I don't know why we'd rather live than die, we look up towards the sky for answers to our lives. **

_My lone moon, the dark but brilliant stars, the years when I was the sun. _

**We may get some solutions but most just pass us by, don't want your absolution cause I can't make it right. **

**I'll make a beast out of myself, gets rid of all the pain of being a man.**

I tried to blink back a tear. Hearing it being said made what I have become real, what I have chosen to become. I am the beast.

**Can't you help me as I'm startin' to burn, all alone. **

**Too many doses and I'm starting to get an attraction. **

**My confidence is leaving me on my own, all alone. **

**No one can save me and you know I don't want the attention.**

_I don't want the attention, but maybe I needed to be saved._

**So sorry you're not here I've been sane too long my vision's so unclear. **

**Now take a trip with me but don't be surprised when things aren't what they seem.**

**I've known it from the start all these good ideas will tear your brain apart. **

**Scared but you can follow me I'm too weird to live but much too rare to die.**

_I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Jasper, I never would wish it upon you to take this desolate trip with me._ I silently begged him to know I was okay, to know he'd be happier now. I steadied my breathing, there was a reason I'd called this my song, there was a reason I'd chose this one, but I couldn't think of it, it hurt so much living each word. It scared me hearing someone say it.

Rosalie eyed me cautiously for a moment, assessing my sanity.

"Bat Country." I mumbled, before I realised the irony. We were on our way to Bat Country and nothing could safe us now, not even my vision, because as the song goes, it was unclear. Deep down, I knew it was a premonition but I refused to believe it.

"Want to crash for the day? Less cops at night." Rosalie muttered as she pointed over the steering wheel to a shotty motel. I merely nodded and she pulled off, parking and getting us a key.

I dragged one of Rosalie's massive suitcases out of the car and quickly gave up on the other two.

When we got into our motel room, I chuckled a little at Rose's reaction. Not only did she sport a disappointed grimace on her features, but her nose wrinkled in disgust.

"Well, Toto. We ain't in Kansas anymore." I mumbled smugly as Rose just stared blankly. It took her a moment to get the reference and when she did, she flipped me off, grabbing her suitcase and dragging it to the bed.

"Fuck Kansas. All they got is liars and gossips'." Rosalie stated with a superior grin, giving off the sense that she wasn't referring to Kansas.

As we settled in for the day, I could tell Rosalie wouldn't sleep easy in those maybe-maybe-not-washed motel sheets, I on the other hand, wouldn't sleep a wink, knowing if what I saw was really a vision of the future, I didn't want to see anymore.

Edward POV

"Goddamn voicemail again!" I slammed my cell phone down on the picnic table with enough force to break the screen. _Oh well. _"Prick." I muttered under my breath as I reached for Bella's cell phone, but she pulled it away from my gasp. Probably protecting it from the same fate that had befallen mine.

"How could he do this to us. Doesn't he know I would have fucking gone with him?" Emmett shouted, pounding both his fists into the table top for emphasis.

"Of course he did. That's why he didn't say anything." Bella said with an implied 'duh' in her tone, shaking her head at the obviousness of the situation.

"Well, do we go after him?" Emmett bellowed and I tightened my grasp around Bella. Emmett may be as gentle as a puppy, but he has the strength of a bear and you never know how someone will react with their back against the wall. If Emmett was a puppy, he would be a Great Dane, unaware of his strength and size, so when he is excited or angry, he could cause some serious, unintentional damage.

"Its too late, we'll never catch up to him. All we can do now is wait." I muttered, trying to keep a neutral tone and stay strong for the group. When really, I was dying each minute that my father didn't call with news about Alice.

We retired to my house for the night. None of us went to school today, but I'm sure Mr. Cullen will understand. I mean if something happens to one of us, it happens to us all. We're a group now, a unit with one heart beat and if one heart stops beating, then the whole will never work the same again.

Even though we'd only known Alice for a little more than two weeks, she was part of this unit. I couldn't help the protective feeling I felt about her. Its entirely different from the way I feel protective of Bella, I know Bella is strong and able to take care of herself, without me always stepping in. Alice though, I feel so protective of her, like I don't want anyone to ever hurt her. I'm not even sure I trust Jasper fully around her.

Being an only child, I guess this is what it would feel like having a sister.

We waited for my father to phone with information, while Emmett had his cell phone already encase Royce Hale had any news and Bella's phone was ready and waiting for Mr. Brandon's calls. We had a perfect system set up, but no one called. We fell asleep on the floor of the sitting room, with our phone in our hands.

Then the phone rang.

J POV

I drove all day, not resting until I got to Seattle, but by then it was night fall. I heard my cell phone ringing the whole drive, but I couldn't answer without risking my neck, I was driving much to fast to take my hands off the wheel. When I finally got a hotel room, down town Seattle, I checked my phone.

_34 missed alerts._

_26 voicemails._

_49 text messages._

I checked the voice mails first, "Jasper, where the hell are you…" Bella.

"Dude, what the fuck?…" Edward.

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Emmett. _Crap. He sounds pissed. _

I listened to the rest of them, all from Bella, Edward or Emmett. Bella's messages got less and less angry, becoming more and more worried. Edward's when from voicing his betrayal to strategising and planning. Emmett's messages however, just went from pissed off to more pissed off.

I checked the missed phone calls and the text messages, all of them we're from Emmett, Bella and Edward. None from Royce, Mr. Masen, Mr. Brandon or even my own damn parents. _I guess they didn't even notice I was missing. Figures. _I was going to call the guys and tell them I was okay, but after I brushed my teeth, it totally escaped my mind and I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

Calling may have been the last thing on my mind when I fell asleep, but it was the first thing I could remember when I woke up.

Now the question is, do I face Emmett's wrath, Bella's questions or Edward's schemes?

_Edward, it is._

I dialled his number, not in the mood to get yelled at by Emmett or interrogated by Bella.

"Jasper? Dude, where are you? Emmett's peaking. Bella and I have been worried sick." Edward didn't even give me a chance to say hello before he jumped down my throat.

"Tell Bella I'm fine. I'm in Seattle. Tell Emmett I'm sorry."

I heard some shuffling in the background then Emmett shouting, "Gimme the phone. I want to talk to that asshole."

"Emmett said apology accepted." Edward chuckled but I could hear Emmett yelling once more, "No I didn't."

"It's fine. So have you guys heard anything?" I muttered and started packing my bags to hit the road again.

"No unfortunately, but I'm hoping we'll hear something today. Bella is on standby for Alice's father, Emmett for Rosalie's and I'm waiting to hear from mine."

I groaned into the phone, signalling I wanted to be done with the conversation. It's a good thing I chose to call Edward, he got the hint, Bella and Emmett wouldn't have.

After saying goodbye, I took my stuff to the car and checked out. I considered my options, but could only come up with one; drive around Seattle until I see them or night falls.

I did just that, driving around in Seattle traffic with no destination in mind. Finally as twilight rolled around my cell phone started to blare.

"Hello?" I didn't bother with the caller ID, I knew no one would be calling me for gossip. Poor Emmett, his phone must be ringing off the hook from the catty chicks at school who want to know why we all missed school yesterday.

"Jasper? It's Tom Masen. We tracked Rosalie's credit card to a shabby motel just off route one-eighty. Apparently, they'd spend the day there and checked out only a few hours ago. So they're definitely in Seattle. I'll call back if I get anything more. Goodbye Jasper, and good luck." He hung up before I could say anymore, so I turned around and drove up and down route 180 until I saw the motel in question.

When I finally found the crack-den of a motel, I went in and spoke with the day manager, asking him if he'd seen Alice or Rosalie. The greasy, 'heavy' set man described Rosalie as the 'hot blonde with 'em big tities?' and Alice as 'The hot chick's jailbait kid there, with the black hair?' To say I didn't want to kick the scum load's ass would be an understatement. I held back though and left without another word.

I called Edward as soon as I was back in the car and had my nerves under control.

"Yeah?" Edward greeted, curtly cutting to the point. _Again, gotta love Edward._

"They're together. Call Jimmy and Royce, so they at least know the girls are not alone." I ordered and snapped the phone shut, preparing to drive around Seattle again until I'm eyes can't stay open any longer. I drove around for a bit, storing at a gas station to buy an energy drink, so I could postpone sleep as long as possible. Just as I was getting back in the car, my phone began to ring.

"Hello?" I mumbled, hoping it was someone with answers, not more questions.

"Jasper. It's me.-" I recognized Royce's voice immediately and I felt sick to my stomach.

_Not the time, not the time. _I chanted to myself and let him speak, "My cop in Seattle spotted a light blue van with the licence number you gave me. He said it was parked outside a bar called Volturi, on the west outskirts of the city."

"How long?" I asked, hoping the trail was still fresh.

"He phone from his car. He's supposed to phone me back if they try to leave. He will stop them with a parking ticket or something." On any other occasion I would have laughed at the irony. The FBI agent tracking Rose's credit card, and the Mob boss having a cop help him.

"They're still there?" I blurted out absentmindedly in shock.

"Yes, the address is six-six-six Vorterra blvd."

"On my way." I snapped the phone shut and raced towards downtown, trying to get through the light traffic as quickly as the Mercedes could allow.

A POV

I'd never been to the Volturi on a Tuesday night, Jane and I used to come with the boys on Friday nights when the younger crowd was around, but even being surrounded by different people, the Volturi still brought back only memories of happy times. The old days, back when Jane and I would dance all night, when Felix and I would shoot shots at the dirty bar counter, when Demetri and I would chain smoke our drunk asses' off, when Alec and I would slid into a dark booth and screw around, just for the sake of having fun. Back when my social life was simple and my home life hell.

Determined to relive the old days, Rose and I shot shots until we were drunk enough to dance to the crappy Tuesday night music. Hour after hour passed in this fashion, the crowd was becoming less and less 'happy hour' and increasingly spilling over into self-pitying alcoholic territory.

_Not like you don't fit in._

I ignored my conscience and continued dancing, until I was out of this world, and into another.

My eyes automatically darted to the door, I wasn't able to control my body anymore, my surroundings didn't make sense. I was still in the Volturi, but everything had changed. the faces were all different, people had left, new people had come but Rosalie was still dancing to my side, oblivious that I had stopped moving.

I watched the door as four vaguely familiar men entered, something about them made my stomach flip, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

Against my will, my eyes stayed on the door, when I really would have rather seen where the strangely familiar men went and what they were doing.

But all that was pushed from my brain as the door flung open, revealing the fifth man from my dream, _him…_

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**...? Let me know. (:**


	12. An Empty Seat

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, and anything esle that isn't my creation.**

**I LOVE ALL THAT REVIEWED/READ!**

**Okay, so I'm a little nervous about posting this chapter. To me, it is very controversial. So I'd just like to say, I do not believe in hell. I cannot say more that that at this point, but I will explain all at the end of the chapter.**

**So this is the last chapter of MPDG, I'm in the process of writing an epilogue but I'm not sure I like it as much as the rest of the story. If I do post it, it will not be a long chapter, just a little glimpse into their futures. I don't know, let me know if you guys want an epilogue, but just a heads up, it wont be as good as the rest of the story.**

**Just a heads up, there will be a HUGE ass author's note at the end of this chapter. :)**

**And as always, ENJOY!**

**xo**

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A POV

My eyes flew open and my hand came down on Rosalie's wrist, jerking her dancing to a halt. I stared at the door cautiously, now there were different faces in the room, but they were the same ones as before they'd changed. I watched wide eyed and shocked as one man left, a new one came. This pattern continued for about five minutes before Rosalie started dancing again and light peaked in from the street at the slow moving wooden door, and I knew it was too late, he was here.

Just as I'd seen mere moments ago, the four men entered, scanning the room as the door flew open once more, and my feet suddenly became cemented to the floor. I wanted to run, but I couldn't move. I needed to run, but my legs wouldn't listen.

Rosalie hadn't stopped moving however, until the four men had causally and discreetly circled us on the dance floor. Their formation only broke as they made room for him to walk between them, but quickly closed the circle behind him.

"Well, hello Mary Alice.-" Laurent sadistic smirk set every alarm and warning bell off, but still my legs disobeyed me. "-I've missed you."

Before I could find my voice, two of the men had their arms wrapped around Rosalie's arms and she struggled against them.

"Be careful with her. That's the one Royce wants." Laurent dictated, earning a piercing shriek from Rosalie as she shouted at the men, refusing to go back.

"But he didn't say anything about _my_ Mary Alice." His hands landed firmly on my hips and pulling me into him. This time though, I did struggle, I did fight for myself, and before I knew it I was sent hurling to the ground as the salty taste of my own blood pooled in my mouth. I knew from experience I should stay down, I'd never gotten up before, but today was different, today I would fight. I slowly pulled myself up on my wobbly legs, showing Laurent I wouldn't back down that easy, not this time.

By now, everyone had cleared out of the bar, leaving Rose and I alone with the five men.

The back of Laurent's hand made connect with my cheek, and my shaky legs gave out, sending me back to the floor, face first.

"When did you learn to stand up for yourself Mary Alice? Haven't I taught you better then that?-" Laurent hissed as he stood over me. "-Actually, it's kind of hot."

He bent down, straddling my lifeless body as I didn't move, but his fist collided with my cheek for good measure, knocking the wind out of me. The two of the men were now holding down my arms as Laurent readied himself to rape me again, sending his fist repeatedly into my face and stomach so I would be too hurt to move.

Rosalie's screams filled the air around me. She called my name over and over again, but I couldn't answer, I was too ashamed. Rosalie didn't need to see this, it was my fault she'd have to.

I could hear Rosalie screaming what should be my inner monolog, 'no, don't, please stop, no.' but I was too plagued with guilt, and I all I could think about was the half broken, but soon to be fully detached friend I'd made and scarred in under a week.

Suddenly, a ray of light pierced through the dark room, and I was saved. I'd finally gotten my wish, I was finally going to join mom in the next life. Through swollen eyes I watched an angel appear in the light. The angel's features were distorted by the blinding light, but I could tell he was beautiful, I just knew. I closed my eyes and let myself fall into the unwakable sleep that was my fate.

R POV

"ALICE?" I screamed, she wasn't moving, her eyes were closed. I struggled against the two men, to get to her, but I couldn't break free of their grasp.

_She can't be dead. He couldn't have killed her!_

I panicked and screamed and shrieked and kicked but nothing worked. The men on top of her wasn't going to stop, and I couldn't stop him.

Tears of anger, fear and frustration rolled down my cheeks, but I couldn't look away. I knew when I was free I would kill the men myself, I would become my father's daughter and take their life's into my hands. These men don't deserve to live.

I watched as the man, who called himself her father, torn her blouse. I let the anger build up inside me, so I would be able to pulled the trigger when the time came. I was so immersed in these thoughts, that I didn't notice the door opening until there was a man standing in the fully lit doorway.

"Put your hands were I can see them!" He shouted firmly, his face still distorted from the light of the street behind him, but the guns in both his hands were clear as day. The men started scrambling, and I took my chance to free myself. I turned quickly and brought one men to his knees by landing my knee into his groin and did the same to the other man before he had a chance to react. Everything in my body told me to run, but my eyes stayed fixed on Alice's limp, lifeless figure and I knew I couldn't leave her.

I watched the figure in the doorway cautiously, as he slowly moved out of the light and into the room, guns still positions for the kill.

"Get off her _now_ and maybe I wont blow your brains across the wall." The man shouted calmly as the monster rose to his feet, his hands lifted into the air above him.

"Do you have any idea who you're messing with kid?" The leader hissed his threat through clenched teeth.

"If I spare your life, Royce certainly will not." The man from the door moved closer and closer, his figure becoming increasingly pronounced as I still couldn't make out his face, but his body and blonde wavy locks became apparent.

"Jasper?" I mumbled before I was aware of my realisation. The man didn't reply but simply moved close enough to me so I could confirm it was him.

"Here." Jasper muttered, handing me a gun and reaching behind him, pulling out another from his jeans and giving it to me.

The men did not try to move or escape during our exchange, but simply stayed paralyzed on spot. I held the two guns, ready to pull the trigger should any one man move as Jasper bent down, collecting Alice's lifeless body from the floor.

Jasper led the way to the door, as I stayed with my back to him, guns drawn and ready to shoot if the men came after us.

J POV

I got to the Volturi just as crowds of people began to file out. My instincts told me something was wrong, I could sense the panic in the air. When I got out of the car, something told me to open the truck, so I did absentmindedly and noticed a small, duffle bag. I ripped it open, tossing the clothes carelessly into the truck, until my fingers brushed across the cold metal in the bottom of the bag. I pulled out the metal object before realising what it was and quickly hid it from public view before pulling out two more. I tucked one in my jeans and shoved the other two in opposite pockets of my sweater, keeping them hidden encase I needed them, and something told me I would.

I pushed the door to the building open, and the sight in front of me made me immediately draw the illegal firearms.

I don't think I'm a killer, or that I could ever take someone's life, but seeing Alice's lifeless body on the floor with a man laying on top of her, caused something to snap inside me and I knew if I didn't restrain myself, I could take this man's life, easily and without regret.

"Put your hands were I can see them!" I shouted, as my finger twitched on the trigger, daring them to give me a reason to pull it but they didn't. Only when I heard two men yelping in pain did I peel my eyes off Alice and I noticed Rose was there too, successfully making two grown men incapable of ever having children. The irony was mind boggling but I didn't have time to laugh about it now.

My eyes immediately went back to Alice and the clothing that was torn from her, "Get off her _now_ and maybe I wont blow your brains across the wall."

The man obeyed but snarled, "Do you have any idea who you're messing with kid?"

"If I spare your life, Royce certainly will not." I growled as I approached Alice, biting back the urge to kill them all now. I knew if Alice didn't wake up from her unconscious state, I wouldn't be able to stay myself from killing each of them in cold blood.

Maybe I was more like Royce then I thought. I knew I would remove anything that stepped in the way of Alice and I being together, just like Royce killed uncle Charlie, who threatened to come between Royce and his family.

"Jasper?" Rosalie snapped me out of my thoughts and brought me back to the present. I knew all that mattered now was getting Alice out of here, then I would come back for these bastards. I shoved one of the guns at Rosalie, I pulled out the other one and gave it to her as well, freeing my hands so I could get to Alice.

Rosalie covered me as I carried Alice from the scene, once the door closed, Rose stood guard as I placed Alice in the backseat of the Mercedes.

The events still hadn't fully registered in my mind as we sped off down the street, leaving the scene in our dust.

I tried to drive all through the night, trying to make it back to Forks tonight, but Rosalie's light snores from the passenger's seat, were contagious and I had to stop. I pulled off at a hotel, and my heart sunk into my stomach when I realised Alice still hadn't woken up. Immediately I woke up Rosalie, using the excuse of a hotel room when really my hidden agenda was Alice.

"Should we take her to the hospital?" I muttered with my eyes fixed on Alice and my chest aching for her to wake up.

"We can't. They wont treat her without a parent." Rosalie mumbled, her features mirroring my concern.

"Okay, lets get a room, 'cause I can't drive anymore tonight, then we'll get her home tomorrow."

When I carried Alice through the hotel lobby, I could feel her chest lightly rise against mine. Relief washed over me because the chances of her waking up were higher than I thought, but still slim.

I laid Alice down on one of the two beds, and crawled under the covers next to her, knowing a restful sleep wouldn't hit me tonight, but at least its sleep.

A POV

_I'm plummeting from the heavens,_ _falling through the stars, past the sun and moon, which have collided to black each other out. I close my eyes, a life without the sun or moon isn't a life. _

_When I open them again, I'm standing in a lake of fire, as a flock of bats fly freely over head and dive at me, coming at me like darts. I close my eyes, cowering from the awful bird-like creatures. _

_When I open them, I'm in a dirty bar, with low lighting, excruciating heat and self loathing drunks. I take a seat on one of the free stools and wait for the bar tender to take my order. I look around at the other patrons, my seat is beside a large man, with jet black hair like mine, slicked back in an Elvis style hair do. I feel like laughing, but I can't feel humour. _

_"I died on the shitter." He mutters into his empty glass, like I wasn't there, and again, I can't find the humour in something so comical. _

"_Sorry Miss, you can't sit there." The bar tender says to me and I look around for another free stool, but there are none. _

"_Why not?" I ask, feeling slightly rejected. _

"_Because we're not ready for you, yet." Before I can ask, he walks away, tending to a patron at the opposite end of the bar. But not before I chanced a sight at his name tag, Al Capone, it read. I wonder briefly why I know the name of the man with the scar, serving alcohol but not the face. _

_I'm standing in the middle of the room, looking around for a seat, but there all taken. _

_Then I look for faces, seeing if there was anyone to talk to. _

_I see Tupac and Biggie Smalls, arms slings over each others shoulders as they cheered and chugged from their beer mugs. _

_I see Marilyn Monroe playing cards with Michael Jackson. _

_I see Bob Marley singing with Kurt Cobain. _

_Andy Warhol is painting Marilyn's chest game, Napoleon is talking war strategies with Hitler, while Alexander the Great listens in for a laugh. _

_And nothing feels off about this. I walk over to Bob Marley, memorized by the presences of a man the world idolized. _

_Before I can ask though, he replies, "I sold my soul to the devil to save the others, but it was all in vein, they didn't heed my warnings." His face was dead, void of emotion, and his stare, blank. _

_He says nothing more, almost as if I didn't exist to him any longer. _

_I walk over to the rival rap stars, star stricken by their presences. _

_Again, before I could talk, Tupac turns to me with a pained grimace, "The beer is no good. I can drink and drink and will never feel drunk. I swore I saw the devil in my empty glass of Hennessey." _

_I ponder this for a moment before my thoughts are interrupted by Biggie Smalls, "The weed is worst, it doesn't help. Every night at the stroke of midnight I'm shot in the head again. All I feel is pain." _

_Tupac looks to me once more and says, "This isn't Paradise, this isn't my Thug Mansion." Then like Bob Marley, I don't exist anymore. _

_I close my eyes, immersed in the mysteries of this wonderland. _

_When I open them, they are over whelmed with presences of rusty red hair and piercing green eyes. _

"_Mom?" I whispered, my heart growing colder knowing she is in this horrid place._

"_Tomorrow and forever Mary Alice. We'll be together." I took an involuntary step back, taking in her appearance. Her long red hair looked matted and her eyes were wild, without a trace of motherly love. In her arms she held a child, whose skin was smeared with blood. The child had black hair, cut like mine and familiar night like eyes that make me nauseous. _

"_Looks just like him, don't you think?" A cruel smirk contorted her features, while her eyes held a sadistic sparkle that was meant to kill, as she cradled _my_ unborn child. _

_Then everything is gone, and I am alone in the nothingness before a blinding light pierces the darkness and an angel descends to me, but before the angel can reach me, its gone and nothing but the blinding light remains. Slowly the light dims and I can make out my surroundings. I find the source of the light, the red and gold curtains hung open, letting the sunlight shine on my eyes. _

"Jasper! Get in here!" A familiar voice shouted deafeningly loud, "I think she's waking up."

"Alice? Alice say something?" A smooth male voice with a hint of a southern twang… "Jasper?" I croaked.

"Yes, its me Ali, I'm right here." He whispered and I suddenly became aware of his body heat as he had already pulled me into his arms.

"I was in hell." I whispered so softly I wasn't sure if he'd heard.

"I know baby, but you're safe now." He held me to him as I let tears roll freely down my cheeks, not giving them a second thought.

After repeatedly asking if I was okay, and continuously getting the same 'yeah I'm fine' reply, Jasper and Rosalie started packing up the car.

"Hey Ali, you okay. You look kinda pale?" Rose whispered once Jasper had left us alone to check out.

"Mini b-bar." I stuttered as I could feel my stomach doing flips and the detox coming crashing down on me hard.

"I can't. Jasper will be so pissed." Rose mumbled, looking around suspiciously.

"D-Do… it." I panted, trying to keep my stomach contents or lack of, from surfacing.

The conflict of interest was obvious on Rosalie's features as she took a moment to think it over before heading to the mini fridge and handing me all the tiny bottles. I unscrewed the caps one by one, finishing each bottle in a tiny gulp.

I wasn't drinking to fill a void anymore, now I was drinking to stay alive, and some how that need to survive seems worst then using boozes to forget how to feel.

"I-I…I saw hell, Rosalie." I sputtered out, realising I'd need more alcohol to forget the image. She eyed me cautiously but didn't reply, so I continued, " I met Tupac and Biggie and my mom was there and…" Images of my unborn fetus flooded my mind, causing me to lose it at the memory.

I quickly stumbled to the washroom just in time, Rosalie followed quickly behind me, pulling my hair from my face.

"I think you may have had enough to drink for now." She muttered cautiously still, probably waiting for me to lash out, but I didn't.

"She was holding the unborn fetus…mine." I was cut off by the sound of a door slamming shut, I immediately knew I'd said too much and it wasn't only Rosalie's ears that had heard. I looked to Rose, she was as white as I ghost and quickly ran to the sink to hurl.

"What?" Jasper was standing in the doorway of the washroom, as Rose and I continued to empty the contents of our stomach. I looked to Jasper, excepting accusation, judgement or disgust on his features, but found nothing but pity, the pity I'd never wanted.

My body started to trembled before my mind could register the action, I knew I had to tell him now but something was stopping me, scaring me, and it wasn't what I excepted. I was afraid that after everything, my story would be what would make him run.

J POV

After I'd checked out, I realised I still hadn't called anyone.

Feeling slightly like a bastard for making everyone spend another night wondering if the girls were alright, I made my first call.

"Hello?"

"Mr. Brandon. I'm in a hotel between Seattle and Port Angelus, I should have Alice and Rosalie home by nightfall." I stated, a little bit too proudly, but I couldn't help but feel proud, bring the two girls home safely.

"Oh god, is she alright? Can I talk to her? Thank you so much Jasper. You have no idea how thankful I am." I could hear the ear-to-ear grin in his voice.

"She's fine Sir, I don't think now would be the best time to speak with her, and you're welcome Sir. I would do anything for Alice." I stated honestly, a little hesitant on how he would react to my honesty.

"Thank you Jasper. Thank you so much. I'll call Royce and tell him." He choked out and I could tell he was on the verge of sobs. After saying goodbye, I dialled Edward.

"Jasper? What's going on? Is everything alright? My dad said he spoke with you." Edward's voice was plagued with worry. I didn't even have to ask, I instantly knew I was on speaker with Bella and Emmett as well.

"Edward, _We're_ coming home." I shouted, my official tone I'd spoke to Mr. Brandon with was gone and I couldn't control the excitement in my voice.

"You found them? Rosalie is with you? Can I speak to her? Is she okay?" I heard Emmett shouting in the background which was companied by Bella's muffled sobs of joy.

"I'll have her phone you in a little bit. Everyone's okay. Shit got a little ugly, but everything is fine now. I'll give you the details when we get back tonight." After what felt like hours I'd finally managed to get Bella and Emmett off the line so I could make my last, and least appealing call.

"Hello?"

"Royce." I held my official tone, trying not to let my voice waver, betraying the hatred I felt to this man now.

"Jasper."

"She'll be home tonight but there was a situation we need to discuss." I wasn't sure if I could look the man I once called family in the eyes anymore, much less ask him to 'take care' of those men.

After I'd finished on the phone with Royce, I paced the lobby, trying to steady my nerves and calm myself before going back to the room. After a couple of concerned looks from other hotel guests, eyeing the teenage boy pacing the lobby and mumbled cuss words to himself, I figured I'd give them some peace and go back to the room, where I can pace freely.

I opened the door, and was immediately overtaken by the soothing sound of Alice's voice. "I-I…I saw hell, Rosalie…I met Tupac and Biggie and my mom was there and…" I could hear them shuffling around followed quickly by the unnerving sound of someone throwing up.

"I think you may have had enough to drink for now." Rosalie said and my hands balled into fists, I told Rose not to let Alice drink. I stood in the doorway, hoping to hear how much she'd drank before making my presences known. Before my mind and body caught up to each other, my legs were already carrying me to the door, readying myself to curse out Rosalie.

"She was holding the unborn fetus…mine."

_What?_ Alice's eyes met mine. _Shit, did I say that out loud?_ By her expression, I knew I had.

_Maybe she's just drunk._ A small voice in the back of my mind reassured, but I knew better.

I didn't know what to do, what to say, so I did the worst thing possible, but the easiest all the same. I walked away.

_You shouldn't eavesdrop if you don't like what you're going to hear._ My conscience mumbled in the back of mind, making me feel guilt for listening in on their conversation in the first place.

I sat down on the bed, holding my head in my hands as I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to steady my breathing.

I knew I wasn't supposed to hear that, I knew it was part of her story, the story I desperately wanted to know, but I also knew I didn't want to over hear it, I wanted her to trust me and tell me.

"Jas…?" I opened my eyes, staring at the shoes in my vision. I didn't need the high heels to tell me who it was, I knew her voice. "Its not what you think, she had a dream, that's all." Rosalie whispered softly, her voice filled with regret.

"It wasn't a fucking dream!"

A POV

I shrieked, how can Rose patronize what I saw like that. I saw hell and in the literal meaning of the word, what could be a worse sight? How can someone minimize what I saw, it's not like it was a fucking walk in the park, it was hell.

I pulled myself from the bathroom floor and into the doorframe, slowly stumbling to the main room where Rosalie, Jasper and the truth waited for me.

"Hey Rose, make yourself scarce for a bit, will you." I muttered, letting the venom seep into my voice a little more than I'd meant to.

"Uh, yeah. I'll go call Emmett or something in the hallway." She mumbled, keeping her eyes on the floor as she rushed from the room. When the door closed behind her, I hesitantly took a seat on the bed across from Jasper.

I didn't know where to start, with everyone else, I just blurted out the facts, as cold, heartless and true as they were, but with Jasper I don't think I can do it. For some reason, I want to hide the damage, like a used car, I want to make the 'quarks' sound minimal, so he wouldn't realise just how damaged I really was.

"Why did you run, why didn't you at least tell us where you were going?" Jasper's eyes pleaded with me for answers, answers to questions he'd held back for so long, too long.

"You'd try to stop us." I stated coldly, with my guard unintentionally up from a force of habit.

"I told you, you never have to be alone again Alice, I'm here. I-I,-" He paused, bring his wide green eyes to met mine, "-I love you."

The words came out before I was aware I'd said it, "I love you too Jasper."

"Then why?"

"Because I love you." It was the simplest thing in the world, but the most complicated all the same. I love him, so I had to let him be happy, I had to let him find someone better, someone who wasn't broken.

"That's bullshit Alice." He hissed venomously, his eyes narrowing into a sharp glare as the mood suddenly changed from gentle to deadly in a split second. "You left because you were afraid. You ran because you loved me yes, but it wasn't for me."

"I'm no good for you. You deserve better."

"I deserve what I want, and what I'm willing to fight for." Jasper growled, his lips pressed in a thin line as his eyes analyzed my every movement. If I so much as flinched, it wouldn't go unnoticed.

"Then you're a fool. I'm too damaged Jasper, you can't fix me."

"For fuck sakes Alice!-" He shouted standing up and throwing his arms in the air for emphasis, "-You're not a goddamn project to me. I'm not trying to _fix you_. I love you just the way you are, baggage and all."

"You don't know my baggage, so how can you?"

"Alice, I don't care if fucking killed a man. Even if you were a damn sociopath or a fucking serial killer, I know I'd still be in love with you."

I let out a long sigh, knowing it was now or never, and never meant I'd lose him forever. He looked for me, found me and saved me, the least I could to do was fight for him too. "I've never killed a man, I'm not a serial killer or a sociopath, I'm a whore." I couldn't look at him while I spoke, I didn't want to see the hate or disgust on his features, I just don't think I could live with that last image of him, when he walks away from me. "My mother hung herself in the garage, I found her body. My step father was a heroine addict. After I found my mom, I drove my car into a tree, on purpose. My step father took my virginity on the bed he shared with my mother, he beat the shit out of me and cut my hair off, let his friends watch as he raped me, then let his friends do the same." I let the sob flow freely now, because I knew he was about to leave, and I hadn't even got to the worse part. After a few moments of silence, he hadn't left, so I continued. "I had an abortion. It was his. A kid from school saw me, and told everyone. I slept with my best friend's boyfriend, and she thought we were carrying on an affair, and the child was his. So she beat me half to death, and you know what, the whole time I was praying she'd put me out of my misery… I wasn't dreaming when I said I saw hell, I spoke to my mother. She was holding the baby I aborted, you know what she said?-" A cruel laugh escaped my lips, showing the only emotion in my otherwise detached tone, "-She said, 'looks just like him, don't you think.' The baby was covered in blood, and she cuddled it, loved it. I didn't imagine that, but I'll never forget it."

My body was trembling as I paced the room, tears burning down my cheeks, but if it wasn't for the warming sensation, I wouldn't have known I was crying. I wasn't even in this room anymore, I was somewhere else, in a different world. "My mother killed herself because of me, because of what I was doing with him. She knew what was happening, and committed suicide because of me."

_Any second now…_ I readied myself to hear the inevitable slamming of the door behind him, the sound the would cue the end of my life, the end of my sanity and my last chance at happiness leaving. But everything was quiet, still even. I took a deep breath, bring myself back to this room, this world and steadied myself to finish the story. "That was my step father at the bar. Those were his friends. I used to watch them shot up before they'd -they'd…" I broke down, the weight of everything that had happened came causing down on my, literally bring me to the ground as my legs buckled beneath me. I stared at the ground, hearing foot steps and waiting for that door to close forever, but the footsteps stopped, the door didn't open or close.

All of a sudden, his arms snaked around me, hugging me to his chest and pulling me into his lap, as he sat on the floor next to me.

"I wish I could have saved you.-" His voice cracked, as sobs built in his chest. "-I love you Alice, you never have to be alone again, I'll never let anyone hurt you ever again. I promise."

We stayed like that for a while, my head against his chest as he ran his fingers through my hair, whispering how much we loved each other, while I sobbed and cried every tear I'd held in.

We would have stayed like that forever, if Rosalie hadn't come back, if there weren't people waiting for us, if we were irresponsible but we couldn't, well Jasper wouldn't, but I would have.

We drove mostly in silence, which became increasingly awkward as I became more unease by the minute. _How could things be awkward after everything that just happened? Is he having second thoughts?_

As if Jasper had felt my concern, he broke the tension, "So Rose, why did you leave?"

Something told me he wasn't asking so much as seeking confirmation.

"Uh, just feeling smothered at home." She mumbled awkwardly, her voice hinting to the fact that she didn't like the direction the conversation was taking.

"Really? Huh. I would'a thought it had something to do with your father's line of work." Jasper said mockingly, a knowing smirk played on his lips.

"Yeah… Something like that." Rosalie mumbled softly, trying to end the conversation there.

"Wouldn't have anything do to with Uncle Charlie now would it?"

Rosalie and I gasped in unison, her face mirrored my shocked expression.

"H-How did-did you know?" She stuttered out, her tone laced with fear and unease.

"Why did I have to hear it from someone else Rose? I can understand why nobody told Bella, but why didn't you tell me?" Jasper seemed more hurt than angry with Rosalie, which seemed to make Rose a little more comfortable as she let out a small sigh.

"I thought you'd hate me and blame me Jas, you're the only one who still talks to me, who still looks at me like family. Even your parents look at me with disgust." She choked, her voice breaking with sobs that threatened to overtake her.

"It's not your fault Rosalie, I would never blame you." He whispered, his eyes held pain and remorse as he met hers in the rear-view mirror. "I'll always love you Rose, no matter what. You and Bella have been like sisters to me. Mind you, Bella was more like the sister I wanted, and you were more like the older sister I was stuck with, but no matter what, we'll always be family Rose."

The mood was light and calm the rest of the drive, but it was the kind of calm before a storm. Both Rose and I knew shit would hit the fan once we got back. Our parents would eventually freak, once the relief worn off, Jasper would eventually say something to Bella, or worse, to Royce. Emmett would grill Rose for answers, Bella and Edward would do the same to me. Rose would have to tell Emmett about her father and Bella's. I would have to tell Edward and Emmett about my past. But right now, everything was calm, with an underlying tension no one would address.

When we pulled onto my road, I felt overwhelmed by the cars parked on the street by my house. I quickly spotted Emmett's, Edward's, Billy's and a few more I couldn't put a face too.

I reluctantly made my way to the front door, dreading the commotion my presence will cause. Sure enough, as soon as Jasper closed the door behind us my father's arms were around my shoulder pulling me to him, while Bella's were around my waist, pulling the opposite direction.

"Don't you ever do that again Alice Brandon. Do you know how worried I was?" Surprising, the parental concern came from Bella first as she hugged me tighter while she laid a guilt trip on me. I took comfort in the fact that I wasn't the only on in this position, Rosalie was sandwiched between her mother's hugs and kisses and Emmett overbearing arms. Finally my father let me go, placing a small peck on my forehead before Edward took his place, Bella still attached to my hip. Once Edward finally let go, Bella did too, only so I could be charged at and lifted in the air, by Jacob's massive arms. After some yelling and shouting, he put me down, so Billy could hug me, then Emmett, then Jasper finally got his turn, holding me in his arms as he guided us to the living room. After we sat down, my father came over to Jasper with a huge, welcoming smile. Jasper stood up politely and extended his hand, but my father wouldn't have it, and stunned Jas with a fatherly hug. When my father let Jasper go, they stood there for a moment facing each other, until my dad spoke up, mumbling with a playful smirk, "Damn spitfire."

Jasper chuckled at their inside joke, but then his face grew sober, "I owe you an apology Sir, that night I lied to you about my intentions for your daughter." Jasper paused for a moment, and I could tell by the mischievous smirk on his face, he was waiting for a raise from my dad. As soon as my father's features hardened, Jasper continued, "- I intent to make her my wife one day."

My heart beat erratically and so fast it was almost painful. My father's face softened and he genuinely smiled at Jasper, "You would have my blessing Son… After you finish college of course."

I couldn't help the stop grin that took up most of my face, when my father called Jasper 'son'. It was as if my life had just started now, nothing hurt from the past, I had no past, as soon as I stepped foot through the front door of my father's house, my new home. I was reborn, without a past and a future as Mrs. Mary Alice Whitlock.

* * *

**Disclaimer #2: I do not believe in hell. Therefore, I do not believe any of the people mentioned above are in hell. (Excluding Hitler, who is of course in Hell or at least some variation of it.)**

**This is in no way or form my way of trash talking. Marilyn Monroe was an inspiration to all women. Andy Warhol was an incredible artist, who changed the way people look at art. Bob Marley was and is still an inspiring man, who tried to change the world for the better. The deaths of Biggie and Tupac were tragic, and the world is worse off without them. Kurt Cobain died much too young. I do not believe Michael Jackson was a pedophile, or that he is in hell. He was an incredible musician. Napoleon and Alexander the Great are two great men in history. Al Capone was the original gangster, and Elvis, well Elvis was just Elvis, what more can I say.**

**I'd also like to explain a few fun facts about this part of the story:**

**First, for those who don't know who Al Capone was, he was a gangster who smuggled alcohol into the States during prohibition. That's why he is the bartender.**

**Secondly, the man Alice is sitting next to, is in fact Elvis, for those who didn't catch that.**

**Thirdly, Napoleon and Hitler are talking war strategies because Napoleon's big mistake was trying to invade Russia in the winter, the exact same mistake Hitler made years later. Alexander the Great was also a famous leader, involved in many wars, his however, had much more positive results than Napoleon's or Hitler's.**

**Forth, Biggie Smalls and Tupac Shakur were rivals in the '90s, many blame the East Coast, West Coast rivalry for their deaths. (Biggie Smalls was East Coast and Tupac was West Coast)**

**A little backround info on the West Coast/East Coast war: Tupac was shot five times, he blamed Biggie Smalls for the shooting. Soon after the shooting, Biggie released his song, Who Shot Yeah. Though he went on record saying the song was not about the Tupac shooting, Tupac and deathrow records, Suge Knight, did not believe it, and Tupac came back with the song, Hit 'Em up. Where he not only talks about the beef, he mentions Biggie by name. This started the war. In 1993, Tupac Shakur took nine shots outside a Tyson fight in Vegas, he died in the hospital. Soon after, Biggie Smalls was shot in the head at a red light in California (West Coast), right after he preformed a consert which included his song, Who Shot Yeah. Many believe the rivalry was started by Suge Knight (Deathrow records, Tupac's producer) and P Diddy (Badboy records, Biggie Small's producer), who had beef long before the rivalry.**

**And Finally, for all you rap fans out there, I'm sure you noticed the lyrics I quoted from Tupac's songs.**

**#1: "I swore I saw the devil in my empty glass of Hennessey." -Ballad of a Dead Soldier -Verse two, Tupac Shakur.**

**#2: Thug Mansion is the title of a song by Tupac. **

**Lastly, I cannot take all the credit for Alice's dream, I was inspired by The Sopranos. In Season two, Christopher Moltisanti had a dream he died and had gone to hell, he said it was a bar, and the bouncer told him they were not ready for him yet. He saw his father and a few old friends/associates. So I cannot take credit for those ideas.**

**So... who wants an epilogue? :)**

**Leave love...**


	13. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, SM does, nor do I own Suicide Solution, the epic musical genius known as Ozzy Osborne does. **

**To anyone who reads this, I am so so sorry for the delay and if anybody has been waiting for this, Thank You for hanging in there with me. I know this is way overdo!**

**My excuse (even though such a long delay is inexcuseable.): I hate this ending. I hate all endings. Honestly, to me, endings feel like character deaths. I hate closing a story. I wrote this ending a long time ago, and it was ready to be posted a long time ago, but I just didn't (and still don't) like it. I kept trying to edit it and lenghten it, but couldn't without ruining the parts I do like. So it stays as is. I know its short, and lacking, but I felt you guys deserved some kind of ending, no matter how short it is. **

**So this brings me to my second point, Suicide Solution by Ozzy Osborne, is a song I feel perfectally represents Alice throught out this story, and I think it deserves a mention. **

**So without further babble, **

**ENJOY.**

**xo**

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Suicide Solution by Ozzy Osborne

Wine is fine, but whiskey's quicker

Suicide is slow with liqueur

Take a bottle, drown your sorrows

Then it floods away tomorrows

Away tomorrows

Evil thoughts and evil doings

Cold, alone you hang in ruins

Thought that you'd escape the reaper

You can't escape the master keeper

'Cos you feel life's unreal, and you're living a lie

Such a shame, who's to blame, and you're wondering why

Then you ask from your cask, is there life after birth

What you saw can mean hell on this earth

Hell on this earth

Now you live inside a bottle

The reaper's travelling at full throttle

It's catching you, but you don't see

The reaper's you, and the reaper is me

Breaking laws, knocking doors

But there's no one at home

Made your bed, rest your head

But you lie there and moan

Where to hide, suicide is the only way out

Don't you know what it's really about

Wine is fine, but whiskey's quicker

Suicide is slow with liqueur

Take a bottle, drown your sorrows

Then it floods away tomorrows.

_One year later…_

A POV

Jasper and I were wed in July, after he got his acceptance letter from the university of Seattle and showed it to my father, for his permission.

We had a midnight wedding on the day of a lunar eclipse. Bella thought I was crazy, she said it defeated the propose of having a summer wedding, but I knew better.

It was beautiful, the night air was warm and dry for the first time in a long time. The ceremony was set up in the park were Jasper and I had spent our first night.

I couldn't choose between Bella or Rosalie to be my maid of honour, so they both were, just like both Emmett and Edward were Jasper's best man. My father reluctantly gave me away at the wedding, and looking into his eyes, I remember the wish I'd made on my fifth birthday. "Daddy, remember my fifth birthday in the meadow." I whispered as we walked down the isle, he nodded, but didn't say anything, "I wished I could find someone to love me the way you and mom loved each other."

When we got to the alter, my father gave me a peck on the cheek, tears of enjoy in his eyes, as he gave me to Jasper.

If I was the moon, Jasper was the Sun, and once in while, our paths would cross and we could coexist together in either day or night, making magic happen.

When we said our vows, it was as if the cosmos knew. As the Minster pronounced us man and wife, the sun had totally swallowed the moon, staying in perfect alignment until our first kiss as man and wife ended.

A few days after we'd returned from Seattle, I told Emmett and Edward my story, and Rose told everyone but mainly Bella, hers. To say the tension, tears and anger wasn't completely overwhelming would be a lie. Nobody got off easy, everyone became immersed in the secrets and tragic events that had become of us, no one's innocence was spared.

Among the heavy, I told them about my visions of the past and the future, which had been happening more and more often, however the visions of the past seemed to all but disappear.

The small glimpses of the future I get, seem light and uncomplicated. I saw the baby I will conceive in a little more then a year. I've already started to pick out names, but I haven't told Jasper yet, he prefers the surprise. Bella and Rose on the other hand, they prefer the heads up route, Emmett has no preference, except for when I see answers for a test, then he said he wants to know. Edward, just like Jasper, prefers a surprise for the small things, but wants to know if its important. So along with the stress of seeing what's about to happen, I am also responsible for alerting the right person or persons.

I told Rose and Bella about the daughter I will have a year after the wedding, and they secretly started their 'auntie' duties, without alerting Emmett or Edward.

After the honeymoon, I had one vision that changed everything.

_My father lay in a hospital bed at the age of eighty-nine, Sue still loyally by his side, while their kids, my siblings waited anxiously in the waiting-room. My father dismissed this lady, Sue, so he could speak to me alone. _

"_Alice, there is one thing I regret never telling you but I hope it comes better late than never." He breathed out, no louder than a whisper. I didn't interrupt, but waited for his proclamation, "Before your mother and I were married, I was with Elizabeth Cullen, well you would know her as Elizabeth Masen. Alice, we had a child together." _

"_Edward…" I mumbled, not questioning but knowing. _

"_Yes, Edward is my son." _

I wasn't sure what this all meant. I understood the Edward part, but who was Sue and why was she at my father's death bed?

Instead of waiting for the time, I decided to take this one into my own hands.

"Hey Dad?" He mumbled something unintelligible as both he and Billy focused on the football game. His lack of response gave me mischievous ideas to toy with his mind. "I had an affair with Edward Masen, and I'm pregnant." and just like that, the football game didn't exist anymore as both men gaped, slack-jawed at me. "Just kidding.-" I chuckled and added as an after thought, my first thought, "-Hey, do I have a brother?"

Both my father and Billy stared at me with wide eyes and mouths fallen open so much that their jaws almost dragged on the floor.

"W-Wh-What?" My father stuttered, staring at me as if I had just sprouted a second head.

"Is Edward Masen my brother?" I asked causally as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

"H-How did you know?"

I plopped down on the couch beside him, chuckling at his shock, "Sometimes I have dreams of shit that's going to happen."

Suddenly everything faded for a moment, then it was back and I knew to go get some beers from the fridge for my dad and Billy.

"Uh, Thanks?" My dad said, as if he was about to ask if I was sick or something.

"You're gonna need'em, your team is going to lose."

_Fifteen years later... _

Jasmine Rose-Belle Whitlock was born exactly one year after our wedding, much to my father's dismay but he quickly grew to adore my child. My father, as excepted, kept Jasmine's picture in his wallet, flashing it around Forks whenever he could, boring Billy half to death.

Over the years, our family may have almost doubled in size, but its never been closer. At Christmases, almost half of Forks all crowds into the home I used to share with my dad.

Once upon a time, it was me and my father but now, my family network has grown so large, I can hardly keep track.

I tried to do the family math in my mind, but quickly gave up and focused on the party.

Today was my father's fifty-fourth birthday, even though he insisted I only put fifty-one candles on the cake, and our whole family was there. Sue Clearwater-Brandon, my father's now wife and my now step mother, helped me in the kitchen, baking a cake large enough for this crowd. Before my Dad's wedding a couple years ago to Sue, I considered Bella, Rose, Emmett and Ed my siblings but now, I can officially say I am not an only child anymore. Sue had two kids, which made Seth my step brother, Jacob's wife Leah my step sister and Jacob a brother through marriage, even though I considered him my brother before and Edward, my half brother.

Every year though, the gang seemed to increase, this year was no exception. This time it was Seth and Emily's turn to make the addition, whereas the glory usually belonged to Rosalie and Emmett, who now had four, and we still haven't stopped counting. Knowing those two, we're still expecting another kid or two.

So far, the gang is at eleven kids, of all ages.

Jasmine being the oldest at fifteen.

Lea-cob had two sons and a daughter, William, Joshua and Samantha. William just turned fifteen, Joshua is about to have his eleventh birthday next month and Samantha who had her fourteenth birthday a few months ago.

Then there is Belly-ward's twins, Marie and Jonathan who turned fourteen as well.

One of Emm-alie's four daughter's is also fourteen, Kate. Her sisters, Natasha, Kristin and Julie are twelve, ten and seven.

Then the newest addition Amanda, Seth-ily's newborn of only ten months.

After putting the cake in the oven, I went to join Jasper in the backyard, but before I could make it out the backdoor, everything faded away and I entered the other world I'd become so accustom too.

_Everyone was gathered around on big picnic table, the sun was shining and no clouds threatened to break this perfect day. _

_My father sat at the head of the table, Sue to his left and I sat to his right. Adults and kids alike, were seated where they desired as Jasmine placed a cake with fifty-one cakes in front of her grandfather, before taking the seat between Jasper and myself. _

_My Dad closed his eyes, and blew out all the candles in a single breath, smiling at his triumph, he cut the cake and passed around the slices. _

_All the children were playing now as the adults sat together with their respective drinks and looked on. _

"_Edward?" My father asked, with a pained and guilty expression that gave all his secrets away. _

_Edward didn't reply but looked to my dad with a smile and waited for him to continue, "There's something I should have told you years ago, but I just couldn't find the words.-" He sighed and held his head in his hands, "-Your mother and I where together before I met Alice's mom. We had a child." _

_Edward stared at him in disbelief, his eyes wide and his mouth agape. "I'm sorry Edward. We shouldn't have kept this from you."_

"_Dad?" Edward whispered softly, I suspect we were not supposed to hear it. _

"_Yes, Son." _

"Okay, Everyone take a seat." Sue shouted just as I came back to the present. Absentmindedly, I found myself wondering towards the picnic table, trying to place my vision on a timeline.

Everything fell into place when my eyes found the empty chair between Jasper and I.

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**The End. **

**Thank you to all who have come this far with me, I couldn't have gone on with this had it not been for the support of all of you who read and reviewed. You really made writing this worth while. Again, Thank you. **

**xo**


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